It Gets Better

George Michael · Carlos:Carlos was just tickling me — casual explanation for why George Michael is laughing, immediately deflating the narrator's grandiose 'more popular than ever' setup

George Michael · Carlos · Terry:Someone saved George Michael the last root beer snow cone because 'somebody was saying that George Michael likes root beer' — a sycophantic gesture escalating into a petty fight over it

George Michael · Carlos:'You know my name! What's his name?' / 'You're the kiss-ass, Carlos.' — George Michael still doesn't know anyone's names; Carlos is only known because of his role label

George Michael · Rebel · Carlos:'I only know Carlos because of that old song "Carlos the Tickle Monster." / Wait, what song is that? / Oh, god, I knew he made that up.'

Narrator:The narrator announces 'Now the story of a family whose future was abruptly cancelled' — meta reference to the show's own cancellation

Narrator:'It's George Michael's Arrested Development' — the title card rebrands the show as belonging to George Michael

George Michael · Band members:George Michael's band keeps playing after the song ends because they all sped up together — he insists it should have ended earlier, and they all argue it ended at the same time

George Michael:George Michael's Juilliard demo is for wood block, and he hopes they'll 'dig what I do so much that they start an entire department for wood block'

George Michael:'Well, then I'm not playing in a band. The whole point of the band is to showcase my amazing internal clock. You know, that's something you have to be born with.'

BabyTock Spokesman · George Bluth Sr.:BabyTock promotional video: 'If I were a doctor, I would guarantee you that it would also boost their brain power 110%'

Lucille · Tracey:Lucille interrupts Tracey mid-sentence — Tracey: 'Well, that's impossible...' Lucille: 'To deny.' She has 'always wanted a smart baby.'

George Bluth Sr.:The BabyTock timer was invented from leftover corn-baller parts: 'The timer still works. There's no numbers on it, but it's very loud'

Narrator:'Perfect for those who like the sound of a clock, but don't know their numbers.' — the narrator describes BabyTock

George Bluth Sr.:George Sr. yells 'We'll sell this to baby— [MOTHER OF BLEEP]!' as the corn-baller burns him mid-pitch

George Bluth Sr.:'That's not a half puny thought.' — George Sr.'s response to the baby crib idea

George Michael:George Michael asks his roommate to keep the Juilliard application secret from his dad 'because he still thinks of me as the same George Michael... before the world cracked me open... George Michael 2.0'

Michael · George Michael · Bluth Family:George Michael's college send-off: the family gives him a check, Michael storms in to rip it up, demanding everyone watch him tear it apart piece by piece — 'That's it. Rip it. Couple more.'

GOB · Bluth Family · George Michael:'Happy birthday' after ripping up the check — GOB and the family singing happy birthday as a coda to Michael's dramatic exit

Michael · George Michael · Narrator:The narrator says Michael 'did make sure his son got a car' as Michael shouts 'Get out of here' and shoves him toward a car

George Michael:George Michael arrives at college without any possessions — visual gag implied as the narrator says 'he arrived at college without his possessions'

George Michael:George Michael arrives to find something going wrong with a truck — metallic screeching, onlookers laughing — he laughs nervously saying 'N... no. No, no. What?' implying something embarrassing happened with his arrival

George Michael · Narrator:George Michael's freshman-year rebellions: drinking Pepsi in the morning, having eggs at night

George Michael:George Michael overhears himself telling a joke — '(laughing): I forgot it wasn't morning' — and we hear it getting laughs from the original scene and then his friends laughing at the retelling

George Michael · GOB:GOB's magic present 'elevated his newfound confidence' then immediately 'diminishing it' — visual gag implied of a magic trick gone wrong

George Michael · Ray · Becky:Sophomore year montage: 'everything got turned up to 11' — followed by a highlight reel of events including Ray constantly reminding him about Becky

George Michael · Researcher:George Michael volunteers for a kissing science experiment — discovers what the straps are for when a mechanical 'mouth unit' is brought in instead of a human

George Michael · Narrator · Spanish Woman:George Michael's year abroad: he was nannying children for a woman who 'opened him up sexually'

Spanish Woman · Unknown:'Hey, hey, did Ernesto get his 4:00?' / 'The drones are coming. Nothing matters now.' — interrupting the sexual awakening scene

Spanish Woman · George Michael · Narrator:'Why do you kiss like this?' / 'The teeth, they must not be used like this.' — the Spanish woman critiques George Michael's kissing technique; narrator notes 'it was actually a jaw and lip retraction issue but she had neither a command of the language nor the data that we do'

George Michael · Spanish Woman:'You make love like a boy.' / 'Spanish, speak to me in Spanish.' — George Michael's response to being sexually criticized is to ask for Spanish because college credit requires it

Spanish Woman · George Michael:'Oh, yes, make me cry.' / 'You're a terrible mother.' / (high-pitched crying)

George Michael · Narrator:George Michael returns to senior year 'eager to unleash his new overt sexuality on an unsuspecting campus' — walks in, says 'It gets better,' gets laughs

George Michael · Narrator:The narrator says he was 'like a king returning to his castle' at the same moment George Michael says 'I sort of feel like a king returning to his castle'

George Michael · Roommates:The roommates think 'George Michael' means two people named 'Michael' and 'George' — 'Can't wait to meet Michael, George'

Michael · George Michael:Michael arrives at college: 'Pete died.' / 'Oh, God. Who's, uh, Pete?' / 'Don't worry about it.'

Michael · George Michael:Michael sees the mustache and says 'Probably gonna want to shave it off before the start of next quarter. Otherwise they're gonna think you're a musician, huh?' — immediately undermining George Michael's new identity

George Michael:'That sounds like a mother of an invention.' — George Michael's response to 'too bad there's no such thing as an electric wood block'

George Michael · P-Hound:The naming process for the app: Woodblock (taken), Blockwood (taken), Block of Wood (taken), Block-block (no — 'people are going to think we're in the chicken-noise business')

George Michael · P-Hound:Fakeblock domain name is available for $5,000; George Michael just spent 99 cents on competitor apps — '...times three'

George Michael · Tutoring Agency Employee:Tutoring agency: 'Is this "F" in "Maeby F." her last name or her grade?' / 'Oh, it's her last name. But her most recent grade is... well, this just shows an Elvis Presley head.'

George Michael · Tutoring Agency Employee:'So, that bad? / I'll take her. / Stay on top of her. / You may need to ride her pretty hard.'

George Michael · P-Hound · Maeby:George Michael's roommate is also interested in Maeby — he's wearing the same shirt as George Michael and Maeby compliments it on him, causing George Michael to realize he's been betrayed

George Michael · P-Hound:George Michael confesses to Maeby about their past relationship: 'for whatever reason, I listened to my dad who said we shouldn't make it work.' / 'Was she your first?' / 'Cousin? No.' / 'Why would your mind go right to... ? No.'

George Michael · P-Hound:George Michael says 'I wasn't yet O.S.' — P-Hound: 'Overtly sexual.' — George Michael: 'Overtly sexual. Right. As I live and breathe. Crazy. That's just crazy.'

George Michael · Narrator · Maeby:George Michael rehearses the fake-coincidence meeting with Maeby: 'Maeby, what are you doing here? As I live and breathe.' — narrator: 'But for the phrase, he nailed it.'

George Michael · Maeby:'Don't you need an education?' / 'Don't forget... I'm a Harris. Someone who "inharris" a lot of money.'

George Michael:'I wouldn't put all my Anns in that basket.' — George Michael's warning to Maeby about over-relying on inheritance

George Michael · P-Hound:George Michael claims he 'made a 40-year-old woman cry in Spain' as evidence of his overt sexuality; P-Hound responds 'I love making love to Spanish women'; George Michael says 'Get out.'

George Michael:'A man, a woman... a bedroom. Let's solve for X.'

George Michael · Maeby:Maeby: 'X isn't a number.' — George Michael cannot resist correcting her even while trying to seduce her

Narrator · George Michael:Narrator: 'The urge to educate her was more powerful than the urge to kiss her.' — George Michael drops the seduction to teach Maeby algebra

George Michael · Maeby:After the algebra lesson, George Michael tries to return to the seduction: 'Therefore, when I say, "You and me in a bedroom, let's solve for X," I'm... I'm stating it as a kind of formula.' / 'Yeah, let's get wasted. Let's drink that formula.'

George Michael · Narrator:George Michael's interior monologue about whether to perpetuate the Fakeblock lie — 41 seconds pass according to his 'unfailing internal clock'

George Michael · Narrator:After 41 seconds, George Michael begins lying about Fakeblock: 'A Boolean-driven aggregation, really, of what programmers call hacker traps' — the narrator: 'he found himself suddenly and effortlessly tapping into a long-inbred instinct for lying. A Bluth taking his first steps in deceit.'

George Michael · Narrator:Narrator: 'And he found himself suddenly and effortlessly tapping into a long-inbred instinct for lying. A Bluth taking his first steps in deceit.'

George Michael:'Ay, dios mio.' — George Michael's Spanish reaction to realizing Fakeblock could be bigger than Facebook

George Michael:'No. No, of course not. No. I mean, this is my chance with Maeby, and I can't even get rid of my own father.'

George Michael:George Michael's elaborate plan to get Michael to vote himself out: 'Not if I get him to vote against himself.' / 'Why would he do that?' / 'No, he wouldn't. He... I was just leaning back, so it looked like I...' / 'I got this chair again, didn't I?'

Michael · George Michael:The privacy software pitch becomes 'Sounds like you guys are working on your privacy software, huh?' — Michael interprets the dorm voting conversation as privacy software development

George Michael:'And it's, "Adios, brothiero." / It cannot fail.'

George Michael · P-Hound:'Did he look betrayed to you?' / 'He kind of always looks that way.'

Maeby:Maeby is getting a 'lifetime achievement award' at a gala — she's still in high school

Maeby:Maeby: 'I can't bring any of my friends without getting permission slips from their parents.' — she's an adult receiving lifetime achievement awards but needs parental permission for her friends to attend

Maeby:'Yeah, 'cause you just betrayed yours, right?' — Maeby's casual observation that George Michael voted his dad out

George Michael · Rebel:George Michael tells Rebel 'In Spain, they don't even eat dinner until after 11 p.m.' as if it's a profound personal revelation

George Michael · Rebel:'Oh, I know this guy. Hey.' / 'Oh. It's Justin. That's David Henrie. He's Justin from Wizards of Waverly Place.' / 'Hmm.' / 'It's on a lot in Spain.'

Maeby:Maeby: 'I'm going to go mingle with a bunch of 13-year-olds who think they can still play fifth grade.'

George Michael · Hotel Clerk · Maeby (implied):George Michael at the hotel check-in: 'Buenas noches, pequeño Scarlet. I will be needing a room, please. / How many nights? / Two. Sorry. No, just one night. / I thought you were saying how many people. / And how many beds? / Two. / No. Uh, one bed. / Why give her the option? Keep it real simple. One bed, one night, two people, let's solve for X.' (laughs) / 'I hate young Hollywood.'

Maeby:Maeby is pitching Fakeblock to investors at the gala: 'It's called Fakeblock, Mort. It's going to blow Schnoodle out of the water!'

Rebel · George Michael:'How does your privacy software work?' / 'Huh? It's private.'

George Michael:George Michael gives his name as 'George Maharis' then immediately hears it paged: 'Is George Michael here? Is George Michael here?' — and laughs 'Oh, God. Just remind me not to go in the men's room!'

George Michael · Rebel · Cop Boyfriend:Rebel is dating an 'undercover cop boyfriend' she's trying to get into bed — George Michael just booked a hotel room for one night with one bed for himself and Maeby

John Beard:John Beard's news broadcast: 'Fakeblock's mystery man, George Maharis, may have just found a way to screw a cap on the Internet, and investors are lining up to fill the company's tank with money.' / 'That's all the news that's fit to pump. I quit.'

P-Hound · George Michael:P-Hound upon learning George Michael IS George Maharis: 'Why would you do that?' / 'You know, it's like the time you told that girl you were George Takei's son.'

George Michael · P-Hound:'I put in the first three dollars, so that makes you a hop-on.' / 'No, you're the hop-on, Paul.' / 'I know exactly who you're trying to hop on to.' / (both) 'Maeby.'

Maeby · George Michael:Maeby: 'I trust you, George Michael. I would not get into bed with you on this thing if I didn't trust you.' / 'No. Yeah, of... of course you can trust me in bed.' / 'No, I mean, I trust you not to take advantage of me.' / 'No. I wouldn't. We would just lie there.'

Maeby · George Michael:'We'd just lie there? I mean, I'm talking about business.' / 'So am I. That's why we would just lie there.'

George Michael · Maeby:Maeby: 'We'd just lie there? I mean, I'm talking about business.' / George Michael: 'So am I. That's why we would just lie there.'

Maeby:'When you become an Internet billionaire, you could do whatever you want with me in bed.' — Maeby's offhand comment that makes George Michael change his mind about the lie

GOB · George Michael:GOB tries to meet George Michael at a 'magic club' — but takes him to what appears to be a gay club — supposedly to tell him his father is upset

George Michael:'He is upset? I asked you that. That was literally the first thing I asked you. So you're giving me these crazy... Mad?'

Andy Richter · George Michael:Andy Richter vs. his identical brother trying to get into the Ealing Club — 'It's my stupid brother! He looks just like me.'

George Michael:George Michael asks for a 'sea-breeze' at the bar — 'Make it a strong one. Put some stank on that.'

George Michael:George Michael ordering at the bar: 'Hi. Yeah, just a sea-breeze, please. Make it a strong one. Put some stank on that.'

Rebel · Andy Richter:Rebel criticizes George Michael as a jerk: 'You're a bigger jerk than Andy Richter over there!' / Andy: 'Loosen up, bitch. I'm Andy Richter! I probably make like $8,000 a day or something.'

George Michael · Rebel:'You were in the remake of "Dangerous Cousins." I signed up to Netflix because of that movie.'

George Michael · Rebel:'I prefer a woman who aims higher.' — George Michael's response to Rebel saying women must throw themselves at his feet

Rebel · George Michael:'That was funny.' / 'Yeah, I know.' / 'That was good. That was...' / 'Smooth.' / 'Smooth. Hey, we have the same taste in words.'

George Michael · Rebel:George Michael's father is paging 'George Michael' over the club intercom while George Michael is trying to pass himself off as 'George Maharis' — he sneaks away to 'check his messages in the men's room'

Michael · George Michael:Michael and George Michael are leaving simultaneous voicemails for each other — Michael excitedly describing a plane crash traffic jam while George Michael hopes it keeps Michael away from the club

Michael:Michael's traffic jam monologue escalates to: 'Bet you 500 bucks they find a dead kid behind the stick. Or maybe on the dead dad's lap whose only fault was loving that kid too much and letting him fly the plane.'

Andy Richter · Michael:Andy Richter: 'Oh, yeah, sure. Whatever you want... it's on Andy.' / 'Thank you.' / 'It's on this rich a--hole. Bye.'

Michael · Ron Howard:Michael to Ron Howard: 'A month ago, I would have told you that he and I were exactly the same, that we were twins. But now, I wouldn't even think of my son as my brother.'

Lawyer · George Michael · P-Hound · Narrator:The Fakeblock lawsuit: 'Was it or was it not my client who put up the initial seed money for the block software that served as the underlying architecture of Fakeblock?' / 'It was 99 cents.' / 'Times three.' / 'Times three.'

Lawyer:'Can I say something to my client?' / (pause) / 'Take to the sea!'