Larry returns to Atlanta, where he gets involved in Richard's love life and reveals a secret about Cheryl.
WAR
78.1
Wins Above Replacement
“No Lessons Learned” ranks #74 of 120 Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.0 — Elite. The episode packs 73 scored jokes at 1.1 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 7.1 on impact, with Larry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Larry · Jerry: This is how we should've ended the finale. Oh, my God, you're right. How did we not think of that?
Larry Jerry Meta/Self-Referential Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: I'm 76 years old and I have never learned a lesson in my entire life.
Larry Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Leon: You need extra dicks. Like you got your own dick, but then you gotta have a backup dick. A dick should be interchangeable. Yeah. Like a pair of glasses.
Leon Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Leon: He'll come in the courtroom in a wheelchair. And he rolls in there slow and fucking shaking and shit. Everybody's like, 'Oh, my God. That poor man.' The judge is touched. The bailiff is touched. Sketch artist is fucking bawling so bad that the sketch is blurry.
Leon Character Comedy Escalation Cynthia · Larry: Have you ever known love, Larry? Have you ever known the loss of a great love? Oh, I've known love and I've known loss. 2004, Yankees lost the last four games to the hated Red Sox.
All Jokes — 73 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Larry: Just more government interference. Next thing you know, they won't let me have an abortion on the plane.
Larry · Leon: I'm not really interested in your opinion. I don't consider you a person.
Larry Leon Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Larry: Because I'd like to know if there's a squealer on this plane. I'd like to know who it is. I'm not comfortable flying with a squealer.
Larry Character Comedy Escalation Flight Attendant · Larry: Sir, you're not comfortable with a squealer yet you're asking me to squeal? That's a different kind of squealing.
Leon · Larry: Why would I draw attention when I got my own fucking phone on? His phone's on? Check it out.
Leon: You never told me it was a show about weekly ass. Jerry just constantly got ass every week. This ain't a fucking TV show. This is more of a fuck documentary.
Leon Observational Character Comedy Leon: You need extra dicks. Like you got your own dick, but then you gotta have a backup dick. A dick should be interchangeable. Yeah. Like a pair of glasses.
Leon Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Leon: Oh, I'mma take my other dick out my back pocket.
Leon Physical/Slapstick Callback Callback Larry · Leon: We're trying to get in! She's speeding up! We wanna get off the highway! Are you kidding me? What is with this woman? Won't let us in!
Hotel Employee: Most popular White man in America right now. You don't have to buy a pack of Kools for the rest of your life.
Larry: I'm 76 years old and I have never learned a lesson in my entire life.
Larry Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Mother: That's who we don't wanna be like, okay? Come on. Let's go.
Mother Reaction Beat Irony/Sarcasm Larry · Jeff · Susie · Richard: We don't wanna hear that. Why can't you-- 'Cause it's a picture of you, uh... No, no! You don't have to picture me. Picture her!
Larry: I'd rather picture my parents naked than you naked.
Larry Escalation Character Comedy Larry · Richard: You think you're suicide material? Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.
Larry · Cynthia: What-- I don't think I-- Doesn't sound like me. Do you have a blue Mercedes? I do. But it wasn't me. I wasn't even on I-85 today.
Cheryl · Larry: Don't say it in front of people. I told you that in confidence. It is. Telling people what sexual positions you like, that would be personal.
Larry: When I was 19 years old, I was in a bar. I had a drink. And I looked at the bartender and I said to him, 'Hey, Captain, I'll have another,' and he gave me like the dirtiest look. And I've never called anybody captain since.
Larry Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Leon: Not captain, but I did call a motherfucker chief, and then realized he was a real Indian and shit.
Leon Character Comedy Callback Callback Auntie Rae: Well, you know, baby, I'm glad you're enjoying it, but that's one recipe that they can't pull out of me. Even for you, baby, I don't do. Mic drop!
Prosecutor · Larry: Who here could see themselves stealing a loaf of bread in order to feed a hungry stranger? I ask they're all dismissed for cause.
Larry: That guy's got a string tie him. Let's get rid of him. No liberal would be caught dead in a string tie.
Larry Observational Character Comedy Larry: You see that comb over? He's a self-loathing bald man! He hates himself and he hates other bald men.
Larry Character Comedy Observational Larry: I don't think I could take it, you know? And I'll bet a lot of them cheat on it too. There's probably a bad sequesterer among them.
Larry Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Cynthia · Larry: Have you ever known love, Larry? Have you ever known the loss of a great love? Oh, I've known love and I've known loss. 2004, Yankees lost the last four games to the hated Red Sox.
Larry: When Messier lofted that trophy, I thought my heart was gonna burst.
Larry Callback Character Comedy Callback Larry · Cynthia: How did you do it? I think you're the first person who has ever asked me that question, Larry. So inappropriate.
Cynthia · Larry: Pills, okay? What kind of pills? Pink pills. Are you sure? Yeah, I'm sure.
Richard · Larry: The woman tried to hang herself. Oh, she did? Well, isn't that curious. 'Cause she told me she took pills.
Richard Larry Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Richard: What are you gonna adopt, a 40-year-old? Yeah. A doctor. A doctor? A doctor or a lawyer.
Larry · Ted: Yeah. You're stealing the spotlight. By the way, why are you telling everybody that Cheryl doesn't like Mexican food?
Larry Ted Callback Character Comedy Callback Larry: No coasters. They want you to respect the law, but the law doesn't respect wood. You see the irony there?
Larry Observational Irony/Sarcasm Leon: Larry, you fucked! Shut the fuck up. This motherfucker's good.
Leon Reaction Beat Character Comedy Defense Attorney · Larry: Would you convict Jesus? I think we all know the answer to that. And if you wouldn't convict Jesus... Ha! ...then you can't convict Larry.
Larry: That's not Joe Boccabella. That's Mocha Joe.
Larry Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: Joey Funkhouser started that fire with his big new penis.
Larry Callback Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Matsue: The swan attacked me! It was kill or be killed. You're a murderer. Murderer! It was self-defense.
Larry: Trump, Putin, and Larry David? That's an unusual combination.
Larry Reaction Beat Observational Jeff: My name is Journey Gunderson. My wife is in the hospital because of the dressing on your salad.
Jeff Character Comedy Escalation Callback Larry · Jeff · Auntie Rae: Ah! Journey! The doctors need to know the specific ingredients. Journey! I'm sorry. Mr. McGunderman, is that your wife? That was Karen Gunderson. She's all catawampus.
Auntie Rae · Larry: What the heck is wampus, Mr. Gurney Manunderson? Hang in there. Uh, Karen Gunderson, honey, me and your husband, Gurney Germerny, we gon' get you better, baby.
Leon: This goddamn Kramer, man, he's too much, man. Walk into your fucking house unannounced and shit. You might as well take off the fucking door and put a fucking saloon door on that bitch.
Leon Observational Character Comedy Leon: He'll come in the courtroom in a wheelchair. And he rolls in there slow and fucking shaking and shit. Everybody's like, 'Oh, my God. That poor man.' The judge is touched. The bailiff is touched. Sketch artist is fucking bawling so bad that the sketch is blurry.
Leon Character Comedy Escalation Leon: Have you ever had sex with a woman in a wheelchair? 'Cause I have. Have you ever tapped some ass on crutches? You ever crutch fuck? That's like fucking an animal 'cause the crutches are an extra set of legs.
Leon Dark/Subversive Escalation Larry: Oh, you're here. What is going on? Honey. You came. Look, look, look, look. Honey's here.
Larry Physical/Slapstick Cringe/Discomfort Callback Larry: She got hit by a bus a few months ago and she was lying on the ground, I rushed over. I gave her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. And I carried her to my car. Not that easy.
Larry Escalation Cringe/Discomfort Callback Rachel · Larry: Somebody's gonna have to jump. What, are you fucking nuts? And so I was forced... ...to jump 45 feet. I broke both my knees, my ankles.
Witness · Court: Larry David pissed on a portrait of Jesus Christ in my home. What? He tinkled on it. He sprayed Jesus.
Witness: Larry David is a sad senior with long balls and mental issues.
Witness Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Young Tara: Mommy! Mommy! That bald man's in the bathroom and there's something hard in his pants.
Young Tara Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Auntie Rae: Well, his wife did. Long enough for him to use the N-word around me. He did that shit. And long enough for him to hug me and have a hard-on, an erection that he was rubbing all up against me.
Auntie Rae: You sons of bitches. It was you! I know it was you, Bernie Bonderman, and you, Karen Bonderman, trying to steal my recipe. Fuck you, Larry David.
Larry · Court: She's walking! It's a miracle. It's just a miracle. How did she do it? I can't even believe it. Walking. Oh. Oh.
Larry · Ted: Suppose you're friends with someone who's in the circus. He knows the bearded lady very well. You go to the bearded lady's apartment. It's a normal apartment. Nothing freakish. No, nothing freakish at all.
Larry · Ted: Clean-shaven bearded lady. She's quitting the circus. She's got a big crush on you. She'd love to go out with you. She's gonna start shaving. But at the party when we're there... she's got the beard on. Rabbinical? Very rabbinical.
Larry · Ted: What's the worst that could happen? The worst that could happen is it's a paper napkin... ...and she wipes her mouth, and, uh, there's some-- part of it snags. What if I happen to be home at 4:30? Guess who's on the ledge.
Larry: Even I was sweating, and let me tell you something, I don't sweat, it's the craziest thing. Like I could be playing basketball in the summer, I won't sweat. You know, occasionally for some reason, I'll sweat during intercourse sometimes, which is odd.
Larry · Prosecutor: It was my 5-wood. You pried the club out of a dead man's hand? Okay. So you know when you get attached to a club, you don't wanna give it up even if it's in a coffin? Well, that was that 5-wood for me.
Larry · Prosecutor: 'Devoted sister, beloved cunt.' Huh? It's a typo. Don't you see? It's a typo. The fact is... ...I've heard that she actually was a bit of a cunt. But that's still no excuse to put that in a newspaper.
Leon · Jeff: So... my question is, where the fuck are the tapes at? Tapes? Larr-- The tapes. Larry won't give that shit up. The tapes. What tapes? The fuck tapes.
Larry · Leon: Yeah. Yeah. But they're on laser disc. Oh! Do you have a player? Fuck me, man. Yeah, sorry. No way to convert that shit to something else? Yeah. No. That's a shame. It's 13 unbelievable hours.
Prosecutor · Larry · Children: There's a police report that exists stating that Larry David would not give candy to children on Halloween. I don't-- I don't think so. God, asshole! Fuck you. Thanks for nothing, asshole.
Prosecutor: He brought a sex offender to a Passover seder. He ate a dying dog's last meal. And he fornicated... ...with a blowup doll in broad daylight.
Prosecutor: And he pretended to be an incest survivor... named Todd.
Prosecutor Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Leon · Larry: All I got left is the fucking finale. Wow. Although, I heard some terrible things about it. I heard you fucked it up.
Leon Larry Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Jury · Larry · Supporters: We find the defendant guilty. What? Oh, come on. This is a travesty of justice. Come on.
Judge: And I truly hope this time you finally learned your lesson.
Judge Callback Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Fellow Prisoner: That happens to me too. What do you call that? It's a pants tent. Pants tent. Yeah. I got a five-inch bunch up here.
Jerry · Larry: You know that Mexican restaurant near the hotel? I go there to get something to eat. I don't even like Mexican food. That's okay. I won't tell anybody. What do I care? Well, some people care. Really? Yeah.
Jerry · Larry: He's not supposed to be in a Mexican restaurant because he's under sequester. He broke his sequester? Broke his sequester. He's supposed to sequester. He's a bad sequesterer.
Larry · Jerry: This is how we should've ended the finale. Oh, my God, you're right. How did we not think of that?
Larry Jerry Meta/Self-Referential Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Cheryl · Larry · Leon: Well, I need it to read. I need-- Why don't you use the overhead light? Just let her keep the shade up. I'm trying to watch a movie, all I see is glare. It's like I'm watching a fucking radio right now.
Leon · Larry · Jeff: Go fuck yourself, Larr. We'll take a vote. Go back to fucking jail, Larry. I vote with them. It's not your window.
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