Larry gets upset over a review from TV critic Tom Shales, prompting him to fire off a fax in retaliation and to seek sympathy from show guest Sally Field.
WAR
117
Wins Above Replacement
“Where is the Love?” ranks #21 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 90.1 — Elite. The episode packs 89 scored jokes at 3.0 per minute, averaging 7.5 on craft and 7.2 on impact, with Hank Kingsley landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Larry Sanders: I gotta tell you, I think that chair's changed my life. [SCREAMS, WHIMPERING] My ass feels like it's on fire!
Larry: I'd like to tour the rest of the place.
Artie Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Phil: You're not even Jewish.
Hank: I am Jewish.
Phil: No, you're not.
Hank: I am Jewish!
Hank: Sally Field wore her hat on The Flying Nun and look at that. That was a big show.
Artie: That's what the Olsen twins say.
Artie Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 89 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Larry: Now I can get rid of Stephanie.
Artie: Larry, she just had a baby.
Hank: He said this chair is just like having sex.
Larry: So I'll sit in it a couple of times, it'll complain, and then I'll sell it.
What is perfectly adorable, good as new, and has 7 tiny little dents in it?
Larry: Is he on the show? He just came in to tell us that joke?
Larry: What's not to feel?
Hank: But from today on, it would mean so much to me if each of you referred to me as Hank Lepstein.
Artie: This is more along the lines of a preemptive strike.
Hank: He's a sweet guy. He's a genius guy. Not so pretty, but awfully sweet.
Hank: You know, the drinking and the gambling and the cheap sex, and I mean-- oh, what a waste of time.
Artie: Why don't you just lie down there, I'll get you a cold cloth, you poor bastard.
Artie: They run this town. They run it a hell of a lot better than the Asians.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Artie: Morality's just gonna get in the way.
Artie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Artie: And I don't want you to fuck that up.
Larry's a talk show host.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Phil: You're not even Jewish.
Hank: I am Jewish.
Phil: No, you're not.
Hank: I am Jewish!
Phil: You complained to me because it made you look too Jewish.
Hank: At least I'm smart enough not to worship a god that sits in the middle of a Chinese restaurant with a sign that says, 'Rub my belly for luck.'
Beverly: A rabbi fits more nicely into a show business environment.
Artie: Well, Phil, I can't believe you're a comedy writer, but we have to take them both on faith.
Hank: This would be a real good place to hide the matzo on Passover.
Hank: Catholic priests can't do that, which is why I believe so many of them have prostate problems.
Hank: Yom Kippur and the 4th of July.
Rabbi Susan: As a Jew you're almost a Methodist.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Rabbi Susan: Call me Susan.
Artie Setup/Punchline Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Hank: You have soft skin. I mean-- I mean, for a rabbi.
Artie: Please don't have sex with Hank before the show. It makes his blood sugar drop.
Hank: A friend loveth at all times, but, um, a brother is born for adversity.
Hank: Sally Field wore her hat on The Flying Nun and look at that. That was a big show.
That was a show about a flying nun.
Larry: I'd like to tour the rest of the place.
Artie Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hank: I am on God's team, and this is God's cap.
Hank: And besides, I am-- I am looking at the postseason.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Artie: When I was 12, I got baptized, and I didn't shut up about it until a year later when I got laid.
Artie: I talk to the man upstairs on my own time and not in the middle of 'Larry's Funny Photos.'
Beverly: He even made sure that he left early for midnight mass.
Larry: Somebody has been sitting in my chair.
Phil: Did they also eat your porridge, too? You know, like Goldilocks and the three bears.
Stu: But I am behind the camera, where the viewing public cannot see me.
Hank: We live in a racist society. Even behind the camera, apparently.
Hank: You're an uncle Tom.
Artie: They just get a little-- [mimics shock] Little butt hummer.
Artie: Uncle Miltie never wore a yarmulke on his show and neither did Jack Benny.
Artie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Hank: You'll get this yarmulke when you pry it off my cold dead head.
Artie Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Artie: Be careful, she's a hot box here.
Hank: Like the-- Like the Hebrews at Masada.
Hank: Yeah, that sounds like a woman.
Hank: Yeah, that sounds like a woman.
Hank: What the hell are orange Jews?
Artie: Maybe he's referring to the orange juice you endorse.
Artie: That's what the Olsen twins say.
Larry: My ass feels like it's on fire!
Artie: I thought it was Phil.
Artie: Boy, well, when it comes out, it just pours out, doesn't it?
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Hank Kingsley · Network Executive (Stu): Maybe you guys can, uh, cave to society's pressure, but, uh, not Hank Lepstein. / Who's Hank Lepstein? / Me. I am Hank Lepstein.
Artie: Stu, the fall schedule sucks.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie · Network Executive (Melanie): My buddy John Cougar, he changed back to his real name Mellencamp. Let's not make a big deal out of this. / Yes, but, Arthur, there's only one difference. / Yeah? / This is a big deal.
Larry Sanders · Artie: What you're saying is that, when you're not here, people come in and they sit in your chair. / Right. / Okay. / Well, why don't you just lock the doors? / No, I can't lock the doors, 'cause then I would look paranoid.
Artie · Larry Sanders: I can pull a line off the heating element, and then when somebody comes in to sit on it... they get a shock. / Uh, I couldn't do that. / What? / It wouldn't kill them.
Artie: They just get a little— [mimics electric shock] — little butt hummer.
Artie Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie: I thought it was Phil.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Larry Sanders · Artie: Really? / And it works. / You know, ask my kids.
Artie: Uncle Miltie never wore a yarmulke on his show, and neither did Jack Benny. Okay, Sammy— [pause] —but that was part of his shtick.
Artie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Hank Kingsley: You'll get this yarmulke when you pry it off my cold dead head.
Hank Kingsley · Larry Sanders: Um, my next guests are making their very first appearance on the show. And we— uh, you know, in my faith, we have a prayer that commemorates when something happens for the first time. Oh. Um, you want to hear it? / Not right now.
Hank Kingsley · Rabbi Klein: All right, they're just giving me so much pressure, and I just wanted some emotional support. / Well, I'm here to help any way I can.
Unknown Backstage Person: Be careful, she's a hot box here.
Hank Kingsley: Like the— like the Hebrews at Masada.
Hank Kingsley: You never met Hank Kingsley, and I'm very glad for that because he was talented, and, well, he was pretty darn charming, but other than that, there was no one there.
Hank Kingsley: I'm very attracted to you.
Rabbi Klein: Okay, then speaking as a woman, um— I'm very flattered, but I'm not interested.
Hank Kingsley: Yeah, that sounds like a woman. I mean— I'm sorry, Hank. I mean, you are a really nice guy. You're just not my type.
Rabbi Klein: I'll see you at services?
Hank Kingsley · Beverly: What is that scent? That is wonderful. What is that? / Eternity. / It's wonderful.
Hank Kingsley · Beverly: Beverly, would you like to, uh... / What? / Never mind. / No, what. / Nothing.
Hank Kingsley: Right on, sister.
Brian · Hank Kingsley: 'Dear Jew, you keep wearing your Jew hat, because I can use it as a target when I blow your Jew head off.' / Wow, this guy's a real nut case, eh? / Read another one.
Brian · Hank Kingsley: 'Dear Bar Mitzvah Head'— / Well, that's a clever start.
Brian · Hank Kingsley · Brian: 'I will not buy your orange Jews ever again.' / What the hell are orange Jews? / Maybe he's referring to the orange juice you endorse.
Hank Kingsley: Oh, no. No, not the orange juice. Well, that can't be happening. No— my contract's up for renewal.
Hank: Oh, no. No, not the orange juice. / Well, that can't be happening. / No -- my contract's up for renewal.
Hank Character Comedy Escalation Artie · Hank Kingsley: Hank, I'm between a rock and a hard place. The network doesn't want you to wear the yarmulke. / Well, that's all I needed to hear. / It's gone. / Bad mail? / Mm-hmm.
Hank Kingsley: I took this walk and I bumped into Steven Spielberg. Oh, sweet guy. Next to Marvin Hamlisch, the sweetest.
Hank Kingsley: Who, by the way, is also very sweet once you get past all the dick jokes.
Artie: That's what the Olsen twins say.
Artie Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Hank Kingsley · Artie: And Rickles told me about this great lobster place. I'm gonna take you there. / You're on.
Larry Sanders: I gotta tell you, I think that chair's changed my life. [SCREAMS, WHIMPERING] My ass feels like it's on fire!
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