Hell Is Other Robots

Announcer:Ladies and gentlemen, here to lay down some old, old, incredibly old school beats, the Beastie Boys!

Professor Farnsworth:They're busting mad rhymes with an 80% success rate. I believe that qualifies as ill. At least from a technical standpoint.

Fry:Will you guys shut up? I'm trying to look cool.

Bender:Tonight we're going to party like it's 1999... again.

Bender · Fender:Hey, Bender. Hey, Fender.

Bender:You still working at Jack in the Box?

Beastie Boys · Fry:That was a thousand years ago. Now we got seven. Cool. Can I borrow the new ones? And a couple of blank tapes?

Fender:Hey, Bender, why don't we ditch these organ sacks and hit the real party?

Bender:Hey, what kind of party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker.

Bender:Uh, hey, I'm no square... but isn't that counter-indicated by my operations manual?

Bender:Well, if jacking on will make strangers think I'm cool... I'll do it.

Fender · Bender:Easy, baby, you don't want to get hooked on this stuff. Ah, no need to worry. I don't have an addictive personality.

Bender:Shut up, square!

Bender:Hey, do I preach to you when you're lying stoned in the gutter? No. So beat it!

Fry · Bender:Who was that guy? Your mama. Now shut up and drag me to work.

Hermes:Our electric bill is climbing faster than a green snake up a sugarcane.

Hermes · Fry:If I didn't know better, I'd almost think he was abusing electricity. Bender? No way. I definitely would have noticed something.

Leela · Bender:Bender, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom? Are you jacking on in there? No! Don't come in!

Fry · Bender:I know big Vinnie said he was giving me the kiss of death... but I still think he was gay. Did he use his tongue? A little.

Bender:Come on, universe! You big, mostly empty wuss! Give me all the juice you got!

Leela:Bender, we didn't mind your drinking or your kleptomania or your pornography ring. In fact, that's why we loved you.

Fry:Just like when my friend Richie swore he wasn't taking drugs... and then he sold me my mom's VCR. And then later, I found out he was taking drugs.

Preacher Bot:I see a lot of fancy robots here today... made of real shiny metal. But that don't impress the robot devil, no, sir.

Preacher Bot:he's going to plug his infernal modem in the wall... belching smoke and flame, and he's going to download you straight to robot hell.

Hermes · Bender:This is a witch hunt. Oh, what a beautiful morning, oh, what a beautiful day.

Fry · Bender:Great. He's whacked out on electricity again. No, I'm whacked out on life.

Fry:Religion? Is this another scam to get free yarmulkes?

Bender:Then you'll all come to my exceedingly long... un-air-conditioned baptism ceremony.

Robot congregation:Tell it, preacher! That equals true.

Preacher Bot:Press any key to continue.

Bender:Uh, while you're at it... could you touch up this seam?

Bender:No poison for us, thanks. I'll stick with good old mineral oil.

Fry:I'm hungrier than a green snake in a sugarcane field.

Bender:One-zero-zero-zero... one-zero-one-zero-one-zero-one-zero-one... zero-zero-one... zero-one-one-zero-zero-one... two.

Bender · Fry:I'd like to give everyone hugs. Come here, Fry. Oh, uh, but I don't want to.

Leela · Bender:What are you doing to my ship? Sanctifying it. There. That ought to convert a few tailgaters.

Professor Farnsworth:If only he had joined a mainstream religion... like Oprah-ism or voodoo.

Fry · Leela:Bender's stupid religion is driving me nuts. / Amen.

Bender:But those girls don't wear cases. You can see their bare circuits.

Bender:Thou shalt not snatch.

Bender:I'm the greatest!

Bender:You know, as a major Hollywood director... I'll be holding auditions tonight for my next movie.

Leela · Fry:What in hell happened to Bender? Well, he didn't check out. The ashtray's still here.

Beelzebot:No, Bender. Robot hell is quite real. Here's our brochure.

Amy:They shut it down after all those people... caught salmonella from the flume ride.

Fry · Professor Farnsworth:Who would have thought hell would really exist? And that it would be in New Jersey?

Bender:Mind if I smoke?

Leela · Robot Devil:Wouldn't a solid gold fiddle weigh hundreds of pounds... and sound crummy? Well, it's mostly for show.

Robot Devil:You'll only win a smaller silver fiddle. Also, I guess I'll kill one of you... Him.

Bender:Well, we're boned.

Robot Devil:Stop them! They cheated!

Bender · Fry:I could if you dropped the stupid gold violin. Oh, sorry.

Bender:I could if you dropped the stupid gold violin.

Leela · Bender:Uh, do you think you could be... just a little less evil than that? I don't know. Do you think you could survive a 700-foot fall?