The Cartoon

So you're saying UNICEF is a scam? It's the perfect cover for a money laundering operation. No one can keep track of all those kids with the little orange boxes of change.

Ah, dramatica comedia. Untalented.

She's always inviting me to see her in some bad play in a tiny room without ventilation.

Hey there, Mister 'Too big to come to my shows'! I just came from tap, I'm all 'whooo'!

Why don't you just give up? Kramer!!! Well, that's what Jerry says.

So... Susan's dead...

I think she was happy someone finally said it.

Some people should just give up. I have. What did you wanna be? I don't remember. But it certainly wasn't this.

Look at this cartoon in the New Yorker. I don't get this. Me neither. And you're on the fringe of the humor business!

Now, we got a dog and a cat in an office. It looks like my accountant's office but there's no pets working there.

Try shaking it.

Her eyes, her mouth... nose... We know what a face consists of.

Jerry, she looks exactly like you.

Newman, but that was a crank call.

It should be the traditional route: years of rejection and failure, until she's spit out the bottom of the porn industry.

You know what woman I always thought you looked like? Lena Horne.

You don't see this? You're like twins! This is eerie!

Just because they look alike, that doesn't mean you're secretly in love with Jerry.

Well - it's getting dark.

When I'm on stage that's all I hear. 'You stink. You suck. We like magic.'

You've been stinking since the Eighties.

Oh! I think we're at the bottom.

And she's quite a-- handsome woman.

I'm not gay. ... neither am I.

and then about George dating a lady Jerry.

a perverse sexual amalgam of some girl and his best friend

Jerry, 94% of communication is non-verbal.

It's Frank and Estelle's reaction of hearing about George's man-love towards she-Jerry.

cartoons are like gossamer and one doesn't dissect gossamer.

Vorshtein? That's not a word.

I liked the kitty.

who I like to call The Devil.

So you have to imagine I have horns, a tail and hooks instead of feet.

Oh, shut up! [to Kramer]

What, your sad little horsies? The house with the little curl of smoke? The sunflower with the smiley face? The transparent cube...

It's better than your drawings of naked Lois Lane. Where did you see that? Those are private!

Snoozers!

My friends are idiots. She doesn't look like Jerry. She doesn't look like anybody.

You know I really do look a lot like your friend Jerry. I know.

And he's like, 'Hey, stop doing your show!' And I'm like, 'Hello! It's a free country!'

There really was shmootz! I didn't try and grab her!

I've stayed up all night, I fix myself up a little before I go out. Some mouthwash, a hat, something.

It's a pig at a complaint department. Yeah, and he's saying, 'I wish I was taller'! See? That's his complaint.

How 'bout if it was something like, 'I can't find my receipt. My place is a sty.'

Well, I got a complaint. This cartoon stinks.

The pig says, 'My wife is a slut'? Now that's a complaint.

Crybaby Jerry Seinfeld's Lawyer.

How could she say that on TV? And how did she get a cable special? I've never gotten a cable special!

I'd like to see that complaint get rectified.

It's a Ziggy! Some charlatan has stolen a Ziggy and passed it off as his own.

This relationship has got to be about something, and fast, or I'm in very serious and weird trouble.

I have gum in my hair. I'm losin' it.

No, you gotta shut up! I'm sorry, I--I haven't spoken in days.

You ripped off a Ziggy? It must've seeped into my subconscious. Puddy has Ziggy bed sheets.

I see Ziggy's back at the complaint department. 'The New Yorker's stealing my ideas.'

I heard he makes his best friend date women who look just like him. Hello, issues!

You broke up with her just because she cut her hair? How short? Like that. You mean like... that. So she... Yes. And you don't... No. So... Exactly.

We... must never ever speak of this again. No. No.