A conspiracy theory makes shocking claims about the basement of the local pizzeria.
WAR
60.7
Wins Above Replacement
“Murderoni” ranks #49 of 137 Futurama episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.6 — Elite. The episode packs 66 scored jokes at 3.4 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with Hermes landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Bureaucrates: I said I'd get to it on Monday, but Monday never came... 'cause my calendar was under one of the piles!
Hermes: So you created a filing system so unsystematic that literally nothing could be done without you? You truly are the greatest bureaucrat who ever lived.
Hermes Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Fry: It's a log of dead flies!
Fry Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive Dwight · Bureaucrates: Have you tried this door? You can't use that! It's for emergencies.
Bender: No self-respecting devil worshiper would sacrifice babies in this dump!
Bender Dark/Subversive Observational Standout Moments
Bureaucrates: I said I'd get to it on Monday, but Monday never came... 'cause my calendar was under one of the piles!
Hermes: So you created a filing system so unsystematic that literally nothing could be done without you? You truly are the greatest bureaucrat who ever lived.
Hermes Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Fry: It's a log of dead flies!
Fry Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive All Jokes — 66 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Hermes: I swear, that tie is longer than a steamrolled green snake!
Hermes Observational Wordplay/Pun Hermes: It's Dwight's first day at the Young Bureaucrats Club. He's a real check off the old box. Yum again.
Hermes Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Hermes · Dwight: You have no idea how proud I am that you want to follow in my compulsively even footsteps, son. Eh, your fax made it pretty clear.
Hermes: One topping, no tippin'.
Hermes Character Comedy Observational Elzar: It's great. Very flat.
Elzar Deadpan/Understatement Observational Blecch · Bender: It's-a so tender, you don't even gotta chew! Oh, good! My battery was running low.
Fry · Server: Let's see... pepperoni, or pepperoni? Would you like to hear today's special? It's pepperoni.
Hermes: Sweet coconut of the shogunate! Why aren't you at the Young Bureaucrats Club?!
Hermes Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Hermes: Well, you found the worst possible way. By tellin' me!
Hermes Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy LaBarbara: Never let anyone tell you what to do. And go and get us some refills on them Arnold Palmers, chop chop.
Fry: I used to work in a pizza parlor, and I turned out.
Fry Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch News Anchor: Stay tuned for our hard-hitting, unbiased report, after this word from... Fishy Joe's. It's fish-licking good!
Commercial Singer: ♪ Force a fish stick in your mouth ♪ ♪ When you come to Fishy Joe's ♪ ♪ Where the fish is never frozen and the 'frigerator broke ♪
Fishy Joe: I won't stand by as greedy mom-and-pop joints-- like that one-- serve better food at lower prices.
Blecch: I'd like to shove a fish stick where the star of this-a solar system don't-a shine.
Blecch Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Blecch: We struggle for years just to find-a pizza recipe that doesn't make-a human metabolism say, 'Get it outta me!'
Blecch Observational Character Comedy Fry · Leela: How about you? You're literally any other candidate. Me? A humble alien with legislative experience on her home planet, and a can-do spirit? I can-a no do.
Leela: I promise to make-a good government the same way I make-a good pizza, with lots-a hard work, and whatever kinda mushroom is-a the cheapest.
Leela Setup/Punchline Character Comedy News Anchor: You and me both.
Fishy Joe: They're fattening up babies in the basement and choppin' up the chubbiest ones to make that sweet, innocent pepperoni! People are saying. How many people? A lot. One of the biggest numbers.
Leela: This is-a crazy! I don't even know how to hatch a baby!
Leela Absurdist Character Comedy Fry · Crowd: No one could believe such insane lies. You'd have to be a gullible, deranged moron! Yee-haw!
Protestor: First of all, I need the exercise. But also, they're making babies into pepperoni!
Blecch: No basement, no bathroom. Not even a ceiling in-a some places.
Protestor: You think you can cover up the truth with a bunch of obvious facts? Well, I got a mob who says otherwise!
Blecch: We can't even prove we don't-a got a restaurant a-license!
Amy: File not found. I tried my best!
Amy Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Hermes: I won't let this happen! I mean, I'll let the second part happen.
Hermes Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Hermes: Actually, son, we're going on a thrillin' adventure! Which might involve a few forms being stamped.
Hermes Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Customer · Blazucchi: What's the holds-up with my pizza? I'm-a sorry, we're a-short mandibled. We lost our cheap child labor human.
Fry: It requires zero skill! That's why I'm so good at it.
Fry Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Fry: I've never washed them before. It's just... I couldn't bear to part with them. Not even for 45 minutes. They're one of the only things I have left from my old life before I got frozen.
Fry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Fry: No! The stains was all there was!
Fry Character Comedy Escalation Morgan · Hermes: Oh, Hermes! My eyes must be goin'. I thought you were Zsa Zsa Gabor. Who? I don't know. Just laugh.
Hermes: That wasn't a joke.
Hermes Deadpan/Understatement Meta/Self-Referential Hermes · Bender: Whoa... it's a total no-man's land. Sounds like my weekend.
Hermes · Dwight: It's like a vast paper forest. What's a forest?
Hermes: You want a granola bar or somethin'?
Hermes Reaction Beat Character Comedy Hermes · Dwight: It may look that way to the uninitiated, but to a seasoned bureaucrat, this is art... borderin' on the erotic. Dad! I said bordering!
Hermes: He got lost in his own files and died. And alas, the secrets of his system died with him.
Hermes Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm Hermes · Dwight: I should never have brought you here. It's too excitin'. It really isn't.
Dwight · Hermes: But that thing's gonna inflict at least 2d12 damage. We'll never survive without armor! How about chain mail?
Protestor: We're not complacent. Show us the basement! Told ya it rhymed.
Fry · Protestor · Bender: Wow, you're a hungry, hungry hypocrite. Hey, a guy's gotta eat! Actually, you don't.
Hermes: No way! I didn't put nine hours into these paper-clip codpieces for nothin'!
Hermes Escalation Character Comedy Hermes: Incorrect. In the hands of a bureaucrat, paperwork can be lethal.
Hermes Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Hermes · Dwight: Why are you shiverin'? It's not even cold in here. It's kinda hot. I know, but it just looks really cold.
Hermes: Initial here and list the cause of death as 'stupid father.'
Hermes Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Bureaucrates: Get in quick before you die of heat stroke!
Hermes · Bureaucrates: But the history books say you were lost in a whiteout. I still am!
Bureaucrates · Hermes: Here's a hint. There is no system! Can we get another hint? I'm a fraud!
Dwight · Bureaucrates: Have you tried this door? You can't use that! It's for emergencies.
Fishy Joe: I knew that stuff I made up was true.
Fry: Without my pants, life isn't worth living anyway.
Fry Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Bender: No self-respecting devil worshiper would sacrifice babies in this dump!
Bender Dark/Subversive Observational Fry · Bender: Oh, my God! Don't you mean, 'Oh, my Satan'?
Fry: This address has been zoned as a pizzeria for a millennium. They must have just kept building them one on top of another, on top of another, until they built the second one, and they were done.
Fry Absurdist Observational ★ Rewatch Fry · Hermes: Should I put them on? I think I speak for everyone when I say, yes, dammit, yes!
Fry: I remember it like it was yesteryear... only, we didn't hang pepperoni from the ceiling. We just stuck it on a high shelf to keep the laziest rats away.
Fry Observational Character Comedy Leela: At least it's not babies.
Leela Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm Callback Hermes: That's 92.5% of all I could ask for.
Hermes Character Comedy Observational Fry: I swear before God almighty that these pants will never see the inside of a washing machine.
Fry Callback Character Comedy Callback Fry · Leela: No. No, no, no, no! What is it? Pineapple!
