Pandemonium erupts when people around the world start floating up into the sky.
WAR
38.6
Wins Above Replacement
“Wicked Human” ranks #110 of 137 Futurama episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 74.0 — Great. The episode packs 69 scored jokes at 3.7 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.4 on impact, with Professor landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Professor: Oh, Heavenly Father, let me first apologize for referring to you as 'Magic Space Grandpa' for over a century.
Hermes · Hermes: I need to sneak out of work early to be with my family. / I'll let it slide this time, but if I do it again, I'm fired.
Amy · Professor: Is it possible all this has broadened your mind a little? / No.
Fry: Oh, right. I always mix those up 'cause they both have margaritas.
Fry Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Professor: Science is truth! Now kneel in the direction of MIT.
Standout Moments
Hermes · Hermes: I need to sneak out of work early to be with my family. / I'll let it slide this time, but if I do it again, I'm fired.
Professor: Oh, Heavenly Father, let me first apologize for referring to you as 'Magic Space Grandpa' for over a century.
Amy · Professor: Is it possible all this has broadened your mind a little? / No.
All Jokes — 69 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Professor: Yowzer! The smelloscope is locked on to a collapsing magnetar.
Professor: Oh, I never thought I'd live to smell the day.
Amy · Professor: Wait, how do you spell 'lavender'? / Only two Ls in 'smell.'
Zoidberg · Leela · Zoidberg: Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop... / Ugh, what are you rolling in now? Your own filth? / No, everyone's!
Professor · Amy · Professor: I'll have to clear my nose with a nasal laser, or 'Naser'. / I've never heard of a Naser. / That's because it doesn't exist. So one of us will have to invent it.
Fry: Hang on! I'm caught in my arm hole.
Fry Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Borax Kid: In the market for crystals, eh? Well, sir, you're lookin' at one. Folks call me the Borax Kid.
Professor · Borax Kid: Pfft! Borax is just for laundry. / Not so. Why, it's also a leading cause of accidental poisoning.
Borax Kid: Whoa! Words can have numbers in them?
Borax Kid · Professor · Borax Kid: What birthstone is it? / Virgo. / Uh... can you describe it in a way that's less scientific?
Professor: My truth is I hate you!
Professor Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Bender · Professor: She's an astrologer, just like you. / I'm an astronomer, you drunken idiot!
Bender · Professor · Professor: We just met a cosmologist! / She sells holistic makeup with essential oils. / That's a cosmetologist!
Professor · Borax Kid: And what was she thinking? You're clearly an autumn. / Yeah, a little borax will set you right.
Kif · Kif · Professor: Yet there is another path to knowledge. Faith. / Many people believe in a heaven, yet you do not call them crazy. / Yes, I do. To their faces. And behind their backs, I'm even ruder.
Zoidberg · Fry · Leela: You hurt my feeling. / I know Heaven is real because my grandma's there! / You're thinking of Mexico.
Fry: Oh, right. I always mix those up 'cause they both have margaritas.
Fry Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Professor: I still don't believe it.
Morbo: Why was I left behind?!
Morbo Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Nibbler · Leela · Leela: Do you think I'll be left behind? What if they don't take pets? / Ow! I told you, you're not a pet! Now fetch me my slipper.
Amy · Professor · Amy: All the buttons are missing. / Strange... Who would eat nice, crunchy buttons? / Uh, just tie them with various lengths of wire.
Professor: Science is truth! Now kneel in the direction of MIT.
Professor: Science is truth! Now kneel in the direction of MIT.
LaBarbara: Stop him, Hermes! Do your limbo-jump!
Hermes · Barbados Slim · Hermes: I'm stuck here with you?! / That's the worst-case scenario! / I was wrong!
Rabbi: Out holy book predicted this when your Dead Sea Scrolls were barely even sick.
Rabbi Wordplay/Pun Escalation ★ Rewatch Professor: We worship data! Not a false cre-a-ta!
Amy: It's a cultured yogurt drink we grew in a beaker. With bacteria!
Professor: Almighty science is so powerful, it's only occasionally wrong!
Amy · Professor: We don't need the megaphone. / It's for me. I can barely hear myself.
Professor · Preacher: But you can use that to explain anything! / That's what's so great about it.
Hermes · Bender · Hermes: No way I'm ascendin' to Heaven with Barbados and LaBarbara. I'd rather go to Hell! / I'm here for you, friend. / I think I'm already there.
Fry: Man, that looked funny, but it really hurt. I think my skull's fractured.
Fry Physical/Slapstick Meta/Self-Referential Professor · Bender: Dammit! Which one of you idiots left the roof open? / Oh, right. Sorry.
Fry: Leela's gone. And all I have to remember her by is this boot.
Fry Visual Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Fry: I know Leela and I will be reunited someday, either in Heaven, or one big coffin.
Fry Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Professor: A fusion canon? Too powerful.
Kif: Get her! But be gentle.
Kif Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Bender: Then quit sittin' on your premium-sized ass, Hermes.
Bender Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Hermes: Oopsie-dinkle. I meant to close that.
Hermes Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Amy: You know my parents don't pay ransom.
Amy Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Kif: I hope the pillowcase wasn't too scratchy. I got the highest thread count I could.
Kif Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Amy · Grand Midwife: Um, will you be using actual words at some point? / Nope, just spirit sounds.
Kif: It wasn't just yogurt, it was a yogurt beverage!
Kif Escalation Character Comedy Callback Grand Midwife: Sorry, it takes five more hours.
Hermes: This here's a robbery. Gimme all your knives!
Hermes Absurdist Character Comedy Professor · Bender: Fry's dead. / Oh, what have I done?! Now I'm down to just two pallbearers.
Professor: Now I'm down to just two pallbearers.
Bender: I'm gonna try fist-to-crotch resuscitation.
Bender Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Professor: The Almighty has blessed us with snack food. And not just any snack food, the most irresistible snack food ever made!
Professor: I don't remember leaving the roof open for a third time.
Professor Running Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Professor: Huh. I hope his legs aren't in there.
Professor Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Professor: Huh. I hope his legs aren't in there.
Professor Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Professor: It wasn't some supernatural power. It was a simple hook! A simple trans-phase plasma hook on a simple mono-molecular force-filament!
Space Fisherman 1 · Space Fisherman 2 · Space Fisherman 1: What is that thing, Chay? / We are witnessin' somethin' weird, bro. / It's a baby whale!
Space Fisherman 2: Nah, it's not a whale, but it's wicked ugly.
Leela: Eh, I've been called worse.
Leela Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Space Fisherman: Oh, yeah, you're wicked smaht. 'Duh, I'm eatin' cheese puffs on a hook 'cause I'm a brainiac!'
Bender: How dare you space-townies drop that sick burn!
Bender Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Professor · Space Fisherman: 'God'? / The Coast Gahd!
Coast Guard: First off, you failed to submit the $18 fee to renew your license.
Space Fisherman 1 · Space Fisherman 2: I got the Dunkins. / You were supposed to get the license!
Coast Guard: I have no choice but to issue the first of three courtesy warnings.
Coast Guard: You can keep that one.
Amy · Professor: You have to wonder, could the whole concept of ascending to Heaven have come from ancient people being caught by space fishermen? / Maybe. Or, it could be a miracle. It's impossible to say.
