Crab Splatter

Farnsworth · Leela:Good news, everyone! Well? What is it? What is what? Oh! Right!

Farnsworth:Stop asking questions, old man, And we'll slip you an extra five grand That your crew doesn't need to know about.

Leela · Farnsworth:Which gang's red, and which gang's blue? Both!

Leela · Bender · Amy:Does anyone else find this delivery suspicious? Nope. He's too dumb, and I don't care. Well, I'm smart, and I care too much.

Leela:I just need it in case, uh, Fry gets his head stuck in a pot of honey. And in the meantime, if I should happen To bump into the crate and open it... Whoopsie!

Bender · Fry · Leela:Hey, leela, Fry got his head stuck in a pot of honey! Oh, bother. Not now!

Leela · Bender:Alcohol? Tobacco? Firearms? Firearms! That's the one I was secretly hoping for.

Leela · Bender:Then pretend they're little human necks. What?! Let me at 'em!

Bender:I hope I never see you again.

Fry:There might be spiders!

Fry · Leela:Leela, this is no time to show me your boobs! Turn your jersey inside out. Oh. Show me again.

Gang Member · Fry · Gang Member:Yo, what you doing on our turf? Chill, dawg. Ain't no thang. We cruds. Well, we blips, and we over here.

Gang Member:We put up that mirror 'cause this is a blind intersection. It's considerably reduced the number of accidents. It don't do nothing for the murder rate, though.

Fry · Leela:Well... Excuse me, sir? We're not actually blips or cruds. We're delivery people, here to deliver this crate. So if everything seems to be in order, We'll be on our way, a'ight?

Gang Members:Oh, it's far from a'ight. Now, hold up! It's a'ight, all right? It's a crud, And he's got a gun!

Gang Member · Gang Member:Yo, you just shot your own reflection in the mirror. It was self-defense.

Fry:Giant spiders. I knew it!

Gang Member · Gang Member:I'll test it out on that innocent bystander. Ow! Yo, you just shot yourself again!

Leela · Gang Member:Look, let's just agree that gang violence Is an important issue with no easy answers. Okay.

Bender:Yeah it was! I got bot-jacked!

Bender:They stole everything except my mouth and eyes. I guess they didn't like all my screaming and winking.

Bender:My head?! Slap me upside it! Ah, home, sweet head.

Chop Shop Owner · Police Officer:What if I throw in giant robot head for nice officer? Hmm... Thanks for all your help, officer!

Character · Bender:I didn't even know you had a wishbone. I had a lot of magic things.

Shop Owner:Come in, come in. Close the door. You're letting the smut out.

Shop Owner:This ain't a church, lady. Except for tax purposes.

Shop Owner:All I can give you is this naked picture of him Taken from my toilet cam.

Senator:It has done everything and everyone imaginable. You may want to get it disinfected.

Bender · Party-goers · Fry:It's my body. Oh, come on, bender! Can you at least wait till it's empty? Fair enough. Fry, beer me.

Bender:I'm 40% back, baby!

Bender · Poker Player:But those are my arms! That's gropey, and that's cheaty. Cheaty?!

Tinny:It's a miracle! I can walk! No more crutch or withered leg! Someone's sure to adopt me now!

Tinny · Bender:I guess it's back to the cart for me. Ooh, nice cart.

Bender · Fry:I'm still missing the shiniest metal piece of all. Your thyroid? No! I'm talking about my ass!

Bender · Ship Captain:My ass! Sweet love of my life! Several hundred people died, too, Including my wife. My ass!

Bender · Leela:My ass is my soul mate. It even has its own hind-brain. Really? Your butt can think? No. But it can feel. And right now, it's hind-heartbroken!

Leela · Amy:Why isn't there a lighthouse to guide us away from the rocks? I don't know, But look out for that lighthouse!

Tarquin · Fry:I suppose you'll be wanting To keep your tooth fillin's. Are ye hurt? No, but we could use a hug.

Tarquin:That'll be my cup-a-soup. It's been microwavin' longer'n I can remember.

Tarquin · Amy:Found me a whole blue man group once. So you have two jobs? More. I also salvage the wrecks with my bathysphere, And I'm a butcher, If you like blue meat.

Tarquin · Bender:Aye, I'll help ye for a cut of the booty. Now, when you say a cut of the booty... I mean a percentage of the value of the recovered goods.

Tarquin:The booty call is at daybreak.

Leela · Bender:Let's not forget that this shipwreck Is also the final resting place of this brave captain. Place your bets. Whee!

Tarquin:If ye like your shoes unmatched and with feet still in 'em, This is your night.

Ship Captain:I thought we were near the rocks, But I don't see the lighthouse, So everything is fine and we can relax. All hands on deck For mojitos.

Tarquin · Bender:Your aft-plate. Its fiery gleam saved A ship full of south beach swabbies. Well, I do polish it every day, And I sleep in a chamois diaper.

Bender:Maybe I have been selfish, Hiding my ass under a bushel. Perhaps, like all great men, My ass has a destiny, And if it does, I can't stand in its way.

Bender:I used to stick my rear out the window. My behind used to make music. Even my ass wouldn't watch that.

Tarquin · Biblical Text:Now what say I read you a nice passage From the scripture to help you forget yer old master? 'In the sanctuary, he made two cherubim of olive-wood, each ten cubits high. And one wing measured five cubits, And the other wing measured five cubits; from the tip...'

Child:Thank you, assie.

Bender:Assie? Oh, assie, you came home! You came home.