Susan Ross

Oh, hello. Oh, hello. - Hello.

Oh, it was only vomit.

Is Ted Danson's deal standard? / Ted Danson? / You know, the guy from Cheers. / Yeah, I know who he is. / You're not Ted Danson. / I didn't say I was Ted Danson.

Bubble boy tried to kill me. What? Susan, tell them. It's a long story.

He's doing Johnny Carson, Daddy. - I didn't care much for his jokes.

Daddy never laughs. - Oh, well, so what? Laughter. What is that? I mean, what is the point of opening your mouth and going: 'Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!' What is that?

George? - Burned. - Burned? - There was a fire, and it- Burned. - The cabin burned? - Yeah, burned. Burned?

From John Cheever! 'Dear Henry... last night with you was bliss. I fear my... orgasm has left me a cripple. I don't know how I shall ever get back to work. I love you madly, John. P.S. Loved the cabin.'

You are a stupid, stupid man.

I'm not a soft-boiled egg. And I am not a piece of toast.

Why were there so many cockroaches?

Since you and I broke up. - So after me, you... went that way?

I need, like, 35. Thanks. - So was it me? - Oh, don't be ridiculous. Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?

You're an idiot. - Why? That's a legitimate sociological question.

Oh, and George, by the way... you stink. You need a bath. - It's not me! It's the car!

George, I'm starting it.

The Lauers? Really? Do you not wanna go? No, no. I wanna go.

Spring! Rejuvenation, rebirth, everything is blooming. All that... If you don't wanna marry me, George, just say so!

Oh, don't worry. Yes, of course, of course.

There's a lot of women that would love to be in your position right now.

Oh, he is impossible to shop for, Uncle Ned.

You want a little tuna fishy? - Yeah, a little tuna fishy. Fishy.

Because you love your little Kiki, don't you?

We're out of Bosco.

Quite the décolletage for a suffragette.

The vault?

The missing marble rye revelation and Frank's theft

Boy, she's beautiful, don't you think? I wish I looked like that. - Turn it off. You're making me jealous.

Wait a minute. I thought that Art wanted to give up the exporting. - What did I say? - The importing. - I did? - So, what does he import? - Chips. - What kind of chips? - Potato. - Some corn. - And what does he export? - Diapers.

I already asked him that. He said, 'Good. Good day.'

Would you pick a station! I like them all.

Oh, great. Now the volume knob fell off.

What's this? Oh, God. What? It's a c... It's a condom!

George? Hi, honey.

Even a tiny doubt, a dot of a doubt... Because if there's any doubt at all, I feel that we should cultivate it. Cultivate it?

I've decided to go with the chicken.

No, Susan. No, no, it's Lilly. I think I know my own name. It's Susan. Well, you look like a Lilly.

He doesn't even know my name. That was an honest mistake. No, he's too weird. He'd fall or something. He'd ruin the whole ceremony.

I've always smoked. I've never seen you smoke. Oh, yeah, well, big smoker.

What's so funny? You don't have any money. I make more money than you do. Yeah, give me the papers, I'll sign them.

Oh, these are so cheap. Don't forget tomorrow. We're shopping for rings... so don't make any plans. And this time we're not skimping.