The Blood

Poor Marvin Kessler. He went too early. He was 96 years old. That had nothing to do with it. The man was out of shape.

We walk once around the block three times a week. And every morning I eat a plum.

Yeah, looks like you're getting a little spare tire there, tiger.

No, no. The luggage is on the program. I got a brick in here.

Did you give blood? No, no, not giving. Hoarding. I'm storing it at the blood bank, just in case.

Jerry, I know myself. If I'm out on the street and it starts to go down... I don't back off until it's finished.

Well, I'm glad I got to see him before he hit puberty and got... you know, all lurchy and awkward.

Do I know anyone? If you think of anybody, give me a call.

Oh, incense. For the mood. Oh, yes, by all means. The mood. Let me know if there's anything I can do to lend support for the mood.

Who wants to be responsible? Whenever anything goes wrong... the first thing they ask is, 'Who's responsible for this?'

She lit this vanilla incense. The smell drove me nuts. All I could think about was food. I had to get out.

Told her I had a bus transfer that was only good for another hour.

Hey, you guys think I'm getting a little chunky? What? Are you kidding? We look great.

I think you're getting a little pudding under the skin yourself.

Maybe I'll just take my blood elsewhere, yeah... Oh, no, no. No more banks. I'm keeping my blood in my freezer... with my money!

Your pastrami on rye with mustard... Pastrami on rye with mustard? Don't you remember they--? They used pastrami in that movie, 9 1/2 Weeks... Well, maybe it was Ghostbusters.

So she didn't appreciate the erotic qualities of the salted-cured meats.

Sex is about love between a man and a woman, not a man and a sandwich.

What the hell is that? Pudding skin singles.

You know, for a fat guy, you're not very jolly.

Don't be ridiculous. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go fill my freezer with my own blood.

You're out. I'm in. Now, hit the road.

You're dead, President Lincoln. You're dead. I wish I was dead.

Oh, handful of sunshine. I wish I could do this every day.

You got three pints of Kramer in you, buddy.

I can feel his blood inside of me. Borrowing things from my blood.

Yesterday I had a soft-boiled egg and a quickie.

Scissor mishap, air show disaster, Chinese organ thieves.

And disappointed, blood brother.

Would you like a kidney too? Because I'll give it to you. I'll rip it out right here and smack it on the table.

Tell him to eat a plum.

So grab your jock if you need one. It's go time.

And then he put this plastic bag over his head... and started running around until he got tired... and he laid down somewhere.

Drop your purse, honey... and pick up that medicine ball.

All aboard the pain train.

What are you doing? Pleasuring you.

Don't lie to me, butterbean.

I flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami.

You've combined food and sex into one disgusting, uncontrollable urge.

Sleepy here's quite a weasel. Maybe he can bat for you... Yeah. That's what I need. A pinch weasel.

Well, it's all for charity, so, what's the difference?

I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted-cured meats.

If you wanna live in a butcher shop... I'm gonna treat you like a piece of meat.

Well, for the first quarter-mile they thought I was just dogging it.

Hello, Jerry.