Homer and Bart befriend a diving horse at a county fair. They turn it into a racehorse with an attitude, whose success runs them afoul of mysterious, tree-dwelling jockeys.
WAR
32.8
Wins Above Replacement
“Saddlesore Galactica” ranks #491 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 72.0 — Solid. The episode packs 72 scored jokes at 3.2 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.3 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer · Jockey: Why are you talking like that? - [High-pitched Voice] These are our real voices. [Normal Voice] We only talk like this on your surface world.
Homer: Son, I learned everything I needed to know from The Horse Whisperer. Step one: Seduce a lonely housewife.
Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Good luck getting a horse to eat dog food.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Vietnam veteran: I.D.? Man, Charlie didn't ask for I.D. when I fought at La Choy and Chun King. I saw my best friend's head explode at Margaret Cho.
Homer: Marge, your pro-mop/anti-horse agenda has been clear for some time.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 72 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer Running Gag Physical/Slapstick Lisa: I hate to be a killjoy, but do you really think we can win playing 'Stars and Stripes Forever'? It's so Beginner Band. And we're Advanced Beginner Band.
Lisa Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Band teacher · Lisa: You mean something... just arranged by Sousa? - No, something fresh and bold. - Well, darling, you have lost me.
Bart: Hey, Grandpa, the Civil War's over.
Bart Character Comedy Observational Unknown male character · Lisa: Hey, the blonde broad's got a point. We need something with a little ring-a-ding-ding. - Take your arm off me. - Ooh, this kitten's got claws.
Vietnam veteran: I.D.? Man, Charlie didn't ask for I.D. when I fought at La Choy and Chun King. I saw my best friend's head explode at Margaret Cho.
Marge · Homer · Vietnam veteran: Homer, give him the 50 cents. - Why should I? Did my country give me a parade? - No, man. They spat at me and- Just go. - Thank you. This closes the saddest chapter in American history.
Salesman · Homer: Folks, how often have you opened your morning paper only to have the rubber band fly off and hit you right in the eye? - Never. But it's my number-one concern.
Homer: A little late for Lenny.
Homer Dark/Subversive Reaction Beat Homer: It's B.T.O. They're Canada's answer to E.L.P. Their big hit was 'T.C.B.' That's how we talked in the '70s. We didn't have a moment to spare.
Homer Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Crowd member: No talkin'! No new crap! 'Takin' Care of Business' now!
Homer: I stand by my disappointed groan.
Homer Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Homer: Check out Lisa. She's a sax machine. Makes me think I should have done something with my life. Oh, well. [Slurps]
Homer Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Barney: Makes me think I should have done something with my life. Oh. well. [Slurps]
Barney Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Unknown judge: Beautiful. Just beautiful. This is what 'comptrolling' is all about.
Band member: Anybody got a building permit? 'Cause we nailed it.
Judge · Second judge: That is the best version of 'Living in America' I've ever heard. - Third best for me.
Lisa: 'Stars and Stripes Forever.' Oh, man, they're toast.
Lisa Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Lisa: Glow sticks? But visual aids are against the rules.
Lisa Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Judge: Well, it's not going to be easy to pick a winner. But I think one school red, white and blew us all away!
Judge Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline Lisa: I hope you enjoy your plaque, cheater!
Lisa Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Judge: Well, I was going to give you the Good Sportsmanship Award but now I'm just going to be sick.
Judge Setup/Punchline Reaction Beat Homer: Look, Lisa! It glows! Whoo!
Homer Character Comedy Reaction Beat Lisa · Marge · Bart: You mean state unfair. - Yeah, right. That's what I meant, Lisa. State unfair. - Zing!
Homer · Marge: See, Marge? I told you they could deep-fry my shirt. - I didn't say they couldn't. I said you shouldn't.
Homer Marge Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Homer: See, Marge? I told you they could deep-fry my shirt.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: I wish people would stop telling me to 'step right up.'
Homer Observational Character Comedy Lou · Chief Wiggum: You gotta stop being so trusting, Chief. - I'd rather let a thousand guilty men go free than chase after them.
Homer: Good luck getting a horse to eat dog food.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Comic Book Guy · Homer · Family: Excuse me, but I believe this family already had a horse and the expense forced Homer to work at the Kwik-E-Mart with hilarious consequences. - Anybody care what this guy thinks? - [All] No!
Marge: Well, except the mop. [Slurping, Crunching]
Homer: Marge, your pro-mop/anti-horse agenda has been clear for some time.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: Now let's look in the rule book and see if horses can play in the NFL. D'oh!
Homer Character Comedy Running Gag Lisa · Marge: Dear Mr. Rresident - What are you doing, Lisa? - I'm writing a letter to President Clinton about that travesty of a band contest.
Marge · Homer: It's the only fire extinguisher endorsed by both Lynda Carter and George Foreman. - I wonder what would happen if they had a baby.
Homer: Son, I learned everything I needed to know from The Horse Whisperer. Step one: Seduce a lonely housewife.
Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: [Whispering] When the race starts, run really fast.
Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Homer: You're... beau-ti-ful.
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Callback Jockey 1 · Jockey 2: Just once I'd like to ride clockwise. - Really? I thought I was the only one.
Homer · Track worker: Hey, where do you get those metal dealies for his feet? - You mean horseshoes? - Hey, what's with the attitude? I just want some dealies.
Moe · Barney: That horse better win or we're taking a trip to the glue factory. And he won't get to come. - Yeah, that's a great tour. But you can't see it all in one day.
Moe Barney Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Race announcer: He hasn't even left the starting gate.
Race Announcer: What's this? Number five. Duncan... the horse no one expected to do anything. isn't doing anything.
Race announcer: What a shame the race is already over.
Homer · Bart: Oh, wait. You were number five? You! You stink! - Damn good.
Homer: All those other horses will be shaking in their horse dealies.
Homer Character Comedy Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Homer: Ladies, say hello to Furious D! He's the bad boy of racing. He's got attitude and 'baditude', so show him some latitude, and you'll win his gratitude. Only in America!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Lisa · Homer: Ew! You used my bracelet for a nose ring. - Possessions are fleeting.
Lisa Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Rich man: That's my third monocle this week. I simply must stop being so horrified.
Rich man Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Marge · Betting clerk: Can't I just bet that all the horses will have a fun time? - Yeah, I think you want that line.
Lisa · Marge: Mom, I think you might be developing a gambling problem. - Hey, I'm watching you.
Lisa · Marge: Mom, I think you might be developing a gambling problem. Hey, I'm watching you.
Unknown spectator · Second spectator: Ah, man! That horse don't take no guff from nobody. - Guff? - I mean sh-
Homer: Man, I got more trophies than Wayne Gretzky and the pope combined.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer · Jockey: Why are you talking like that? - [High-pitched Voice] These are our real voices. [Normal Voice] We only talk like this on your surface world.
Jockey · All jockeys: All a lie. What woman would marry us? We're freaks. - [All] Freaks. Freaks. Freaks.
Jockeys: All a lie. What woman would marry us? We're freaks. [All] Freaks. Freaks. Freaks.
Jockeys Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort Jockeys · Homer: We'll eat your brain. - My horse must lose.
Homer · Jockey: Did that really happen, or was it just a wonderful dream? - No dream. Lose the race, fat boy.
Homer: Well, it is a good life. Believe me. [Laughs]
Race announcer: Welcome to the Springfield Derby, the fifth and penultimate duel of racing's Triple Crown.
Race Announcer: Could it be? In a bizarre twist, a horse is abusing a jockey. Might this be the start of a terrifying planet of the horses?
Race announcer: Might this be the start of a terrifying planet of the horses? In this announcer's opinion, almost certainly yes. And away I go.
Bart: I can't stress enough how easy it was to win this prestigious race. And furthermore- Hollywood is leading our kids down a moral sewer. Gotta go!
Bart Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Bart: I can't stress enough how easy it was to win this prestigious race. And furthermore- Hollywood is leading our kids down a moral sewer. Gotta go!
Bart Misdirection Character Comedy Jockey · Homer: We'll give you gold. - Son, go get me a trash bag.
Jockeys · Homer: We'll give you gold. Now that you're a champion. you have your pick of the fillies. [Shudders] Yeah. she's the best.
Homer: Ooh, can you imagine- her face on her body?
Homer Character Comedy Visual Gag President Clinton · Lisa: Yeah, hi. I'm here to see Lisa Simpson. - [Gasps] You read my letter?
President Clinton · Lisa: If things don't go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true. - That's a pretty lousy lesson. - Hey, I'm a pretty lousy president.
Lisa · President Clinton: That's a pretty lousy lesson. Hey. I'm a pretty lousy president.
Comic Book Guy: Worst episode ever.
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