Fish Stuck

Larry · Christopher:So, I needed a new lawyer, and Susie was going on and on about what a great lawyer you are. And then, the coup de grâce, she told me your last name. - Oh. - Mantle. Christopher Mantle.

Larry:I mean, Mickey Mantle, he was my idol growing up. I don't follow baseball, but I know who Mickey Mantle is.

Larry · Christopher:We're both being dragged. - Look at that.

Larry · Christopher:Mr. Mantle. - Yeah. All... You... You just hit a home run. - You know? - That's fantastic.

Larry · Christopher:She took an IQ test? - I mean, you don't wanna get a moron, right?

Larry:You're going with Zeckelman over Mantle?

Larry · Christopher:I don't know any Zeckelmans who hit 536 home runs. - Yet.

Freddy:Tinkerbell flies her little ass in there. She put her little booty out, with that little booty tooch. And bling!

Larry:It speaks of a very unusual perversion. A man attracted to a thimble-sized fairy.

Freddy:I'll put her in my motherfucking pocket. You hear me? And I'll just walk around knowing she home.

Larry · Waiter:Fish stuck. - Fish sick. - Fish stuck. - Fish sick.

Larry · Waiter:Fish don't sneeze. - No, fish sneeze.

Freddy:At least that motherfucker can't drown.

Larry:Tell ya what, you alcoholics, you know your way around a good donut.

Cyrus:You know, a lot of people find it funny, but he works so blue. I heard the word 'hell' like... Three times.

Richard Lewis · Cyrus:What the hell are you doing, man? Hell away from me. - He hates being hugged.

Larry David:There's no touching here. No touching.

Larry:I thought you were supposed to share here. It sounds like you're doing stand-up.

Richard Lewis:Well, there was a sad old lady who opened for me, but she only did ten minutes.

Larry:The only problem is you're doing your act, but nobody's drinking. Imagine if they were drinking. The roof would be blown off.

Richard Lewis · Larry:The AA special. This is the hook I've been looking for. Why not talk about being sober but get a special with HBO?

Larry:First of all, I hate asking for favors almost as much as I hate doing favors.

Freddy:Where did you find her? Point to the planet. There's no more. There's no more of 'em.

Larry:I assume it's your semen, right? 'Cause that's how you got Zeckelman?

Larry:Zeckelman needs a cool first name!

Christopher · Larry:Doc Zeckelman is a joke. - Ace. - Ace Zeckelman? That's not a great name?

Larry David:Dewey, Duncan, Deegan. Deegan. After the Major Deegan Expressway.

Unknown:The fuck?

Larry:This is a shanda.

Larry David:There's nothing in the Old Testament about defamatory bricks? You think if Isaac chiseled something defamatory about Jedediah, you think it wouldn't be taken down?

Larry David:You're joining the team? Are you prepared to complain a lot?

Christopher:Can't deal with the alternative.

Christopher · Larry:I gotta schmeitz. - You what? - Schmeitz. - What's that one? - Gotta go. - That's a new one to me.

Jenna:I'm a greeter, and I talk to the guests. I put on a costume, like, a princess, like. Snow White or Elsa or Ariel or Lilo or Stitch. My favorite is Mickey's favorite. Minnie Mouse.

Freddy:Oh, boy.

Larry · Freddy:I'm so superficial, I'd probably break up. - You would? Right away? - Yeah. I'm not gonna date Minnie Mouse.

Freddy:Oh, yeah, I'm gonna listen to the notes from Minnie Mouse!

Jenna:Oh, my God, oh, my God. We're coming out with a new line of Little Mermaid sleepwear, and I get a discount, so if you text me your sizes, I can hook you up.

Jenna · Dana:Jenna giving detailed, helpful script notes despite her actual job

Freddy:It's the 'I like it' gambit. All you gotta do is compliment people on what the fuck they're wearing, next thing you know, they gonna give you one.

Larry · Cheryl:Larry David is disrespectful to women. Come on, Cheryl. I love women. Who loves women more than me? I love having sex with them.

Larry · Ted:You bought a brick, huh? - Yes. - What does your brick say, Ted? - Nothing. We left it blank.

Larry:All right, so just for argument's sake, is there anything nice you could say about me that's not on a brick?

Larry:Any woman who Larry David impregnated, he not only paid for the abortion, but accompanied her to the procedure.

Waiter:Fish sad, so we changed new location. Change of scenery make much happy fish. - So, you moved the fish? - Fish living best life in downtown.

Larry David · Restaurant Staff:Stuck, dead! Stuck, dead! - Sick, gone! Sick, gone!

Larry:I will not forget fish.

Larry · Freddy:Tell me you got something good. - Oh, I got the goods. Got something that's gonna get us out of this mess that we're both in.

Freddy:It's called, uh, Groat's disease. I have Groat's disease. It affects the nervous system and eventually I become incontinent, and you can't even sit.

Freddy · Irma:Freddy's fake Groat's disease performance with graphic symptoms

Freddy · Irma:And you'll have to hold my penis when I pee. - Ay, gevalt.

Freddy · Irma:You like it? Listen. Please, take it. Please, it's the least I can do. - Oh, please, no. - No, please. It's the least... - What? Really?

Freddy:Yeah! Gone!

Jenna · Dana:Larry fucking David. Those fucking pricks.