Denise Handicap

Larry · Denise:I'm seeing her in a private recital at a friend's house. - Ooh! - I love the sound of envy. It's music to my ears.

Denise · Larry:You're halfway decent looking. I think we could arrange it. - Wow, thanks. - Yeah. It's those compliments that just keep me going.

Denise · Larry:You're not some creepo creep, are you? I am. I'm a total creep.

Larry:If you deliver bad news like it's bad news, it's gonna be bad news. If you deliver bad news like it's not a big deal, then it's not a big deal.

Larry:It's like you're in the hospital, the doctor comes in and says, 'oh good, nice shades. You have terminal cancer.' That's exactly my point. This is how a doctor should do it.

Jeff:And by the way, susie, I so want to divorce you.

Larry:Once she wheeled out from the table... I... Come on, what could I do? I'm taking her out tonight.

Larry · Jeff:What gets priority on a check, asker or toucher? What is he, judge judy?

Larry · John · Jamie:Hello, kelsey. Kelsey. Kelsey grammer. - Frasier. - Just kelsey. We don't call her frasier.

Larry · John · Jamie:Have you noticed if she has any proclivity for chopsticks? - Why? - Why would she have a proclivity for chopsticks? - Well, she's chinese.

Larry · John:if you took an american kid who's never used chopsticks before and a chinese kid who's never used chopsticks before, would the chinese kid do better? - So the american kid is the control group in... - She uses a fork.

Larry:First time she uses chopsticks, give me a call. Just let me know. Give me a call and say, 'you wouldn't believe it. This kid's amazing.'

Larry:do you have any concerns that one of the biological parents could be a psychotic? I'm just saying. You don't want to have a schizophrenic on your hands.

Jamie · John:So the American kid is the control group in...? / She uses a fork.

Larry:If we're gonna have a second date, you're gonna have to get an electric chair. I'm not doing this again.

Denise · Larry:Lift with your legs. - I am lifting with my legs. - Don't carry it all on your back.

Denise · Larry:Larry, hurry up. - Hurry up? - Hurry up. - Shut up!

Larry:Jesus, that really got my back. Yeah. I feel it radiating down my leg. How am I gonna play golf tomorrow?

Larry:Generally I'm just walking from one place to sit to the other place to sit. Yeah, but I'm not... You can't classify me as a walker.

Denise:The thing is that when... When we first met you were wearing a hat. And then you came to the door d I was like, 'who's this? Oh oh!' because you are bald.

Larry:I get it. I had a hat on and then baldy showed up.

Denise · Larry:Have you ever considered plugs? - Plugs? Plugs? You mention plugs to me? You mention... You sit at this table and mention plugs?

Larry · Denise:Yeah, I didn't know when you wheeled away from the table that... - Mm-hmm, that I'm a wheelie. - That you're a wheelie.

Larry · Denise:By the way, what's the proper term? Can I say handicapped? What is it? Are you disabled? Handicapped? Challenged? Are you challenged? - Right now I am, yeah.

Larry · Denise:Um, you know, I should probably... I should probably get going. Right. Because I'm handicapped? What? No, of course not. What are you saying that for?

Jamie · John:Jamie: is that him? He's a fucking asshole! John: I think it would be best for everyone if you didn't come to the chee-yun concert. Jamie: I don't want him anywhere near kelsey!

Leon · Larry:How was the date with that wheelchair chick? - I don't kiss and tell. - Come on, man, what happened? Well, I'll just give you the bare bones of it, okay?

Larry:Yeah, and there was like no reaction at all. And I don't know if it's because I was bad and didn't know what I was doing, or if it's just her condition.

Leon:If you fucking brung it, if you really fucking brung it, man, it doesn't matter what the fuck is wrong with her... Coma, fucking handicapped, any of that shit.

Leon · Larry:You did the dizzle on her, right? - I did what? - The dizzle. - The dizzle? You did your dizzle on her, right? Yeah, I did my dizzle.

Leon:I would've had her ass tap-dancing, larry. I don't fuck around. Give me her goddamn number. I'll go over there and twist that ass up, larry. I'll bend that bitch like beckham.

Leon:I'll bend that bitch like beckham.

Larry · Leon:You can't break up with a handicapped person by phone, right? No, huh-uh. No, you got to do it face to face.

Denise · Larry:Just park in the handicapped spot in front of the restaurant. Handicapped spot? How am I gonna do that? This is how. Like this.

Hostess · Larry:Hi. I'm sorry, it's gonna be about 45 minutes. Oh, table for two? - Mm-hmm. - great. Right this way, please. - Really? - Absolutely.

Server · Larry:And we're gonna start you off with a couple of glasses of champagne. Compliments of the house. - You do this for everyone? - No, we don't.

Ted · Denise:Oh! Hi, how are you? - Hi. - Nice to see you. - Nice to meet you. Yeah, nice to meet you too. Very nice. Very nice. Little surprising, but nice.

Ted · Larry:Just have one bite. Have a bite, come on. I'm not in the mood, ted. I don't want it... You're making me look like an asshole... Be a fucking friend, will you please?

Larry · Ted:Take this fucking piece of pie and get it out of my face. Put the fucking pie down! Don't put that pie down! Do not put that pie down! God damn it!

Ted · Larry:You know something? I heard rosie o'donnell beat the crap out of you. Oh, really? That's bullshit. That's what I heard. Rosie beat the crap out of you... You big sissy. You big fucking sissy.

Larry · Denise:Oh, what a lovely night for a stroll and a roll. That's right.

Larry · John · Jamie:These are the people who disinvited us to the concert... We would love to have both of you. We misjudged you... We will absolutely give you the best seat in the house. No question. Or do you already have it?

John · Jamie · John:We would love to have both of you. / We misjudged you. / Both of you please come.

Susie:Get up off your fat ass and let's take a walk! It'll be romantic!

Larry:I don't have her number or her address... She was in my blackberry under denise handicap. That's how I remember these names... I've got shawn yoga... Teresa masseuse.

Leon:Like right here I got... Look look. Nancy big tits. I know nancy's got big ass tits. Jonel sweet ass. That's the only way I know who the fuck it is.

Leon · Larry:When shit is too clean you can't fucking tell where the fuck you at. You know what I mean? Is that her right there? No, that's not her. But you know what? They might know each other... Handicapped people know other handicapped people, right?

Larry · Leon:If you were living in an all-white neighborhood and there was a brother, you would know the brother, right? - I would know the brother. I would go holla at him.

Larry · Leon:Handicapped people know other handicapped people, right? / You would think. If you were living in an all-white neighborhood and there was a brother, you would know the brother, right?

Wheelchair woman:Denise and me and stephan hawking, we hang out all the time, 'cause we all live in the wheelchair neighborhood. No, I'm sorry. I don't know your friend.

Larry · Wheelchair woman:You need some... You need a push? - No. - I'm a good pusher. - Yeah, you're pushy all right.

Larry · Rosie:Well, assholes don't go out with the disabled, okay? Check that out. Yeah, she's my date. - That girl is your date? - That girl is my date. - In the chair? - In the chair.

Jeff · Larry · Jeff:Are you kidding me? Denise is here? / What? / Fuck.

Larry:Wendy wheelchair? Hello? What? You're in the closet? Hang on.

Denise · Larry · Wendy:Who the hell is she? Wendy wheelchair. Who is she? Denise handicap.

Larry · Denise · Wendy:It's not my fault... It was an honest mistake. We may be disabled, but you're disgusting. Get back here, larry. You get back here!