I Dated A Robot

Narrator:You're entering a realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic or contains some kind of monster. The second one.

Clyde Smith:A casino where I'm winning? That car must have killed me. I must be in heaven.

Clyde Smith:A casino where I always win? That's boring. I must really be... in hell!

Flight Attendant:No. You're not in heaven or hell. You're on an airplane.

Flight Attendant · Clyde Smith:Why should I believe you? You're Hitler. Eva Braun, help me!

Bender:Saw it coming.

Fry:A big floating ball that lit up with every color in the rainbow... plus some new ones that were so beautiful I cried.

Leela:They have a kid wear that to attract customers.

Fry:I don't care if it was a dork in a costume. For a moment, I felt the heartbeat of creation, and it was one with my own.

Bender:Big deal. We all feel like that all the time. You don't hear us gassing on about it.

Leela:Boring? Wasn't that the period when they cracked the human genome... and boy bands roamed the earth?

Amy · Bender:You know what might be a hoot? - No. Why would I know that?

Amy · Leela:Everything? - Except that.

Leela · Fry:So your fantasy has always been to destroys a planet? - Yeah. What did they ever do for me?

Amy:Funny, you live in the universe... but you never do these things till someone visits.

Fry · Leela:Far out. So there's an infinite number of parallel universes? - No, just the two.

Fry:Well, I'm sure that's enough.

Bender:I'm sick of parallel Bender lording his cowboy hat over me.

Child · Mother:Mommy, why is that man like that? - Don't look at him.

Fry:The tongue tickles.

Bender:These new hands are great. I'll break them in tonight.

Bender:I could pound your head till you think that's what happened.

Amy:Of course. You should read a blimp.

Fry:Download a celebrity. What part of that do I understand?

Bender:While you're there, pick me up a few credit card numbers.

Internet User 1 · Internet User 2:Kirk could kick Picard's ass. - At least Picard had the guts to admit he was bald.

eBay Auctioneer:Sold to the being of inconceivable horror.

Being of Horror · eBay Auctioneer:Will a money order be okay? - Yes.

Nappster Employee · Fry:Gwyneth Paltrow? - Nah. I read she drinks human blood.

Fry:I'd prefer someone with shaved underarms.

Nappster Employee:Only woman to be named People's Sexiest Woman of the Year twice: In 2003 and then again in 2063.

Fry:I'd like the 2003 model.

Lucy Liu-Bot:You're one sexy man, Philip J. Fry.

Leela · Fry:Well, duh! She's programmed to like you. - But this is Lucy Liu, the only good actress of the 21st century.

Lucy Liu-Bot · Fry:Would you like to register me? - I'll remind you later, you hot stud.

Lucy Liu-Bot · Fry:When I feel so stuffed I can't eat... I use the restroom, and then I can eat more. - You should write a book. People need to know about the 'can eat more.'

Lucy Liu-Bot:My personality is mathematically derived from my movies... proportionately weighted by box office receipts.

Fry · Lucy Liu-Bot · Professor:You're cute. - You're cute. - You. - You. - Oh, dear. She's stuck in an infinite loop and he's an idiot.

Professor:That's love for you.

Bender:Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!

Leela · Professor:This is Fry's decision. - And he made it wrong, so it's time for us to interfere.

Bender:Stay away from our women! You've got metal fever, boy!

Professor · Professor:He never took middle school hygiene. He never saw the propaganda film. - It's just lucky I keep a copy in the VCR at all times.

Billy · Monroe-Bot:Neat-o! A Marilyn Monroe-Bot. - You're a dreamboat, Billy Everyteen.

Real Girl · Billy:Your house is across the street. - That's an awfully long way to go for making out.

Narrator:Where are all the football stars? And where are the biochemists?

Narrator · Narrator:All civilization was an effort to impress the opposite sex. - And sometimes the same sex.

Narrator:Have you guessed the name of Billy's planet? It was Earth!

Professor:I knew I should have shown him Electro Gonorrhea: The Noisy Killer.

Hermes:That Fry's a sicko pervert, I tell you. Dating a robot, it's an atrosamacy!

Amy · Bender:But Fry's our friend, Bender. - Will you stifle there, meat bag?

Leela · Amy · Amy:You stifle, Bender. - Finally you're standing up to him. - Although he is completely right.

Leela · Nappster Employee:Who's in charge? - If you're an investor, you can dump your money in the hole.

Nappster Employee:The Internet is about the free exchange and sale of other people's ideas.

Nappster Employee:No. Stay out. There's a guy going for the Tetris world record in there.

Real Lucy Liu · Fry:Help me! They've been holding me prisoner for 800 years. - The real Lucy Liu! The one you can see a movie of.

Real Lucy Liu:It hurts!

Leela · Employee · Employee:Don't make me call the maintenance guy. - It's a bluff. - We can't take that chance. Move!

George Michael-Bot · Bender:Please pick me up before you go-go. - She asked first.

Nappster Employee:We'd have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling adults.

Real Lucy Liu · Bender:Quite a masculine piece of metal, aren't you? - Don't look at me like that. If you're thinking of crossing the line, you can forget it. Bender don't bend that way.

Bender:Bender don't bend that way.

Evil Lucy Liu-Bot:I am Lucy Liu. Give me your spines.

Bender:Looks like you're retaining water.

Amy:That was incredible, Bender. You're like Jackie Chan before he got doughy.

Bender:Shucks, I wasn't afraid of that robot. I'm pretty brave once you get past my macho exterior...

Lucy Liu Army:Take this, and that, and one of these.

Fry:Now that's a wave of destruction that's easy on the eyes.

Character:Now that's a wave of destruction that's easy on the eyes.

Fry:This is the best movie I've ever seen. It has a vampire and an explosion.

Leela:It's amazing the way you notice two things.

Professor:Read the jar, Evelyn Wood.

Movie Character · Movie Character:If you want to see the real vampire, look in the mirror. - I can't. I'm a vampire.

Leela:They're forming a human pyramid... Of robots.

Leela:We weren't counting on them being as smart as they are sexy.

Zoidberg · Leela:Hooray! - And don't eat it.

Fry:You'll be safe in here, sweetheart. Get lost, Pavarotti.

Lucy Liu-Bot:I love you more than the moon and the stars... and the... Poetic image number 37 not found.

Fry · Lucy Liu-Bot:You saved us. Are you all right? - Yes, my love. I'll be just... Massive corn clog in port seven.

Real Lucy Liu:That and the largest gold nugget in the world.

Lucy Liu-Bot · System:I'll always remember you, Fry. - Memory deleted.

Bender · Real Lucy Liu:Yeah, at our wedding. - It's true. Bender and I are in love.

Real Lucy Liu · Bender:Yeah, at our wedding. - It's true. Bender and I are in love.

Fry · Bender:But... But... - Don't be a prude, Fry.