Larry fears that Artie's intimate relationship with a CBS network executive spells the end of their relationship. Darlene longs to sing with Clint Black.
WAR
25.8
Wins Above Replacement
“Arthur's Crises” ranks #41 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 77.0 — Great. The episode packs 30 scored jokes at 1.4 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Larry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Artie: Ever since I pissed in Larry Tisch's pool on labor day, I've been persona non grata at black rock.
Artie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie: It's great to find some places never change... except for John, the chef. He's dead.
Artie Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Artie: I'm afraid I'm going to turn into a lonely old geezer wondering whether your melon got chopped up or whether I told you that your ass isn't fat.
Artie Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Larry: You're the happiest we've ever had on the show.
Larry Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie: We split it.
Larry: Yeah, well, good. Fascinating.
Artie: So we're screwing each other silly. Is that what you want to know about?
All Jokes — 30 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Larry: That's something my ex-wife used to tell me.
Beverly: Artie go out to lunch?
Larry: He never goes out to lunch.
Beverly: When I get stressed out, I retain water. Every year before the emmys, I puff up like a fucking blowfish.
Beverly: Beverly's frantic fan-girl meltdown over Clint Black
Beverly Physical/Slapstick Cringe/Discomfort Artie: I have to give you a check for the coffee table and the lamp.
Donna: No, sir. I intend to make you work for what you owe.
Larry: What are you doing? Now we don't have a lookout. Now, if he comes in, he's gonna see... his calendar.
Larry Escalation Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Larry: Where is Artie?! Would you keep it down?
Hank: You have to speak up, Larry! I can't hear ya!
Larry: First, she steals Snyder. Now she's trying to steal Artie. Fuckers!
Larry Character Comedy Escalation Darlene: Darlene volunteering to sing with Clint Black
Artie: It's great to find some places never change... except for John, the chef. He's dead.
Artie Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Artie: We split it.
Larry: Yeah, well, good. Fascinating.
Artie: So we're screwing each other silly. Is that what you want to know about?
Artie: Ever since I pissed in Larry Tisch's pool on labor day, I've been persona non grata at black rock.
Artie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: Well, no, not if you're riding fence.
Larry Deadpan/Understatement Observational Hank: They'll cut you like a ripe tomato, OK?
Hank Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Listen, no matter what they tell you, no matter what Larry tells you, they'll cut you like a ripe tomato, OK?
Larry: You must be one hell of a lay.
Artie: I'm also a good cook, and I mix a stiff drink. Every last one of my wives said they would have divorced me years before, but they just couldn't face life without my herbs and spices.
Artie Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie: I'm lying for love.
Larry: You didn't just say tough titty, did you?
Artie: Tough titty!
Artie: Tough titty!
Larry: You didn't just say tough titty, did you?
Artie: Tough titty!
Artie: I'm afraid I'm going to turn into a lonely old geezer wondering whether your melon got chopped up or whether I told you that your ass isn't fat.
Artie Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Larry: My ass is fine. My ass is great. I never felt better about my ass.
Artie: Then maybe you and your fat ass can go fuck yourselves.
Wardrobe: Here's your fucking suit.
Larry: Where are the pants?
Wardrobe: They're letting them out in the butt.
Larry: You mean the crotch?
Larry: You're the happiest we've ever had on the show.
Larry Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Clint Black: You just need to find your Lisa.
Larry: I think you're my Lisa, and I think I'm yours.
Artie: Oh, jeez! What the fuck!
Top Episodes — The Larry Sanders Show
