The Bowtie

Larry David:Maybe he said, "you're a doctor". I don't know. But why would he say I'm a doctor? I would know if I'm a doctor.

Larry David:What about... calling some bingo games or something? You got, like, a community center for bingo?

Larry David:Don't underestimate bingo.

Larry:"I've got extra sneakers that I don't wear anymore - in pretty good condition, I must say."

Larry David:Love the bow-tie.

Larry David:But honestly, I haven't seen a handicapped person in the bathroom, maybe ever.

Larry David:Well, that doesn't sound so hot.

Larry David:I think I would prefer handicapped.

Disabled man:Douche-bag.

Larry David:Do black men who aren't muslims ever wear bow-ties?

Man with stutter:F-f-fuck you! I have a s-s-s-stutter!

Larry David:Yeah, but you can walk.

Jeff · Larry:"Oh hey... we got a dog." "Really? Why?" "She wanted a dog."

Larry · Jodi · Larry:"Are those new glasses?" "No, but I cleaned them." "You're so funny!"

Larry David:Oh, lesbians love me. They love me.

Larry David:More so than any other community. Including jews.

Larry:"The men's room key from the private investigator's office. I forgot to bring it back."

Marty:"And I have Larry David's place card right next to hers."

Larry David:She's dating a guy?! What? You're kidding! That's fantastic! Congratulations! Good for you.

Larry:"Congratulations! Good for you. She's not a lesbian anymore. Oh my god. Good going."

Larry David · Cheryl:It's over? What's over? The marriage. Why would our marriage be over? You said, 'we need to talk.'

Larry David · Cheryl:Light up? Did I light up? 'Oh, it's over?'

Wanda:"Shit, I mean, you're renting, so I can be honest. I don't like it. Kinda cold, like a hotel."

Larry David:Is it wrong to assume that a black man wearing a bow-tie is a muslim?

Wanda:Why are you asking me some bullshit like that? What the fuck, Larry?! I'm not your link into the black world, okay?

Wanda:You think farrakhan went out and bought up all the bow-ties or something? He's sitting there holding on to bow-ties and only muslims get 'em?

Wanda · Larry:What the hell... I think it's you, Wanda. One of y'all wanna grab cujo?

Wanda:You have a racist dog! That dog hates black people.

Wanda:Sheriff?! That's a perfect name for a racist dog.

Wanda:Where did you get this dog, the klan meeting or something?

Wanda:Sheriff the fucking dog that eats black people. What the fuck, man?

Wanda:Looking at me like I'm a damn t-bone.

Loud diner:I'm sorry, we need to keep it down for Tucker Carlson over here.

Restaurant patron:"I'm sorry, we need to keep it down for Tucker Carlson over here. 'Keep it down'!"

Sue · Larry David:Starts with a 'J' and it ends with an 'I'. Jedi?

Larry:"I wasn't really happy for him, I was pretending I was happy for him. But that's all. I was just pretending. No, I wasn't sincere. I wasn't sincerely excited."

Sue:You used to be such a liberal guy, Larry. Look what you look like. Look at the bow-tie.

Wanda:"This man is a racist. He has a racist dog. He has a dog that attacks black people."

Sue:This man has a dog that attacks black people. He has a racist dog.

Larry:"Okay, I do... the dog is racist. But I didn't train him to be racist."

Larry David:Well, because we don't know what we're doing as much as the women know. You know, it's their equipment. They own the equipment, so they know what to do with it.

Larry David:You know what's going on down there? I don't have any idea.

Larry:"This project demands I get back to my base. I need my base."

Larry David:This project demands I get back to my base. I need my base.

Larry David:You're a gentile. You'll go in the middle of fifth avenue. It's different for jews.

Man with stutter · Others:I have a s-s-s-stutter, you p-p-p-pricks! Stutter my ass! That's for people who can't walk. Oh, all right, fine, okay. Oh, your stutter's gone, jackass!

Omar Jones:According to one of the brothers, you said, 'keep it down'. We talk, Mr. David. We talk.

Restaurant worker:You, my friend, are back in the lesbian bosom.

Server:"You, my friend, are back in the lesbian bosom."

Marty Funkhouser:Why didn't you just say, 'hello Dan, I'm Larry'. 'Nice to meet you'? Problem? Yeah, problem. Now she's back with a woman.

Marty Funkhouser:And someone said, 'Larry went home to take a shit.'

Larry David:You are a muslim! Go, pray, pray.

Larry David:There's a lot of meshugana muslims, though, running around, are there not?

Larry:"There's a lot of meshugana muslims, though, running around, are there not?"

Disabled man:Really? First of all... we don't like to be refered to as 'normal', ok? We're able-bodied! Able-bodied, not normal. That's like from the eighties, who doesn't know that?