Murderoni

Morbo:Welcome to entertainment and earth invasion tonite!

Morbo:We'll be talking with general extermulo, Who will crush the human race under his boot Unless his demands are met immediately! But first, celebrity buzz.

Linda:loyal fans have turned out By the several to pay tribute

Soap opera character:evidently forced into servitude Aboard a crab fishing boat. So he's, like, legally dead now. Want to get married and whatever?

Soap opera characters:I'm... Pregnant. And you're not the father! Okeydoke.

Bender:He would've acted so hard, The camera would've broken down. In tears!

Bender:That's what bath time is for.

Bender:If we talk to each other any more than that, It'll ruin our friendship.

Linda:This must be linda: A difficult time for people who confuse tv actors with actual friends.

Bender:Here's... Corpsey!

Leela · Professor:That doesn't sound very scientific. Not to the layman, no. But that's how it works!

Robot Devil · Calculon:will you shut up?! You've been talking for a solid year. You know, hell used to be a nice place before you got here.

Robot Devil · Bender:A what? You know, the disembodied software blah blah whatever.

Robot Devil · Bender:It's between one and three. Four! Between one and three. Not including one or three. 'm'! Is he right? Yes. The number I was thinking of was the letter 'm.'

Leela · Professor:This is the least scientific thing I've ever seen. You be quiet!

Amy:In the name of satan. Rise from the dead

Leela:Seriously, this could not seem less scientific.

Calculon:Wherefore... Verily... No autographs, please.

Calculon:Won't leave my trailer for less than $40,000.

Calculon · Bender:Who is she? Don't worry about it. Not important.

TV Executive:But the twist is, in this show, the singers judge the judges. It's got attitude.

TV Executive:A hip new demographic: Our network is targeting People who don't like you.

Mayor Poopenmeyer:And so I am proud to tear up his star and replace it With a second star for the fabulous robert wagner.

Calculon:This is going to be the greatest career resurrection since... Jesus-- aloha from hawaii.

Calculon:But I reckon, if I had to do it all again, I'd murder those astronauts just the same. Wouldn't you, folks? Wouldn't... You?

Fry:'worst play in history.' 'calculon dies for second time.' 'theater to be demolished to remove stink of new show.' '12 hospitalized for boredom at play.'

Fry:It says nine of them are gonna be okay.

Calculon:Ye gods! What manner of beef-witted popinjay am I?

Calculon:And not the kind you hope for When you're stranded on a desert island.

Fry · Calculon:Calculon? Yes? Are you done talking, or is this a long pause? I'm done talking. Okay, that's what I thought.

Fry · Bender:Your voice is so annoying! You always leave the toilet seat crushed!

Leela · Calculon:That was the first time I ever believed You were feeling a genuine emotion. I was. It was shame.

Calculon:No, leela. In the world of theater There are no second acts.

Executive · Calculon:Where's calculon? And who's this goomer? It's me, calculon.

Casting director:Mr. Ben derisgreat?

Director:Old, past your prime, a relic from a lamer era. You really do look disgusting. A real calculon type. Just blech!

Calculon · Director:Better yet, I'll whip their emotions into a frenzy By taking a dramatic... / Actors to the set!

Calculon:This show is about me! And it always has been! Now, find the co-executive hack who wrote this drivel And tell him I want 37 more climactic speeches By lunch!

Calculon:I've never heard that phrase-- what does that mean?

Calculon:My humble ranks among the greatest In the history of the universe!

Calculon:My humble ranks among the greatest In the history of the universe!

Leela:You're a grade-b actor who died And was immediately forgotten. You're nothing but a pompous windbag Who lost touch with genuine emotion years ago. The sad fact is, we should have left you dead, Because you can't possibly do a scene like this.

Calculon:Maybe even a little bit better.

Calculon:I thought I could just step back into my old life. But it seems the world got on fine without me. Maybe even a little bit better.

Calculon:I was programmed to take credit for this.

Calculon · Bender:Very well. Just one. / Whew, that was close.

Calculon:Whew, that was close.

Bender:Shut up! I'm watching the thing!

Robot Devil:Haven't they suffered enough?!