Worried about his health, Mr. Burns visits the Mayo Clinic. He lets Homer housesit his mansion, which leads of course to an offshore knife fight and an attack by Chinese pirates.
WAR
65.8
Wins Above Replacement
“The Mansion Family” ranks #40 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 86.0 — Elite. The episode packs 57 scored jokes at 2.6 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 7.1 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Mr. Burns: Burns: 'Damn Roosevelt! Cause of parents' death: Got in my way.'
Mr. Burns Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Moe · Homer: Moe: 'Once you get 12 miles out, there's no laws at all. That's where they held the Tyson/Secretariat fight.' Homer: 'They were so drunk!'
Moe Homer Absurdist Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Mr. Burns · Doctor: So what you're saying is I'm indestructible. Oh, no, no. In fact, even a slight breeze could- Indestructible.
Homer: Homer looking at land people: 'Look at those poor saps back on land with their laws and ethics. They'll never know the simple joys of a monkey knife fight.'
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Cornelius Chapman: You're doing the right thing. Oh, oh! Out you go! My, you're a big one. No, no turning back now. Off a tall building- That's a great way to do it!
All Jokes — 57 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Kent Brockman: Kent's desperate attempts to share spotlight: 'And I'm Kent Brockman!' [lone cough] 'With Britney Spears!' [loud applause]
Homer · Marge: Homer: 'This is my year, Marge. Everyone knows I'm what makes this city great.' Marge: 'I don't know. There's a lot of buzz around Lenny.'
Krusty: Krusty wins award, turns to person next to him: 'Who are you?' 'Seat filler.' 'Aw!'
Krusty Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Homer: Homer: 'Everyone gets an award but me. I can't help it if I donated the most blood. Ohh. I'm feeling kinda woozy.'
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer · Marge: Marge: 'You won a Grammy.' Homer: 'I mean an award that's worth winning!'
Britney Spears · Kent Brockman: Britney: 'in today's youth-obsessed culture we sometimes forget that older people are still alive.' Kent: 'I told ya!' Britney: 'Well, sorry!'
Britney Spears · Kent Brockman: I told ya! Well, sorry!
Britney Spears · Cornelius Chapman: Britney: 'In the market crash of 1929 he helped people jump out of windows to avoid disgrace.' Cornelius: 'You're doing the right thing. Oh, oh! Out you go! My, you're a big one. No, no turning back now. Off a tall building- That's a great way to do it!'
Cornelius Chapman: You're doing the right thing. Oh, oh! Out you go! My, you're a big one. No, no turning back now. Off a tall building- That's a great way to do it!
Kent Brockman: Cornelius dies during his introduction, Kent: 'Well, guess we should've expected that.'
Homer · Marge: Homer sits down when asked for 100-year-olds after standing for everyone 60+
Homer: Homer's acceptance: 'Don't give me that kiss of death, you black widow! Boy, he didn't want to let go of that!'
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Homer Wordplay/Pun Dark/Subversive Callback Homer: Homer's speech: 'abra-cadaver!'
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Homer reads prepared speech about loving Springfield 'from cuddliest infant to the—' then improvises: 'Puppies. Patriotism. Bluebirds. [raspberry] I'm not reading this drivel.'
Homer Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Homer · Marge: Marge: 'That's not an award. That's part of the set.' Homer: 'Nothing you can say will diminish this honor.'
Mr. Burns · Smithers: Burns: 'Who's that fellow who always screws up and creates havoc?' Smithers: 'Homer Simpson, sir?' Burns: 'Yes! The way I figure it, he's due for a good performance.'
Mr. Burns · Smithers: Who's that fellow who always screws up and creates havoc? Homer Simpson, sir? Yes! The way I figure it, he's due for a good performance.
Mr. Burns · Homer: Burns: 'if the house catches fire I want you to call this number.' Homer: 'The fire department.' Burns: 'Yes. They're new, but they're good.'
Homer: Homer: 'Look at me! I'm a billionaire!' [Falls down stairs]
Homer Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Marge: Marge: 'And the bed never needs to be made. Check it out.' [Makes bed automatically]
Marge Visual Gag Character Comedy Homer: Homer demonstrates automatic dresser: gets violently dressed by machine, emerges disheveled: 'Now I'm ready to hit the town.'
Homer Physical/Slapstick Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Lisa: Lisa finds Burns' Nancy Drew collection: 'even the controversial Clue in the Clock. Tsk-tsk-tsk. So many swears.'
Lisa Absurdist Character Comedy Bart · Lisa: Bart: 'I'm Al Unser Jr.!' Lisa: 'I'm Princess Margaret!' Bart: 'I'm drunk!'
Mr. Burns: Burns filling out medical forms: Social Security number: 'Naught-naught-naught, naught-naught, naught-naught-naught-two.'
Mr. Burns: Burns: 'Damn Roosevelt! Cause of parents' death: Got in my way.'
Mr. Burns Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Marge · Homer · Lisa: Marge: 'This all seems a little elaborate for sloppy joes.' Homer: 'I know what the other 11 forks are for, but what do you do with this one?' Lisa: 'Why, Marge, I believe you're supposed to scratch your ass with it.'
Marge: Marge: 'Cigars are for rich people and legendary comedians like Bill Crosby and David Letterson.'
Marge Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Homer: Homer: 'Jimmy is such an ugly word, Marge, unless you're talking about Jimmy Smits.' [lascivious purr]
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: Homer calling international numbers: 'Operator, get me Thailand. T-I- and so on.' Later: 'How's everything on your end? That's some language you got there. And you talk like that 24-7, huh?'
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer · Marge: Homer: 'We do have to have a party!' Marge: 'No parties!' Homer: 'What about par-tay?' Marge: 'No par-tays, no shindigs, no keggers, no hootenannies, no mixers, no raves, no box socials.'
Doctor · Mr. Burns: Doctor examining Burns: 'Well, isn't that odd? It's like poking through meringue.' Burns: 'Oh, try this arm. I saw some blood in there the other day.'
Moe · Homer: Moe: 'How about Tuborg, the beer of Danish kings?' Homer: 'Mmm. Danish.'
Lenny · Carl: Lenny and Carl: 'We're just watching the sun move across the sky. When it gets to here, we can drink again.'
Moe · Homer: Moe: 'Once you get 12 miles out, there's no laws at all. That's where they held the Tyson/Secretariat fight.' Homer: 'They were so drunk!'
Moe Homer Absurdist Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Homer: Homer steering boat: 'Turn! Left! Boat go there!' with passengers cheering chaotically
Homer Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Unknown man: Man on ship: 'They're rebroadcasting major league baseball with implied oral consent, not express written consent, or so the legend goes.'
Moe: They're rebroadcasting major league baseball with implied oral consent... not express written consent, or so the legend goes.
Moe Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Sea Captain: Sea Captain: 'Arr, I now pronounce ya man and cow.' [Cow moos]
Doctor · Mr. Burns: Doctor: 'Mr. Burns, I'm afraid you are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything.' Burns: 'You mean, I have pneumonia?' 'Yes.' 'Juvenile diabetes?' 'Yes.' 'Hysterical pregnancy?' 'Uh, a little bit, yes.'
Doctor: Mr. Burns, I'm afraid you are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything.
Doctor Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Doctor: Doctor's explanation with visual aids: 'Here is the door to your body. You see? And these are oversized novelty germs. That's influenza, that's bronchitis, and this cute little cuddle-bug is pancreatic cancer.'
Doctor Visual Gag Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Doctor: this cute little cuddle-bug is pancreatic cancer
Doctor Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Doctor · Mr. Burns: Doctor demonstrates Three Stooges syndrome with germs: 'Move it, chowder head!' Burns: 'So what you're saying is I'm indestructible.' Doctor: 'Oh, no, no. In fact, even a slight breeze could—' Burns: 'Indestructible.'
Mr. Burns · Doctor: So what you're saying is I'm indestructible. Oh, no, no. In fact, even a slight breeze could- Indestructible.
Homer: Homer looking at land people: 'Look at those poor saps back on land with their laws and ethics. They'll never know the simple joys of a monkey knife fight.'
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Coast Guard officers: Coast Guard: 'Looks like another homosexual party boat. They always have such nice things. Perhaps we should pay them a visit. A deadly visit? Well, let's play it by ear.'
Homer · Pirate: Pirates board boat. Homer: 'Are you friendly pirates?' Pirate: 'Uh, not really, no.'
Lenny: Lenny getting robbed: 'Whoa! They're poking every nook and cranny- well, every cranny anyway. So far, the nook is relatively— Oh, no! No, it isn't!'
Lenny Escalation Wordplay/Pun Homer: Homer fighting pirates, gets rope burn: 'Oh! Oh! Charley horse! Charley horse! My mouth! I, eh— In the net, right?'
Homer Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Carl · Homer: Carl: 'Oh, we're gonna die, and I never tasted cantaloupe!' Homer: 'Eh, you didn't miss much. Honeydew is the money melon.'
Carl Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Pirate: Pirate: 'And now we will cut you loose. For liability purposes, it is the ocean that will kill you, not us.'
Pirate: For liability purposes, it is the ocean that will kill you, not us.
Homer · Unknown man: Homer on floating in net: 'What about the people on the bottom?' 'They're the greatest heroes of all.' Guy at bottom: 'Hey! Something's clawing at my leg! Okay, it stopped.'
Mr. Burns: Burns: 'Echh! The foul stench of youth!'
Mr. Burns · Smithers: Burns discovers damaged monkey: 'Furious George! What have they done to your beautiful face?' Smithers: 'This monkey is going to need most of your skin.'
Homer: Homer looking at Forbes list, sobbing: 'I can't even finish! I want to be rich! Like these guys!' Continues crying: 'Look at all these rich people here! Not as rich as they should be, of course, but still rich!'
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Top Episodes — The Simpsons
