Homer decides to buy a computer after turning up to the Plant to find it closed by e-mail. He then creates his own website and it eventually gains attention when he posts gossip. Homer dubs himself as "Mr. X" to conceal his identity. When he reveals that he is Mr. X, he becomes drugged into a mysterious island where people who know too much are imprisoned after Homer starts writing conspiracy theories such as flu shots.
WAR
28.7
Wins Above Replacement
“The Computer Wore Menace Shoes” ranks #505 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 71.4 — Solid. The episode packs 61 scored jokes at 3.0 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.3 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Comic Book Guy: There's no emoticon for what I'm feeling!
Homer: Computer, kill Flanders.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Bagel Shop Owner: Oh, who am I to point the finger? I once ran over a guy in a parking lot and dumped the body on a golf course.
Agnes Skinner · Seymour Skinner: [Agnes] Seymour! Are you looking at naked ladies? / No, Mother. / You sissy!
Homer · Moe: Hey, Moe, can you keep a secret? / No. / Not even a little one? / No! / What if I just whisper it! / No, I tells ya!
All Jokes — 61 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer · Lenny: What's an e-mail? / It's a computer thing- Like an electric letter. / Or a quiet phone call.
Homer: That does it! I'm getting a computer- As soon as somebody lets me out of here. [Rattling] Oh. [Laughing] I'm so stupid.
Homer Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Computer Store Employee: Well, do you need a paperweight? Because if you buy that machine, that's all you're gonna have, is an expensive paperweight.
Computer Store Employee · Homer: Only suckers buy out-of-date machines. Uh, you're not a sucker, are you, sir? / Heavens, no! / Oh, good. Because if you were, I'd have to ask you to leave the store.
Computer Store Employee · Homer: That's the same computer astronauts use to do their taxes. / I was an astronaut. / Of course you were.
Computer Voice: [Recorded Voice #1] You are on your- [Voice #2] Fifth. [Voice #1] mortgage.
Homer: Computer, kill Flanders.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Ned Flanders · Homer: Did I hear my name? My ears are burning. / [Whispering] Good start. Now finish the job. / [Chuckling] Oh, you're busy. Catch you later, 'computator.'
Homer: Oh, $5,000 for a computer, and it can't handle a simple assignment.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: Ooh, a dancing Jesus.
Homer Dark/Subversive Observational Homer: If there's a better use for the Internet, I haven't found it.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Computer Voice: You have chosen 'No,' meaning you've committed a crime but don't want to confess. A paddy wagon is now speeding to your home.
Website Voice: If you've committed a crime and you want to confess, click 'yes.' Otherwise click 'No.' / You have chosen 'No,' meaning you've committed a crime but don't want to confess.
Computer Voice: You have the right to remain fabulous.
Bart · Homer · Lisa: I got suspended from school today. / What do you think of my page, Lisa? / They found a switchblade in my locker. / I took a swing at a cop. / I'm just mad all the time.
Homer: They can't sue me if they don't know who I am. I'll just call myself 'Mr. X.'
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Lisa: Well, a Web page is supposed to be a personal thing. You've just stolen copyrighted material from everyone else.
Lisa Setup/Punchline Observational Homer · Lisa: That lousy pothole! Why don't they fix it? / I heard Mayor Quimby spent the street repair fund on a secret swimming pool for himself.
Homer · Marge: Nelson has never steered me wrong, honey. / You know, it might have been Jimbo. / Beautiful! We have confirmation.
Seymour Skinner: There's no emoticon for what I'm feeling!
Comic Book Guy: There's no emoticon for what I'm feeling!
Agnes Skinner · Seymour Skinner: [Agnes] Seymour! Are you looking at naked ladies? / No, Mother. / You sissy!
Kent Brockman · Mayor Quimby: Good Lord! We've discovered the ruins of an ancient city. / Okay, you do better.
Homer · Marge: Now I know exactly how God feels. / Do you want turkey sausage or ham? / Bring me two of every animal.
Kent Brockman: Coming up: How do they get those dogs to talk on the beer commercials? Cowboy Steve will tell you.
Homer: No way. Mr. X is gonna keep on diggin' and probin' until every person in this town is in jail.
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Abe Simpson · Bagel Shop Owner: A coconut bagel? Like poison it tastes! / All right, I'll tell you a secret. My bagels are nothing but week-old doughnuts.
Bagel Shop Owner: Oh, who am I to point the finger? I once ran over a guy in a parking lot and dumped the body on a golf course.
Chief Wiggum: But I assure you, the police do not take prisoners out of their cells and race them... anymore.
Reporter · Chief Wiggum: What about using the electric chair to cook chicken? / Yeah, all right, this press conference is over.
Carl · Homer: Are you him? Are you Mr. X? / No. / But you talked in that real sly voice. / Hey, hey, everybody! Homer's Mr. X! / I am not! Or... am I? / Are you? / No!
Homer · Moe: Hey, Moe, can you keep a secret? / No. / Not even a little one? / No! / What if I just whisper it! / No, I tells ya!
Homer: # I've been sittin' on the toilet # All the livelong day ##
Homer Wordplay/Pun Absurdist Homer: # I've been sittin' on the toilet # All the livelong day ##
Homer Physical/Slapstick Wordplay/Pun Mr. Burns · Terrorist: Then it's agreed. I'll supply you terrorists with deadly uranium. / You are a credit to the great Satan. / Oh, pshaw.
Pulitzer Committee · Homer: Unfortunately, we don't know who he is so his cash award will be used to feed starving children. / No! Move! Move! I'm Mr. X! Gimme! Gimme!
Homer: No! Move! Move! I'm Mr. X! Gimme! Gimme!
Homer Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Marge · Homer: I'm proud that you won the Pulitzer- Finally. But I do feel bad about the starving children. / They're with God now. / Oh, well, that's good.
Marge · Homer: But I do feel bad about the starving children. / They're with God now. / Oh, well, that's good.
Lisa · Homer: Well, you can't post news if you don't have any. That's a great idea. I'll make up some news!
Marge: At least take off your Pulitzer Prize when you say that.
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Visual Gag Homer: New race discovered living six inches under Denver. All named Morton- Or Mortinson.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Homer · Cletus · Cletus's Kids: They're controlling our minds with flu shots. I knew it! / Well, kids, now aren't you glad we don't believe in inoculations? / [Both Moaning] Yea!
Homer: Real news is great, son, but I'm getting a thousand hits an hour with grade 'A' bull plop.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Homer · Apu: [Thuds] Stop it, Apu. You're scaring me. [Whimpering]
Homer Apu Physical/Slapstick Cringe/Discomfort Homer · Number Six: I am not a number! I am a man! / And don't you ever- Oh, wait. I'm Number Five. / Ha, ha! In your face, Number Six!
Number Six: Number 27 there knows how to turn water into gasoline. / Number 12 knows the deadly secret behind Tic Tacs. / And I invented the bottomless peanut bag.
Homer: I want answers now or I want them eventually!
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Homer: That's impossible. All my stories are bull plop. Bull plop!
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Villain · Homer: To drive people into a frenzy of shopping. That's why flu shots are given just before Christmas. / Of course. It's so simple. / Wait. No, it's not. It's needlessly complicated.
Fake Homer · Marge: [With German Accent] Marge, honey, fraülein, I'm home. / You're not my husband. / Ja. Please forgive my unexplained two-week absence. To make it up to you, we will go out to dinner at a sensibly priced restaurant then have a night of efficient German sex.
Fake Homer · Marge: Marge, honey, fraülein, I'm home. / You're not my husband. / Ja. Please forgive my unexplained two-week absence.
Marge: Well, I sure don't feel like cooking.
Marge Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Lisa · Fake Homer: There's something really different about you, Dad. / I am a new tie wearing.
Number Six: It's made out of toilet paper rolls, toothpicks and plastic forks and the sail is made of scabs and dynamite.
Homer: Why did you think a big balloon would stop people?
Homer Observational Deadpan/Understatement Homer: Yes! Fight and struggle. [Groans] If I know me, he won't like being kicked in the crotch.
Homer Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Homer · Fake Homer: If I know me, he won't like being kicked in the crotch. / [Groans] Gott in Himmel!
Homer: Bad dog. [Laughing] Once you get used to the 'druggings,' this isn't a bad place.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Homer · Lisa: Once you get used to the 'druggings,' this isn't a bad place. / Oh, it's wonderful- Truly God's country.
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