Larry angers a hot-yoga teacher, has an auspicious first date, and seethes over a run-in with an unfair Uber driver.
WAR
59.8
Wins Above Replacement
“Namaste” ranks #94 of 120 Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 76.4 — Great. The episode packs 64 scored jokes at 1.4 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 7.1 on impact, with Larry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Yoga Instructor · Larry: Namaste means 'the light within me greets the light within you.' - There is no light within me, that's the only problem there.
Susie · Larry: You are on an Uber rating, you're like a... a two. - A two? - On a good day. On a good day! - Fuck you! A two, okay? - Yeah. I'm a four, baby! I'm an Uber four.
Susie Larry Setup/Punchline Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · HVAC Guy: Say you had a 'Sophie's Choice.' You have two children, heating and air-conditioning. You have to pick one, the one you had an infinity for, and the other one goes into the concentration camp. Which one... which one you gonna keep? - Heat. Go with heat. - So air conditioning's going to the concentration camp.
Larry · Greg: Oh, hey. - How you doing? - I'm looking for Greg. - Ah, I'm Greg. - Oh, hey, L-Larry. Jeff's friend. - Oh! - We, uh... we talked on the phone. - On the phone, yeah, yeah. - How you doing? Nice to meet you. - Eh, you're black.
Larry Greg Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry · Leon: I follow the golden rule, okay? 'Do unto others as you'd have others do unto you.' - I follow the golden rule, too. My friend Jasper's golden. 'Fuck them or they'll fuck you.'
Larry Leon Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 64 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Larry · Leon: I would fuck her. Damn! - You like that? - Fucking love that shit.
Larry Leon Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry · Leon: I wanted to do the downward dog. That's my favorite one. - You love that downward dog. - I'm a big dog.
Larry · Yoga Instructor: Yeah, not a namaste guy. I don't participate in group activities. You know, I don't sing the birthday song.
Yoga Instructor · Larry: Namaste means 'the light within me greets the light within you.' - There is no light within me, that's the only problem there.
Larry · Yoga Instructor: My third eye is watching. - That's not how the third eye works. - You know how the third eye works, huh? - I've studied it for many years, yes. - Is that so? Here, watch, here's what I think about the third eye. See? Look, I'm poking it.
Larry · Yoga Instructor: I wouldn't do it to my two eyes, the real eyes. - Right, right. The third eye's real. - There's no... there's no imaginary eye there.
Larry · Yoga Instructor: It's really hot in here. - Well, it's hot yoga. - Does it have to be this hot?
Larry · Yoga Instructor: No, I'm here because I have a bad hamstring. - If you're not gonna acknowledge the light within yourself, then you can leave. You can leave and you cannot come back. - Wow. That's very 'unyogi-ish' of you. - Get the fuck out.
Larry: You just made my day. Okay. Namaste!
Larry Irony/Sarcasm Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Leon · Larry: Guess whose number I got. - Yogi Tina? - Yeah. Nice! Guess who just threw me out of class and told me never to come back. - Yogi Tina? - Yeah, Yogi Tina.
Leon Larry Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Larry · Leon: I wouldn't say namaste. - Man, you gotta say namaste, man. - Oh, get the fuck out of here. That's so stupid.
Larry Leon Character Comedy Reaction Beat Callback Larry · Leon: Car accident sequence with backup camera malfunction
Larry · Leon: I follow the golden rule, okay? 'Do unto others as you'd have others do unto you.' - I follow the golden rule, too. My friend Jasper's golden. 'Fuck them or they'll fuck you.'
Larry Leon Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry · Susie: I would be a little concerned if it was my daughter. - Well, you know, there's no accounting for who's attracted to... look, I'm attracted to Jeff. Go figure that one.
Larry Susie Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry · Susie: Do-does she know about the fatwa? - Yeah, and guess what? That turned her on!
Larry Susie Absurdist Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Susie · Larry: You are on an Uber rating, you're like a... a two. - A two? - On a good day. On a good day! - Fuck you! A two, okay? - Yeah. I'm a four, baby! I'm an Uber four.
Susie Larry Setup/Punchline Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: Let me tell you something, if I was a two, I would kill myself. I... I could not live on this planet as a two.
Larry Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry · Greg: Oh, hey. - How you doing? - I'm looking for Greg. - Ah, I'm Greg. - Oh, hey, L-Larry. Jeff's friend. - Oh! - We, uh... we talked on the phone. - On the phone, yeah, yeah. - How you doing? Nice to meet you. - Eh, you're black.
Larry Greg Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry · Greg: Just surprised Jeff didn't mention it. - Why would he have to mention it? - Eh, because most white people with black friends like to show off about it, that's all.
Larry Greg Observational Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Larry: I'm not prejudiced in any way towards any group, except my own, of course.
Larry Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry · Romanian Driver: Romanian Uber driver rating Larry as a two
Romanian Driver: You're thinking, maybe, of mountain women. Okay? I am not talking about mou... I'm talking about lowland women. Women of the plains. The most beautiful in all of Europe.
Larry: you're from one of the most unattractive countries, you know, on the planet. It's all skewed 'cause all you've seen are unattractive people your entire life.
Larry Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Larry: Next time, I won't leave a note. How 'bout that?
Larry Irony/Sarcasm Escalation ★ Rewatch Bridget: They try to get the penises in, and the pussy. Wet pussy, tight pussy, hot pussy. You know, cock, balls, tits.
Bridget Cringe/Discomfort Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Bridget · Larry: I can't fight off the penis forever. - Just let it in. - Yeah. Let it just slip right in.
Larry · Larry as friend: She holds it like a pencil. That I've never seen before. - That's annoying. - Yeah, and she keeps the window open in the car. - Ugh, air.
Eddie · Larry: Why is Mom going out with you? - Oh... Yeah, no, that's a very good question, Eddie. Very good question. I don't know.
Eddie Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Eddie: Your head is so shiny.
Eddie Setup/Punchline Cringe/Discomfort Eddie: Why are these chocolate sprinkles? On the spectrum? - Mm-hmm. - I only eat rainbow sprinkles!
Eddie Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Larry: Because he didn't sound black on the phone, okay?!
Larry Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Susie · Larry: Oh, Jesus Christ! What are you doing up here? This is upstairs. You don't come upstairs in somebody's house. - W-why? What's so special about... - This is my boudoir! It's off-limits! Off-limits!
Susie · Larry: Mrs. Cleaver hated Eddie Haskell 'cause Eddie Haskell was a kiss-ass, obsequious, little shit. - I think he had access to the house. - But that's because the boys were upstairs. - Okay, so all I'm asking for is Haskell-access. I want the same... I want the same privileges as Eddie Haskell! Is that asking too much?!
Larry · Susie: Has Jeff seen you in those curlers of late? - Get! Out! Out! Out! - Oh, what a fucking asshole.
Uber Driver · Larry: You might feel like a five, but Uber says you're a one, buddy. - Holy shit. Four other stars next to it, not filled in. - The Romanian! The Romanian. Gave me... he gave me a one and took me down from a five to a one.
Leon: I can't fuck at 92 degrees in my room 'cause my room won't get hot enough. It gets hot in here.
Leon Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Leon · Larry: She's a yoga instructor. She likes hot yoga. - Oh, so she likes hot sex and hot yoga, is that it? - That's fuckin' right. That's what the fuck she does.
Leon Larry Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: I don't like the scent of fuck, okay? Sue me. I don't like fuck scent.
Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Leon · Larry: There's nothing wrong with people having the scent of... of fuck on their body. - I don't like the scent of fuck, okay? Sue me. I don't like fuck scent.
Larry · Leon: How do you know he's black? - I know how black people sound. - You could tell that guy was black? - Fuck, yeah, instantly. Three words. Bam. Jews, I could tell within, like, a minute. - Man or woman. - Of course, 'cause you're Jewish. You... you give me two minutes, and I could tell you if they're reform or conservative.
Tina · Larry · Leon: It's the optimal temperature for climaxing. - Oh, is it? Ha, ha, is it? You... are gonna have to leave. - Such hospitality. - Feels good? Namaste. - Okay. Now get the fuck out. - I'm still gonna nama-stick-it-in-her.
Romanian driver: Let me just open a programming window on my phone and enter some code for you.
Romanian Driver · Larry: Let me just open a programming window on my phone and enter some code for you. - What are you writing over there? - I'm just entering some notes for other drivers.
Romanian Driver · Larry: My sister would not look at a picture of you. - She's a gorgeous Romanian woman. - Gorgeous Romanian? That's an oxymoron. Gorgeous Romanian.
Romanian driver · Larry: My sister would not look at a picture of you. She's a gorgeous Romanian woman. - Gorgeous Romanian? That's an oxymoron.
Larry · Leon: And I'm telling you, I don't think Bridget's kid has Asperger's. I swear to God, I just think he's an asshole. - The kid's an asshole. - I know a lot of people with Asperger's, I do. Not a lot, but I know some. And you know what, they're delightful people. This kid, I'm betting you're right. - Asshole.
Larry Leon Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Jeff: I don't think Bridget's kid has Asperger's. I swear to God, I just think he's an asshole. - The kid's an asshole.
Larry Jeff Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Leon: I'm gonna start telling people that you're on the spectrum. - I could be. Any bad behavior can be written off as what? - Spectrum. - Spectrum.
Larry Leon Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jeff · Larry: I suggest you foster a kid. - Okay. I'll go... - It'll make you a better man. - I'll go down to the pound today. I'll go down... I'll go down to the foster pound.
Larry: Say you had a 'Sophie's Choice.' You have two children, heating and air-conditioning. You have to pick one... and the other one goes into the concentration camp. Which one... which one you gonna keep?
Larry Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Larry · HVAC Guy: Say you had a 'Sophie's Choice.' You have two children, heating and air-conditioning. You have to pick one, the one you had an infinity for, and the other one goes into the concentration camp. Which one... which one you gonna keep? - Heat. Go with heat. - So air conditioning's going to the concentration camp.
Larry · HVAC guy: I'm not gonna have sex with my shirt off. - You don't take your shirt off during sex? - No, I don't... no. - I take my shirt off while I'm kissing.
Leon · Justin: White people. - Hey, man, white people. Gotta love 'em. Namaste. - Namaste up in this mother fucker.
Larry · Greg: Thing is that I didn't m... tell you was that I have Asperger's. - You have Asperger's? Ah. - Jeff never mentioned anything, I'm so sorry. - Why would he need to? - Well, no, no, no, I... he doesn't need to. You... you're right. I'm sorry.
Larry Greg Callback Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Greg: Car will be ready when? - Tomorrow. - Tomorrow. - Free. - S-see you tomorrow. Tomorrow. - T-t... yeah, tomorrow. - Tomorrow, tomorrow. - Yeah, okay. - Tomorrow, tomorrow.
Larry Greg Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Leon: There must have been 10,000 ejaculations in that place in just two years. - That means that room is broken in. It's ready. It's prime and ready to fuck.
Larry Leon Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry · Leon: There must have been 10,000 ejaculations in that place in just two years. - That means that room is broken in. It's ready. It's prime and ready to fuck.
Larry Leon Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Leon · Larry: You gonna bring my rating down. I'm a good five right now. I'm a five. - No, no, you a fuckin' one.
Larry: What are you sitting in the middle for? Why don't you move over one? It's like using the middle urinal.
Larry Observational Character Comedy Larry · Bus Passenger: It's like using the middle urinal. - You know it's odd, I... I'm not sure if you can understand me or not just... - No, no, you go over there. - No, you sit there. No, no.
Bus passenger · Larry: I'm not your babysitter. Figure it out. This bus is a very cold, unforgiving place. I don't like it one bit.
Larry · Bus Driver: I have Asperger's! I'm on the spectrum! - Ah! - Get. - If I see you on my bus again, I'm a fuck you up.
Leon · Tina · Larry: [Leon and Tina's loud sex sounds from guest house] - Do I hear a Jew? - I'm not gonna do that!
Leon · Larry: Do I hear a Jew? - I'm not gonna do that!
Leon Larry Cringe/Discomfort Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — Curb Your Enthusiasm