A Fishful Of Dollars

Fry:Uh, excuse me. I missed a few lectures. Uh, what subject is this? Ancient Egyptian Algebra. What a nightmare!

Professor:Mr. Fry, are those your underpants?

Professor · Advertisement:Young man, I think it's time you learned a lesson... about Lightspeed brand briefs.

Advertisement:Style and comfort for the discriminating crotch.

Professor:The ad gets into your brain just like this liquid gets into this egg. Although in reality it's not liquid, but gamma radiation.

Fry:Well, sure, but not in our dreams only on TV and radio and in magazines and movies and at ball games and on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts and bananas and written on the sky but not in dreams. No, sirree.

Bender:Nobody's forcing you to buy anything. Yeah. I mean, we all had commercials in our dreams but you don't see us running off to buy brand-name merchandise at low, low prices.

Salesperson:What a lovely face. We just need to draw attention away from the eye area.

Fry · Salesperson:Can I try these on before I buy them? I'm afraid I can't let you open the package but you can try on the demo pair.

Fry:Ooh. Ho-ho-ho.

Fry · Bender:Hey, Bender. Great new sweater. Uh, 'new'? What sweater? I came in with it! I don't know you people.

Cashier:Visa hasn't existed for 500 years. American Express? 600 years. Discover Card? Mmm, sorry, we don't take Discover.

Fry:What kind of world is this where they advertise things not everybody can afford?

Fry · Leela:Hey, who's the rocker jockey? Guh! It's Mom the world's most huggable industrialist.

Advertisement:'Mom,' 'Love' and 'Screen Door' are registered trademarks of MomCorp.

Bender:Hamboned.

Bender:I say, I'm sure there's... That is, I'm sure there's... a very... reasonable...

Fry:I'd love to chip in, but Bender stole my wallet.

Fry:Sure. It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda back where I used to work Pinucci's Pizza.

Bank Teller:At an average of 2¼ percent interest over a period of 1,000 years that comes to... $4.3 billion.

Leela:Maybe you don't understand just how rich he is. In fact, I think I better put on a monocle.

Fry · Pizza Guy:Anchovies. You know those little headless fish? Does not compute.

Leela · Zoidberg:Just about the time your people arrived on earth wasn't it, Zoidberg? I'm not on trial here.

Zoidberg:Stop! Stop! I admit it. My people ate them all. We kept saying, 'One more can't hurt.' And then they were gone. We're sorry!

Leela:Well, aside from causing eye cancer these things had a lousy, low-definition picture.

Bender:On a TV like this, I bet you couldn't even make out my obscene tattoo.

Leela:Who was this Ted Danson and why would you pay $10,000 for his skeleton?

Fry:I have an idea for a sitcom.

Fry · Auctioneer · Leela:Don't tell me how to spend my money. 50, going once, twice... $75,000. Oh, my God. It's Mom.

Fry · Auctioneer:One jillion dollars. Sir, that's not a number. Oh. In that case 50 million.

TV Commercial:Do you remember a time when chocolate chip cookies came fresh from the oven? Petridge Farm remembers. Do you remember a time when women couldn't vote and certain folk weren't allowed on golf courses? Petridge Farm remembers.

Fry:I like big butts and I cannot lie # You other brothers can't deny

Fry:I could if you hadn't turned on the lights and shut off the stereo.

Leela:Now, are you going to come to the squid fights with us or sit here wallowing in your prehistoric junk?

Fry · Bender:I finally found what I need to be happy and it's not friends... it's things. I'm a thing.

Leela:My ponytail's caught in the door.

Mom:Holy crap, that bastard's itchy.

Mom · Walt · Larry:Walt, cream soda. Right away, Mother. Larry, get your mother a cream soda. But Mom said... You heard me.

Mom:You don't have to do the math to know that's a buttload of oil.

Mom:If anyone ever got hold of anchovy DNA they could chop out the oil-making gene stick it in a bunch of third world kids and bam! Cheap, effective robot oil

Mom:Esther, you ugly.

Walt · Mom:Mother, you are one clever old scag. And don't you forget it.

Mom:Now I'm off to some charity B.S. For knocked-up teenage sluts.

Walt · Fry:We're here to tighten your drains. Ow!

Fake Pinucci:No, you only 'dreamed' you were in the year 3000.

Pamela Anderson's Head:Okay, but I'm only doing this so people will take my head seriously as an actress.

Pamela Anderson's Head:Then he doesn't know I won the Oscar? Nope. Crap!

Fry:10.77 same as my PIN number.

Pamela Anderson · Fry:Thanks a billion. More like 4.3 billion.

Advertisement:This dream brought to you by Lightspeed Briefs.

Repo Man:1077.

Professor:Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters Atomic supermen with octagonal-shaped bodies that suck blood out of you

Mom:Listen, you little bastard... I control the robot oil business... and I won't let you ruin me.

Fry:You might as well put that checkbook away because I've discovered something even more important my friends, and they aren't worth even a penny to me.

Mom:Holy hell! You're going to eat them? Oh! Well, just make sure you eat them all. You're a growing boy. Toodle-oo! Dumb ass.

Everyone · Fry:Gross! Ick! Mm. Eh, no one likes them at first... but they'll grow on you.

Bender:I don't know. I've had cow.

Zoidberg:That heavenly stench.

Fry · Zoidberg:There aren't anymore, and there never will be. More!