The Doll

Larry:In fact the series could be called Aren't you Evelyn? Or I'm Not Evelyn. Something like that.

Network executive · Larry:What's with you and the water? Doctor's orders. I'm dehydrated or something... and I've got to drink 8 of these a day. Constantly running to the bathroom.

Larry · Network executive:We split up. I'm living in a hotel. I'm sorry to hear that. Don't be! It's great.

Network executive:The only thing is that my older kid has a pinkeye, so.... I mean, it's not contagious, but....

Larry:What's the difference between Harriet Beecher Stowe... and Harriet Tubman?

Larry · Cheryl:I think we might be due for some sex tonight. You think? I do, yeah. Did you pencil that in and didn't tell me?

Larry:So, I'm gonna go in over there. I'm not here. I haven't seen you. Have not seen me.

Larry · Theater employee:Really? I got a condition. I really need to have this.

Larry:I mean, what if I have a really bad kidney thing? I'm not-- Maybe you should finish it outside. Yeah, maybe I should.

Larry:Is that the same woman who just told me to get rid of the water?

Larry:I don't see how it was your concern. You don't work here.

Larry:We're all dying of thirst. What are you, the hallway monitor here?

Woman · Larry:Who are you that the rules don't apply? I'm applying the golden rule. Are you?

Larry:But that doesn't supersede the golden rule. That's the big one.

Larry:Excuse me, Mrs. Cantor, we've got homework. You forgot to give us homework.

Larry David · Cheryl:She's talking to Anne Michaelson, Lane Michaelson's wife. -That's who she's talking to. -That's Lane Michaelson's wife?

Larry:We don't have plans, we don't wanna go to dinner with you.

Larry:I actually wanna go 'cause she showed a lot of cleavage for that time.

Larry · Cheryl:Cold! Chest freeze! Put your tongue to the top of your.... No, your tongue to the roof of your mouth.

Larry:I have to thank your producer, director... whoever, because they didn't reveal that much bosom in that day....

Larry · Little girl:Is that a bathroom? Yeah, why? Do you have to go potty?

Larry · Little girl:What's her name? Judy. 'Judy! Judy! Judy!'

Larry:It's called a Swiss Army Knife. You heard of Switzerland? It's a country in Europe, and they don't like to fight. They let everybody do their fighting for them... while they ski and eat chocolate.

Larry:You wanna give it a little, kind of, Dorothy Hamill thing?

Larry:Can I tell you something? It's a very French look. It's very French.

Larry · Jeff:There's no lock on that bathroom door. I know. That's crazy. That's your top priority in a house. In the bathroom.

Tara · Anne:Mommy, mommy! Look at my doll's hair. Why did you cut her hair? I didn't cut it! He did!

Anne · Tara · Larry:And did you happen to tell her that maybe it wouldn't grow back? He didn't tell her. I thought it was understood.

Anne:How could you not understand... that a little girl has a vivid imagination? She's extremely gifted.

Anne:You can replace it? This is like Liberty, the Beanie Baby. Out Of Production, OOP, okay? Not coming back.

Larry · Tara:I guess I missed a strand there. I got a Swiss Army-- It's ugly, mommy! Let me get it. I got a Swiss Army Knife. I could get that.

Larry · Jeff:Who doesn't know that when you cut a doll's hair... it doesn't grow back? She should know better.

Jeff:My daughter has a huge doll collection. Her room is filled with dolls. I think she might have that Judy doll.

Larry:Honestly, I have never been so humiliated in my life, really. I fucked up.

Larry · Cheryl:Like, imagine the worst moment a person can walk in on somebody. I got it. You think you're alone, and you're in the bathroom.

Jeff:Are you out of your mind? You wanna end the deal because of this?

Larry · Cheryl:Divorce? Is it a divorce? Yeah, it's a divorce. So start packing up 'cause you're moving out.

Cheryl:I wish you wouldn't talk anymore tonight. I wish you wouldn't say one more thing to me.

Jeff:Here we are in Doll World. So, there's dolls here, look at all these. You have no idea how much money I've spent on dolls.

Larry · Jeff:She looks Swiss. She looks like Judy. She looks Swiss? All right.

Larry · Jeff:'Suite: Judy Brown Eyes,' I said it in my head. You said, 'Suite: Judy Brown Eyes'? I know the song is Suite: Judy Blue Eyes... and she has brown eyes. It's brown eyes.

Larry:Some of these dolls are scary. A bunch of bald ones up here.

Jeff · Larry:Susie's here. Shit. Come on. Stick it in your jacket. It's too big. Where do I put it?

Susie:What the fuck are you doing here? You're supposed to call first!

Jeff:Listen, and I'll tell you. Sammy's shelf has been on my mind. I've always thought this shelf was loose.

Susie · Jeff · Larry:You put the shelves up.... I find that hard to believe. He knows a lot about shelving. I put them all up-- Mr. California Closets over here all of a sudden?

Susie:Fat fuck, trying to hide, like you're Mr. Inconspicuous.

Larry:Boy, that's starting to itch me down there.

Sammy:Mommy, somebody cut off Judy's head!

Larry:Where's her body? It didn't come with a body.

Larry:If she does, you should enroll her at some kind of school for gifted children.

Susie:I know you took the doll's head. Where is it?

Susie:The kid is home hysterical... because her doll, Judy, has been decapitated... 'cause you 2 sickos... took the head for God knows what reason... some voodoo shit you're doing. Where is it?

Susie:Stop scratching your balls and tell me where it is! Just get me the fucking head, all right? Both of you, 'cause I've had it, you four-eyed fuck and you fat piece of shit!

Larry:Maybe she's got the short-haired version. We can get the short-haired Judy back.

Jeff:You put that doll head down there... and who knows what the hair is made out of? You've got an allergic reaction, I'm telling you.

Larry:I have to go to the doctor now? That's gonna be a lot of fun. 'Where did you get the rash?' 'I stuck a doll's head down my pants, Doctor. It feels good to me.'

Anne:Why would you want that short-haired Judy head?

Larry:I just like it, you know.

Larry:The short-hair, it's very becoming I think, you know?

Susie · Jeff:Something's not right here. This is not the head. There's something wrong. Sure, it's the head, that's the head.

Larry · Jeff:Is your assistant going out with anybody? You're not going out with my assistant, okay?

Network executive:Honestly, I can't even look at that guy now. It makes me sick to my stomach.

Larry · Cheryl:It's an olfactory nightmare in that men's room. Is anybody in here? Coast is clear. Great, 2 minutes.

Tara:Mommy, that bum is in the bathroom and there's something hard in his pants!