Leela's parents adopt Dr. Zoidberg.
WAR
49
Wins Above Replacement
“Crab Splatter” ranks #75 of 137 Futurama episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 77.5 — Great. The episode packs 57 scored jokes at 2.9 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with Zoidberg landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Dad: I wish we never abandoned you!
Dad Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Zoidberg: If I die, please donate my debt to a children's hospital.
Zoidberg Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Zoidberg · Munda: What do you call it? / A roll of paper towels. / Mm! And the bone is the best part.
Zoidberg: When my species mates, they die, so I never met my parents. I never got to experience their love, or abuse, whichever one they were gonna do.
Zoidberg Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Zoidberg: I'm afraid... you're stupid.
Zoidberg Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Standout Moments
Zoidberg · Munda: What do you call it? / A roll of paper towels. / Mm! And the bone is the best part.
Dad: I wish we never abandoned you!
Dad Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Zoidberg: If I die, please donate my debt to a children's hospital.
Zoidberg Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 57 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Axl: Because if it's quiet, it's literally pointless.
Axl Character Comedy Absurdist Axl · Parent: All you had to do was say please. / I said please. Twice! / Well, maybe you should have yelled it.
Parent: Uh, hang on, my son's on fire.
Parent Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist ★ Rewatch Kif's partner: Kiffy, I wanna replace my wedding ring diamond with whatever this is.
Character: Like Mars? Or Jesus?
Professor: Sorry. I thought this was an air fryer.
Professor: Using this rock hammer I got from a Shawshank Redemption memorabilia website
Zoidberg: I thought it smelled familiar.
Professor: Alas, even though you're immensely poor and that tiny sliver I burned would've made you a millionaire, it rightfully belongs to your whole civilization.
Dr. Judith · Character: That raises an interesting question. / Yes? / What are you doing later?
Dr. Judith · Character: Sorry, you're not my type. / I had to give it a shot. / You actually didn't.
Character: So how'd the rock get to Earth? I mean, it didn't just walk. Right? Back me up, guys.
Character · Dr. Judith: Wow. I feel so special! / You're not.
Character · Dr. Judith: Marry me. / That's not a question. / Marry me?
Character: It's, like, we get it. They were big animals.
Zoidberg: Decapod 10 is nice, but it smells like a clam's armpit.
Character Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Johnson: Sorry about the trash. Apparently, the previous tenant was kind of a pig.
Johnson Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Johnson · Landlord: It has running water? / It has running something.
Bender · Amy · Leela: ¿Quién es Bender? / Uh, I'm late for a gynecologist appointment! / Me too! Let's carpool.
Bender: Porque no quiero Zoidberg to live with us!
Bender Character Comedy Callback Callback Bender: How dare he! That's my move!
Bender Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Zoidberg: Your Jacuzzi is wonderful! Those jets really get into your crevices.
Zoidberg Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Leela · Munda: By seeing whether your tentacle is covering the screen again. / Oh, it is.
Leela · Munda: I never had a room. / You guys gave me up for adoption. Remember? / Well, it's the room you would've had.
Mom: God, she looked awful.
Mom Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Morris · Munda: Who was it? / Nobody. With no cookies.
Munda: You cancelling's become part of the tradition.
Munda Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Munda: That? That's just her ugly profile photo.
Munda Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Leela's Parents · Zoidberg: Beach Boys 'I Get Around' performance
Leela: Even though it's not.
Leela Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Mom: He's a treasure, is what he is.
Mom Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Zoidberg: When my species mates, they die, so I never met my parents. I never got to experience their love, or abuse, whichever one they were gonna do.
Zoidberg Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Morris: Well, we won't make that mistake again.
Morris Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Mom: Sibling rivalry, I love it!
Mom Cringe/Discomfort Irony/Sarcasm Leela · Morris: You're not my brother! You're a gross, lazy, freeloading bum! / Sibling rivalry, I love it!
Foghorn Leghorn-style clerk: Just sign your John Gamecock here, here, and, uh, fill in your young'un's date of hatchin'. P'caw!
Leela · Zoidberg: That debt was supposed to be mine! / I can't believe I'll have my own debt someday. I promise to nurture and grow it.
Johnson: The dumpster's on the small side, but it's a good school district. I always say, 'location, location, location.'
Real estate agent · Character: Where do you live? / The sewer.
Leela · Zoidberg: You're stealing my parents! / You mean our parents.
Munda: I wish we never abandoned you!
Munda Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Parent: Different doctor! Different doctor!
Parent Character Comedy Escalation Zoidberg · Morris: Do you mind holding my hand, sir? / Of course.
Zoidberg: I'm afraid... you're stupid.
Zoidberg Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Leela · Zoidberg · Dr. Judith: But-- but-- How can Zoidberg be related to me? / It defies explanation! / I can explain it!
Dr. Judith: Yes. Did you receive my restraining order?
Dr. Judith Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Dr. Judith: ...jazzing them up with claws and tentacles... Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop.
Dr. Judith: And I thought you were just a vapid hunk.
Zoidberg: Use one of those.
Zoidberg: Why don't they just spray us with a tea fire hose?
Johnson: We found a refrigerator box that's twice the size of this place! You get a lot more box for your buck out there.
Johnson Character Comedy Observational Callback Johnson · Zoidberg: We'll work somethin' out. / Okay. As long as it doesn't involve money.
