Irasshaimase

Larry · Jeff:Jeff's non-response when asked if Larry talked during the putt, followed by Larry's 'That's everything! He just said everything!'

Larry:Larry quotes Dante about the hottest places in hell being for those who retain neutrality in times of crisis - over a golf putt

Jeff · unnamed golfer:The revelation that Hal slept with his mother-in-law, delivered as club gossip

Larry · Jeff:Larry's direct question: 'Did you fuck your mother-in-law at any point? 'Cause I ain't setting you up if you did.'

Larry:Did you fuck your mother-in-law at any point? 'Cause I ain't setting you up if you did.

Larry · Saul · Hal:The heart attack scene with Larry coaching: 'Squeeze as hard as hard as you can! Okay...' followed by awkward singing

Jeff:Jeff's comment about T-shirt exposure: 'You can't have more than three-quarters of an inch of T-shirt showing.'

Freddy · Larry:Freddy burning himself and Larry's response: 'Oh, Jesus. I just burned the shit out of my hand.' 'What? Oh, jeez.' 'Because I just found something pretty hot.'

Larry · hostess:Larry's confusion about the weather: 'I thought it was gonna rain. What happened?' 'They said rain.' 'I'm not crazy.'

Restaurant Host:Ohitorisama goraiten desu! Irasshaimase!

Larry · restaurant staff:The enthusiastic 'Irasshaimase!' greeting and Larry's reaction: 'Oh! Well. Thank you, thank you. I love that greeting.'

Gabby:Gabby's claim: 'Oh, yeah. I speak six languages, including Guamish. That's what they speak in Guam.'

Chef · Larry · Gabby:The chef's correction: 'Could you please not say "irasshaimase"?' followed by the explanation about sushi chefs vs. guests

Larry:Larry's indignant response: 'I have been here 100 times. I've never been reprimanded by the host.'

Larry:Alas, no.

Gabby · Larry:Jeff's dating advice about Larry: 'Worst thing that happens, it doesn't work out, he's a great person to break up with.'

Larry:Larry's breakup process: 'All you gotta do is say, "Hey, I don't wanna see you anymore." And I go, "Ah! Okay." Not another thought.'

Gabby · Larry:Gabby's assessment: 'That's almost, um... like a sociopath, but... borderline.' Larry: 'You know what? That's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me.'

Gabby:Gabby's secret: 'When I was younger, I was a teacher in high school... and I slept with one of my students.'

Larry:Larry's follow-up questions: 'Did you go to the prom?' 'Did you go to the games? Did he give you a little wink when he was playing?'

Larry:Larry's big secret: 'I have a fantastic shortcut to the valley.'

Gabby:Gabby's reaction: 'I told you... that I slept with a student. Your secret is Waze.'

Larry:Larry's defense: 'My secret improves your quality of life. Your secret's just interesting.'

Larry · Gabby:Larry wanting to write down the shortcut and Gabby's refusal: 'You lose it, somebody finds it. No good.'

Larry · Jeff:Larry's inability to keep Gabby's secret, immediately telling Jeff she 'fucked one of her students'

Larry · Jeff:Larry's defense: 'I didn't directly tell him, I indirectly...' 'But you did!'

Larry · Jeff:The discussion about which high school teachers were attractive, ending with 'Miss Rogers was not the cause of any tumescence among the young men in my school'

Larry:Description of Miss Rogers: 'She was on death's door. Veins popping out all over her body.'

Leon:Every time I had a tummy ache, I tapped that ass.

Larry:Larry's polite dismissal: 'Thank you... Thank you for your contribution. He's got a wild imagination.'

Jeff:Jeff's logic: 'If I tell you the shortcut, then it's no longer a shortcut.'

Larry · Freddy:The shirt stain revelation and Larry's description: 'Looks like you were a part of a home birth or something.'

Larry · Freddy:Larry's revelation: 'I didn't know soap stains.' Freddy: 'Soap stains.' Larry: 'Who makes a cleaning product that stains? That's like a Band-Aid that cuts!'

Larry:How do you even do it? Do you get on your knees? Do you put your hands together?

Larry:Larry putting himself in God's shoes: 'Oh, there's the son! Oh, the son's praying! Eh... I need more than that... Oh! Oh, there... Ah, Larry David! Oh! Okay, I'll save him!'

Larry:Larry's proof that prayers don't work: 'Because I'm bald.'

Hal:Hal's cryptic warning: 'What goes around comes around.'

Larry · Freddy:The question of lending favorite items: 'Why would you loan me your favorite shirt?' 'Because I'm a friend, and you were uncomfortable going on the date.' 'Still, you don't give out your favorite shirt. Everybody knows that.'

Freddy · Larry:Freddy's biblical justice demand: 'I think the thing that would... Would mean something to me would be you actually... giving me your favorite shirt.' Larry: 'That's really biblical, real eye-for-eye stuff.'

Larry · Freddy:Larry's refusal and Freddy's counter: 'You're not getting my blue and gray two-tone, okay? You don't give up a two-tone. That's my favorite shirt.'

Mr. Takahashi:That's because when you say it, it sound redneck.

Mr. Takahashi:Mr. Takahashi's pronunciation critique: 'That's because when you say it, it sound redneck.' 'You know terrible? That's you.'

Mr. Takahashi:Only plastic surgeon here.

Larry · Mr. Takahashi:The observation about the country club: 'It's interesting because you would think that having a heart attack at a country club like this, there'd be doctors around.' 'Only plastic surgeon here.'

Larry · Restaurant manager:The umbrella standoff: 'Should I return it to you or Dallas Omni Hotel?' followed by the escalating argument about ownership and honor

Larry · Restaurant manager:The honor battle: 'No, it's my honor!' 'My honor!' escalating to 'My honor! I want that umbrella! That's my umbrella!'

Restaurant manager:The manager's comeback: 'A bald man steal umbrella! Yes, let's report!'

Larry:Larry's final irasshaimase rant: 'I'll irasshaimase any time I want! I like irasshaimaseing! It's very welcoming! It feels very good to irasshaimase, and I'll continue to irasshaimase!'

Larry:Larry's defense: 'I was here literally, but not figuratively.'

Cheryl:Cheryl's comeback: 'Oh! No shit, Sherlock! Just get the fucking dress, okay?'

Larry:Larry's traffic philosophy: 'I'm too smart. I'm not like these people. You have to have done something stupid to be in traffic. I don't belong here.'

Freddy:Freddy's funeral speech calling out Larry: 'Larry David, uh, couldn't make it here today. He got stuck in traffic, and he turned around and went home.'

Freddy:The shirt metaphor in the eulogy: 'Saul was the kind of guy that would give you the shirt off his back, even if it was his favorite one... And if he was the one to stain that shirt? Guess what. He would've given you his favorite shirt back.'

Freddy:He would've given you his favorite shirt back.

Larry · Jeff:Larry's deduction about Gabby and Hal: 'She must've asked for a secret on their date... then told everybody about the mother-in-law.'

Larry:She must've asked for a secret on their date... then told everybody about the mother-in-law.

Larry · Mr. Takahashi:Larry's umbrella defense: 'It holds up in gale-force winds. It never goes inside out. It's the best umbrella I ever had.' 'No umbrella like that.' 'This umbrella is like that.'

Larry · Mr. Takahashi:Larry's tuxedo philosophy: 'It's not the dressing up part that's disturbing to me, it's where you go after you're dressed up... Like, if I just sat in the house with a tuxedo on, that would be okay.'

Larry · Gabby:Larry's conditional romance: 'You know what? Even though... you gabbed and gave away a precious secret... I'm still considering having sex with you. I'm not taking it off the table.'

Restaurant staff:The final restaurant reveal: 'He steal umbrella from Dallas Omni Hotel! She slept with student! He ask her to prom! He was captain of basketball team! She blew him in car!'

Larry:The final shot of Larry's umbrella in the trash with 'Dallas Omni Hotel' visible