At UC Irvine things get steamy when George-Michael finds himself in a love triangle with his best friend Ray and his girlfriend Becky.
Season finale ties disparate threads with 75 jokes across absurdist callbacks and character-driven humor.
Directed by Mitchell Hurwitz, Troy Miller · Written by Dean Lorey, Richard A. Rosenstock
WAR
61.9
Wins Above Replacement
“It Gets Better” ranks #75 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 76.0 — Great. The episode packs 75 scored jokes at 1.6 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with George Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Spanish Woman · George Michael: Dominarme. Cook... cook at... Cooking at you? Overpower me. Oh, yes, make me cry. You're a terrible mother.
George Michael · Maeby: Well, you know, in algebra, you have an unknown element, and, uh, we call it 'X,' and then you have to solve for it to find out what number 'X' is. 'X' isn't a number.
George Sr.: Mother of (bleep)! We should put these in cribs.
George Sr. Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Narrator: But in that moment, the urge to educate her was more powerful than the urge to kiss her.
Narrator: And he found himself suddenly and effortlessly tapping into a long-inbred instinct for lying. A Bluth taking his first steps in deceit.
Narrator Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 75 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ George Michael: Carlos was just... tickling me.
Terry · Carlos: You're dead, man, you are so dead. That was the last root beer snow cone.
George Michael · Carlos: You know my name! What's his name? You're the kiss-ass, Carlos. What's his name?
George Michael: I barely know their names. I mean, I know Carlos, but... only because of that old song 'Carlos the Tickle Monster.'
Rebel · George Michael: Wait, what song is that? Oh, god, I knew he made that up.
George Michael · Band members: And... that's where the song should've ended. So I guess we all got a little carried away. Are you sure? We all ended at the same time.
George Michael · Band members: George Michael's wood block band ending at the same time because 'you all sped up together' - his superiority about his 'amazing internal clock'
George Michael: But this is about my demo tape to Juilliard and they've got to dig what I do so much that they start an entire department for wood block.
George Michael: I mean, the whole point of the band is to showcase my amazing internal clock. You know, that's something you have to be born with. Or bred with.
Baby George Michael · Tracey · Lucille: BabyTock promotional video where George Michael appears as a test baby
George Sr.: And if I were a doctor, I would guarantee you that it would also boost their brain power 110%.
Interviewer: That's a lot of brain power.
Tracey · Lucille: Uh, well, that's impossible... To deny.
George Sr.: So we're stuck with 5,000 of these worthless corn-ballers?
George Sr.: Perfect for those who like the sound of a clock, but don't know their numbers.
George Sr.: Mother of (bleep)! We should put these in cribs.
George Sr. Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback George Sr.: That's not a half puny thought.
P-Hound: Hitting a block of wood.
P-Hound Deadpan/Understatement Observational George Michael: Before the world cracked me open and I became the guy that you're looking at now. George Michael 2.0. God, I hate my name.
Michael: Rip it up... right down the center. That's it. Rip it. Couple more. Did you get it? Proud of you.
Michael Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch George Michael: N... no. No, no. (laughs): What?
George Michael: Let's make it a... Pepsi. Drinking Pepsi in the morning.
George Michael · Others: Oh, excuse me, I forgot it wasn't morning. (laughing): I forgot it wasn't morning.
George Michael: And that's what we call only being behind by three.
Ray · George Michael: You guys broke up. Oh, thanks, Ray, I almost forgot.
George Michael: Is that... ? Okay, I guess it's not, uh, not gonna be a person.
George Michael · Researcher: And C? I think one on C. M? M? Oh, one on... M? One for sure on... one. And Z? One.
Spanish Woman · George Michael: You make love like a boy. Spanish, speak to me in Spanish. Because the only way that college credit is actually activated is if I have...
Spanish Woman · George Michael: Dominarme. Cook... cook at... Cooking at you? Overpower me. Oh, yes, make me cry. You're a terrible mother.
George Michael: It gets better.
George Michael · Narrator: I sort of feel like a king returning to his castle. Only to discover that they thought he was two kings. Double castle.
Roommates: Can't wait to meet Michael, George.
Michael: Otherwise, they're gonna think you're a musician, huh?
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy George Michael: That sounds like a mother of an invention.
George Michael: Well, these are a (bleep) joke. Where are the mallet options? There's no choice of wood weight or grain type. There's no diameter hole option. I mean, what is this, BabyTock?
George Michael: You know, the sharp metal box that you put in the crib. Is that not a well-known... ?
George Michael · P-Hound: Block-block? No. People are going to think we're in the chicken-noise business. How is that a chicken noise? You know... well, it's kind of hard to do in these matador pants, but, you know... Block-bl...
George Michael: It's $5,000 for the domain name, and then there's this whole XML Web site fee. I got the last one. That was 99 cents. Times three.
Tutor coordinator: Oh, it's her last name. But her most recent grade is... well, this just shows an Elvis Presley head.
Tutor coordinator · George Michael: So, that bad? I'll take her. Stay on top of her. You may need to ride her pretty hard.
P-Hound · George Michael: Was she your first? Cousin? No. Why would you... why would your mind go right to... ? No.
George Michael: Overtly sexual. Right. As I live and breathe. Crazy.
Narrator: But for the phrase, 'as I live and breathe,' he nailed it.
Narrator Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm Callback Maeby: Well, don't forget... I'm a Harris. Harris? Yeah. Someone who 'inharris' a lot of money.
Maeby Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy George Michael: Yeah, well, you know, I wouldn't put all my Anns in that basket.
Maeby: You've never been a risk taker. I like to (bleep) with people. That's what I do. I'm making a statement.
Maeby Character Comedy Setup/Punchline George Michael: I made a 40-year-old woman cry in Spain.
George Michael · Maeby: Well, you know, in algebra, you have an unknown element, and, uh, we call it 'X,' and then you have to solve for it to find out what number 'X' is. 'X' isn't a number.
Narrator: But in that moment, the urge to educate her was more powerful than the urge to kiss her.
Maeby · George Michael: Yeah, let's get wasted. Let's drink that formula. It's not that kind of formula.
Narrator: He had not responded now for 41 seconds, according to his unfailing internal clock, and it was time to come clean.
Narrator Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Narrator: And he found himself suddenly and effortlessly tapping into a long-inbred instinct for lying. A Bluth taking his first steps in deceit.
Narrator Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback George Michael: Ay, dios mio.
George Michael: No, he wouldn't. He... I... I was just leaning back, so it looked like I... I got this chair again, didn't I?
George Michael · P-Hound: That was fun. Did he look betrayed to you? He kind of always looks that way.
Maeby · George Michael: Well, I'm getting a lifetime achievement award at this gala. Well, you might want to get that out of the way, too, I guess.
Maeby: Because I can't bring any of my friends without getting permission slips from their parents.
Maeby Absurdist Irony/Sarcasm George Michael · Maeby: Oh, he's nobody. Oh. It's Justin. That's David Henrie. He's Justin from Wizards of Waverly Place. Hmm. It's on a lot in Spain.
George Michael · Hotel clerk: Buenas noches, pequeño Scarlet. I will be needing a room, please. How many nights? Two. Sorry. No, just one night. I thought you were saying how many people.
George Michael · Hotel clerk: One bed, one night, two people, let's solve for 'X.' I hate young Hollywood.
George Michael: So funny that didn't come up in the car.
Schnoodle executive: That geek Maharis destroyed the whole thing. And you know why? Just because he could. Those Internet geniuses... that's what they do. I'm ruined. I'll probably never get to drive the Schnoodle car.
George Michael · P-Hound: You know, it's like the time that you told that girl that you were George Takei's son. Well, it's too late. This thing's taking off.
P-Hound · George Michael: Well, you may have put in the most money to Fakeblock, but I put in the first three dollars, so that makes you a hop-on. No, you're the hop-on, Paul, and I know exactly who you're trying to hop on to. Maeby. Maeby.
Maeby · George Michael: I trust you, George Michael. I would not get into bed with you on this thing if I didn't trust you. No. Yeah, of... of course you can trust me in bed.
Maeby · George Michael: We'd just lie there? I mean, I'm talking about business. So am I. That's why we would just lie there.
Maeby · Narrator: when you become an Internet billionaire, you could do whatever you want with me in bed. It was that. That's what made him change his mind.
George Michael · Gob: That was literally the first thing I asked you. So you're giving me these crazy... Mad?
Andy Richter: It's my stupid brother! He looks just like me. I'll just go up, I'll find him, I'll... Oh, come on.
George Michael: Well, you know, I, uh... I prefer a woman who aims higher.
Rebel: Just remind me not to go in the men's room!
Michael: Bet you 500 bucks they find a dead kid behind the stick. You know, or maybe on the dead dad's lap whose only fault was loving that kid too much and letting him fly the plane.
Michael: Well, you know, a month ago, I would have told you that he and I were exactly the same, that we were twins. But now, I wouldn't even think of my son as my brother.
Michael Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch P-Hound · Lawyer: It was 99 cents. Times three. Times three.
Lawyer Callback Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — Arrested Development
