Artificial Fruit

Larry · Chulu:A spite-store. Right.

Chulu:Nasty motherfucker.

Larry:Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good.

Larry:Side-sitting. Can't believe what it did to me.

Larry:There's no other way to eat an apple but blithely.

Lawyer:My dad ate angry apples all the time.

Larry:I've never heard anybody using real fruit as for decoration purposes.

Lawyer:Those aren't even apples for eating anyway. They're decorative.

Larry:You have fruit that's not for eating. You have garbage not for garbage. And you have a bathroom that nobody can use.

Jeff:It's artificial fruit.

Larry:They didn't make them like that in the old days. This is a whole new technology.

Larry:You don't? Who cares what you like? You have such pedestrian taste anyway.

Larry:It's like looking at confederate war monument. It's a history that's very hurtful for me.

Susie:It's like a buttermilk biscuit without the butter in it.

Larry:It's like a fireplace cardigan is what it is.

Richard:We throw our trash in the pantry.

Richard:Who needs all this shit when you're eating a snack?

Richard:Castilian, it's a dialect of Spanish. And they pronounce their z's as th's.

Richard:Fuck you, I'm paying and I'll see you tomorrow! You fucking idiot!

Server:Concepción Zarzal

Server:By the way, your friend Ted Danson came yesterday with a very attractive blonde. Cheryl!

Francisco:Can we talk about this another time, please?

Francisco:Seriously?

Larry · Richard:Just give me that! Give it! Give it! Give it!

Larry:It's like you're saying roast beef is chicken. Roast beef is not chicken.

Larry:That motherfucker!

Jeff:Oh, my tongue! I can't believe you did that like that!

Leon:You know how many times I put milk and Mountain Dew together? And I mean, I could have my own, my own fucking drink, Leon Black.

Leon:You motherfuckers will accept all kind of stupid shit in your mouth. Escargots and fucking wheatgrass.

Leon:Touché, motherfucker.

Leon:What the fuck? That's artificial fruit!

Leon:Don't put the thing on the table in the fucking kitchen! What the fuck I'm supposed to do with it?

Richard:You are like a president in the 18th century on the back of a train, saying, 'And there will always be toast with eggs! And two turkeys in every garage!'

Server:Francisco's not here. He's mourning the death of his aunt, Concepción Zarzal.

Larry:I think you can introduce me sort of as a renaissance man. You know, a guy who speaks six languages.

Larry:No, I only speak one language. Yeah. I know a little bit of Yiddish.

Larry:Well, how else do you impress them?

Larry:Can you donate a penis to a person who's transitioning?

Larry:Could a white transitioner get a black penis?

Cassie:It could be a rollercoaster. It could be a shoe. It could be a large intestine. You gotta think a little bit!

Larry:It's what you find in a large intestine. It's a piece of shit.

Christine:It smacks of kind of a white male privilege. You know, that you don't have to put any effort into anything.

Larry:No, she has a cold!

Lawyer:What the fuck? Oh, my god!

Larry:Francisco Zarzal!

Francisco:It's not Tharthal, it's Zarzal.

Larry:Don't throw me in the garbage can!

Larry:She was really attractive.

Alice:So dry. I can't breathe.

Larry:What? Oh, my god. You want the Heimlich?