Bendin In The Wind

Fry:Oh, my God! They dug up a bag of olestra chips from my time!

Unknown · Unknown:Is that one of those Led Zeppelins? - No, it's an old Volkswagen van!

Fry · Unknown · Bender:Mind if I take this old van? Sure. You wanna dump the corpses out of there, it's yours. Yeah, I've gotten used cars before.

Unknown · Fry:What's that? One of those Jefferson Starships? It's called a van. And in light of the fact it's not rocking, I invite you to come knocking.

Fry · Unknown:It's a triumph of German engineering! The speedometer only goes up to 80. It can't go faster than 80,000 mph?

Unknown:No, but it's got a driver's-side floor and an eight-track player!

Unknown · Unknown:Where's the device that lets you speed or slow the passage of time? Under the seat.

Fry · Unknown · Bender:Why won't it start? - It needs gas. Wrong again, idiot. There is no gas. Petroleum reserves ran dry in 2038.

Unknown · Unknown · Unknown:Gas was an environmental disaster. We use alternative fuels. - Like what? - Whale oil.

Bender:Last time, that magnetic psycho nearly cut my head off! Plus the magnet impairs your inhibition unit and makes you sing folk songs.

Bender:What? Who said anything about me secretly wanting to be a folk singer?

Bender:It's time to take life by the cans.

Unknown:It's toe-tappingly tragic!

Doctor · Fry · Doctor:This is the worst part of the job. - Good news? Bender, your hydraulics are shot. You'll never move again.

Bender · Doctor:You mean...? - Sorry, you'll have to get a new one.

Fry · Leela:Poor Bender! - Well, let's drag him to the curb.

Fry:We can't just dump him in the gutter like Grandma's ashes.

Patch Cord Adams:Why do they use Windows 3000 as a prison guard? Because it always locks up.

Bender:For God's sake, somebody kick his ass!

Bender:Hey, the blues! The tragic sound of other people suffering. That's kind of a pick-me-up.

Bender:I'd get up to shake hands and steal your wallet, but my body crapped out.

Beck:I used to miss my body too... but then I fished this mannequin out of the 92¢ Store dumpster.

Beck:Try and scrape it across your chest like a knife on burnt toast.

Bender · Beck:Why, 'cause I made an annoying noise? - I use those all the time in my music.

Fry:Kudos, Bender! You got mangled, and now you're a singer. Both our dreams came true.

Leela:I don't know, Fry. I think I'm too poor to follow a band around in a van.

Zoidberg · Unknown:Bad news, friends. My shell ran. - Zoidberg, you idiot!

Zoidberg · Unknown · Unknown · Unknown · Zoidberg:My outfit! It's... - Kind of cool! - I like it! - Me too, now that I'm used to it. Then it was all on purpose! You're lucky to have me as a friend.

Zoidberg:But cross me, and I'll turn on you like that!

Server · Customer:One bowl of Jell-O knuckles. That'll be three pictures of George Washington.

Fry · Unknown · Bender:Oh, no! My beautiful money! - It got ruined in the wash! - Mine too, even my change.

Vendor · Unknown · Vendor:Get lost, you moneyless hippies! You heard him, freaks! We don't like your type around here! These are the types we like.

Fan:That was the best 40-minute washboard solo I've ever heard. The parts when I was awake blew my mind!

Broken Robot:I don't believe my broken eyes! It's Bender, the washboard player!

Bender · Bender:That's so wrong! They can't just melt down broken robots! - Not right when they're kissing my ass.

Bender · Beck:Yeah, I could write a song! With real words, not phony ones like 'odelay.' - Odelay is a word. Look it up in the Becktionary.

Bender:I'm working on my song. Hand me the Becktionary. No, the rhyming Becktionary.

Bender:I'd like to raise awareness about broken robots... but what can I do? I only weigh 8 pounds.

Amy:Can we crash here? The colors in the van keep us awake.

Amy:Can we crash here? The colors in the van keep us awake.

TV Announcer:A portion of the proceeds might go to help broken robots.

TV Announcer:A portion of the proceeds might go to help broken robots.

Unknown · Bender:Bender! You can move! You're cured! - Oh, crap! It's a miracle.

Bender:That's like Christina Aguilera singing in Spanish.

Amy · Leela · Amy · Zoidberg:They're beautiful! - You're touching them! I've never seen pearls like this. You're amazing! - I am? At last! Recognition!

Hippie · Zoidberg:Look at the colors! These will go great with my soul. Glad you like them. I've been making fine jewelry for years, apparently.

Beck:That song doesn't usually last three hours... but we got into a serious thing, and then I forgot how it ended.

Beck:here's a big cardboard check for $14,000.

Crowd · Crowd · Crowd:You big fat fraud! - You're not really broken! - But you will be!

Unknown:What is this, the Year of the Jerk?!

Bender:What is this, the Year of the Jerk?!

Fry · Leela · Fry:I forgot it's a hoverbridge! - I forgot this isn't a hover car! - Is that a problem?

Bender:Someone fat, get in my way!

Beck:That's some played-out horsecrap! But I know you don't mean it. Apology accepted.

Bender:Well, it was worth a shot.