Larry tries to make better use of the time he spends in the bathroom. Susie starts a new business, and her advertising has unexpected results. Later, Larry gives acting advice to an A-list actress.
WAR
62.7
Wins Above Replacement
“The Gettysburg Address” ranks #28 of 120 Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 84.5 — Elite. The episode packs 49 scored jokes at 1.1 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 7.3 on impact, with Larry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Sienna: I have alopecia, you fucking asshole.
Sienna Misdirection Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Larry: I've been memorizing the Gettysburg Address every time I pee, and I'm conditioned to pee when I hear it... It's like a Pavlovian response.
Larry Callback Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Leon: Yeah! Fuck you, Shimon! That's five pounds of short ribs and ten pounds of fuck you!
Leon Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: Eighty-seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this property a new golf club dedicated to the proposition that men can have fun and women can't.
Larry Wordplay/Pun Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Leon · Larry: Leon's urination time-wasting theory leading to 'The Peeus' car concept
All Jokes — 49 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Leon: These fresh meatballs in here? Gotta get that corn on the cob. On the cob, off the cob, it don't matter. Y'all ain't playing around this motherfucker, huh?
Leon Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Leon · Larry: Leon's urination time-wasting theory leading to 'The Peeus' car concept
Leon: You know who's gonna be a billionaire? Motherfucker who's gonna, uh, create a car that runs on piss... The Peeus.
Leon Wordplay/Pun Absurdist ★ Rewatch Leon · Larry: Leon's pre-eating preparation: undoing pants and belt buckle
Leon Larry Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Shimon: Shimon's itemized accounting: 'Five pound short rib, ten pound prawns'
Shimon Escalation Observational ★ Rewatch Leon · Shimon: Oh, so you're the Wendy's of this motherfucker. I'm fucking Wendy. You want me to put on a little red wig and freckles?
Larry · Shimon: The escalating 'You stink!' exchange between Larry and Shimon
Shimon: Only person besides you, Gary Busey.
Shimon Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Leon: If this was a brothel, I'd be fucking pissed.
Leon Wordplay/Pun Observational ★ Rewatch Ted: She loves to play golf, and I was just hoping that maybe you could sponsor her at the club... Because of that whole college admissions scandal thing, no club will touch her.
Ted Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Ted · Larry: But you did the finale, right? - Yeah, Ted, I did the finale.
Ted Larry Meta/Self-Referential Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Susie Wordplay/Pun Visual Gag Jeff · Larry: Sienna Miller - She's going out with you? - Yeah! - That gorgeous woman?
Larry · Jeff: Larry's shocked reaction: 'She's going out with you?' and 'That gorgeous woman?'
Larry Jeff Reaction Beat Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: By the way, if you think you're getting any of my popcorn, you're gravely mistaken. Gravely.
Larry Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry · Sienna: I'm like Rachel and the rug merchants... It's a famous Old Testament Jewish parable... Call yourself a Jew?
Sienna: Did she have an affair with the rug merchant? What happened with her and the rug merchant?
Sienna Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Sienna · Larry: Sienna's increasingly specific questions about the rug merchant story
Larry: I notice you like to eat a lot of fruit in your movies... Is that part of your process? You take a bite, you act, you take another bite, you act.
Larry Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Theater Patron · Larry: Like you're giving me a lap dance, okay? - Oh, please. Everybody knows that a jacket goes on the back of the chair.
Theater Patron: I can't just go to the mall and fuck any woman I want.
Larry: Eighty-seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this property a new golf club dedicated to the proposition that men can have fun and women can't.
Larry Wordplay/Pun Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: Larry's parody conclusion: 'this exclusive club of specific people, by specific people, and for specific people shall have a new, specific member'
Larry Wordplay/Pun Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: And as much as that woman in Atlanta was thirsty for water, Lori Loughlin is equally thirsty for membership! I say we let her drink!
Larry Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: You know, people say that, and... and they don't really. They stop thanking. You'll... Probably won't thank me again after this.
Larry Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Susie · Jeff: There's a dick in my mouth? - In your mouth. - With balls? - A drawing. A drawing.
Susie Jeff Escalation Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Larry: You're cradling the balls.
Larry Escalation Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Larry: Why can't... why can't you give a blow job every now and then? Would that kill ya?
Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Larry · Shimon: Larry's argument about shame: 'Why is there gonna be shame on number six?'
Shimon: Shimon's final dismissal: 'Shalom, bitch!'
Shimon Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Israeli Man: Rachel. She looks at the rug merchants and says, 'You're banned, bitch!' Shalom!
Israeli jogger: The jogger's version: 'Rachel... looks at the rug merchants and says, "You're banned, bitch!" Shalom!'
Lori · Larry: Lori's Epstein-Barr excuse for handicapped parking
Lori Larry Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Golf Member: Isn't that a Jew disease?
Leon: Yeah! Fuck you, Shimon! That's five pounds of short ribs and ten pounds of fuck you!
Leon Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Susie · Larry: Susie's business boom revelation and Larry's 'post-penis bump' theory
Larry: You need a second dick... Dick up the ass... And how 'bout some jizz on ya?
Larry Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Larry Callback Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Sienna: Larry bringing a pear to solve Sienna's acting problems
Sienna · Larry: You know what else I tried to find was the word schmeitz, which... I couldn't find that either. - Schmeitz is a real word for 'I've got to go.' 'I got to schmeitz.'
Larry · Sienna: Larry's continued insistence on the fake 'schmeitz' word meaning 'I've got to go'
Sienna: I have alopecia, you fucking asshole.
Sienna Misdirection Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Larry: Don't schmeitz! Don't schmeitz!
Larry Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Golf Starter: I can think of 50 reasons.
Larry: Yeah, you had a good lie all right.
Larry Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Fan · Susie: On the count of three, turn your head to the right. One, two, three... Oh, yeah. And keep my wife's business out of your motherfucking mouth!
Fan Susie Wordplay/Pun Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Callback Chinese waiter · Larry: Coat argument continuation during Lincoln play: 'Coat long. And fish dead.'
Larry: I've been memorizing the Gettysburg Address every time I pee, and I'm conditioned to pee when I hear it... It's like a Pavlovian response.
Larry Callback Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: I didn't know she had alopecia!
Larry Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — Curb Your Enthusiasm