Insane In The Mainframe

Announcer:Thompson's Teeth... the only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth

Professor Farnsworth:Dear Employee: Has it really been 5, 10 or 15 years? If not, disregard this and get to work. Distribute token of appreciation and applaud.

Zoidberg:Look! Coupons! I can get two oil changes for the price of one! Now if I could only afford the one. And the car.

Professor Farnsworth:Yes, yes. Now here's your pension statement. It's empty because you haven't paid into it, you dummy.

Bender:I got plans. I'm gonna turn my on/off switch to off.

Fry:Also, I need athlete's foot cream for my face.

Fry:Cherry. Cherry! Mule. Crud!

Bender:I've seen lines move faster in the sperm bank.

Bender · Roberto:You old lunatic! How you been? / Not bad. Not bad.

Bender:I'm okay too. I'm taking a Chinese cooking class at the Learning Annex.

Judge Whitey:My caddie-chauffeur informs me that a bank is where people put money that isn't invested right.

Public Defender:Your Honor, I move that I be disbarred for introducing this evidence against my own clients.

Public Defender:Just give a name! You don't wanna look stupid on Court TV.

Roberto:And the other hamburger will also be made of your lungs. So long, pal.

Fry · Public Defender:I won't testify on grounds that my organs will be chopped up into a patty. The 67th Amendment.

Public Defender:I may be a simple, country chicken, but I know when we're finger-licked.

Public Defender · Judge Whitey:They done hired me to represent them. Insanity plea is accepted.

Bender:Yahoo! The system fails again!

Judge Whitey:The only poor people I want to hear about are those who tend to my pores at the spa.

Fry:Ow, my head! Ow, my feet! Ow, my head! Ow, my feet!

Bender:Well, you meet half the qualifications.

Fry:What the...? I find that offensive!

Fry · Medical staff:[Visual gag: Medical examination reveals Fry as robot on scanner]

Fry:See? I'm all squishy and flabby. Also, I complain a lot.

Fry:The car dealer? I guess his prices really were insane.

Fry · Malfunctioning Eddie:We've met. What?!

Malfunctioning Eddie:[Malfunctioning Eddie explodes from surprise]

Unit 2013:They don't believe I'm a human either. Name's Unit 2013.

Unit 2013 · Norm:Still picking up CIA transmissions on your teeth? They just won't stop! The CIA cafeteria menu for the week of May 15th is as follows: Monday, shepherd's pie...

Unit 2013:Problem is, he's got multiple personalities. All of them Lincoln.

Multiple Lincoln:I was born in 200 log cabins.

Unit 2013 · Frankie:How's working the lunchroom? - All right. - Poor Frankie.

Fry:Unless they're Oreos, and only in the mouth.

Vending machine robot:Give me! Give me!

Bender:Lighten up, honey. I'm getting through a difficult time using humor.

Fry:Thirty days, September, April, June. Peanut butter.

Roberto:That first time was just to case the joint and rob it a little.

Roberto:That first time was just to case the joint and rob it a little.

Roberto:Now stand back. I gotta practice my stabbing.

Roberto:Quit cowering. You call yourself a robot?

Fry:Affirmative. I feel nothing. I am a robot. Beep, beep, beep...

Zoidberg:I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. These clothes do.

Fry:I must be a robot. Why else would human women not date me?

Fry:I must be a robot. Why else would human women not date me?

Amy:Oh, lots of reasons.

Leela:Oh, lots of reasons.

Bender:Remember, I didn't squeal? Do you?

Fry:Relax, mammal. My robotic software shall meet your calculatory needs.

Fry · Hermes:Fear not, for I shall assist ye! / Robots don't say 'ye.'

Hermes:That's a plus sign, you loony! Quit thinking you're a robot!

Fry:I'll show ye.

Amy:You're going to do his laundry?

Fry:By a scallop's forelocks, what's with all the beer?

Fry:Alcohol fuels my power cells. And, as a mighty robot, I... Beep.

Bank Employee:Wow. Hitting the same place three times? I admire your style.

Leela:He looks like a little insane drunken angel.

Police:Do you have any better hostages?

Fry:Fifty-six-ish?

Roberto:Man! Now that's all I can think about! I'm gonna kill you, you no good, 56-ing...!

Roberto:Fifty-six? Fifty-six? Man! Now that's all I can think about!

Amy:Don't kill me! I'm coming down with Stockholm Syndrome... handsome.

Fry:I am a battle-droid, protecting the weak from crazy robots.

Fry:No knife can penetrate my skin-tanium armor.

Roberto:No, no! Don't weld me to the wall, Mommy!

Fry:Blood? Robots don't have blood. I must be a... A squid?

Amy:Thanks for saving us, Fry. I'm gonna continue never washing this cheek again.

Amy:I'm gonna continue never washing this cheek again.

Bender:What?