The Simpson family has to find temporary residence while their house is fumigated for termites. When they run out of options, they decide to become contestants on a reality show where families live in the manner that people did in 1895. The family is initially miserable, but slowly adapt to their new life, which causes the show to lose ratings. The producers decide to try to boost viewers by dumping the house in a river and forcing the family to survive in the wilderness. However, the Simpsons find a bunch of rejects from other reality shows and they attack the producers.
WAR
60
Wins Above Replacement
“Helter Shelter” ranks #175 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 80.9 — Elite. The episode packs 79 scored jokes at 4.4 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: 1895? Forget it. We'd be too late to save Lincoln and too early to save Kennedy.
Homer Observational Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer: Yes. If he's smart, he'll hold out for millions. Whoo-hoo! I got skybox tickets. And with only 20 percent loss of my brain function. Life is... [MUMBLES]
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer: So this has become a game of wits, has it? Perhaps my other eye will get to the bottom of this.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Homer: I would never sign that. Unless there was a red sticker that said sign here.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Marge: Uh, ha, ha. My hair isn't really blue.
Marge Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy All Jokes — 79 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: Yes. If he's smart, he'll hold out for millions. Whoo-hoo! I got skybox tickets. And with only 20 percent loss of my brain function. Life is... [MUMBLES]
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer: Can't beat a skybox. All the excitement of being in the sky with the security of being in a box.
Homer Observational Wordplay/Pun Lisa · Homer · Bart · Marge: Actually, it says here we're gonna see hockey. [IN UNISON] No! [PEOPLE SCREAMING]
Attendant · Homer: Would you care for some cologne? You have anything with ground-up whale in it? But of course.
Bart: It's like Moby's house on Cribs.
Bart Observational Meta/Self-Referential Homer · Painter · Larry Holmes: Can you paint me knocking out Larry Holmes? Certainly. Don't hit my face. Okay, where do you want it? I don't know. Work the stomach.
Larry Holmes: Mm. That takes me back.
Homer: Check out those non-skybox losers watching hockey without sushi.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Barney · Otto: Let's take Mr. Figgy Pudding down a peg. Otto, what are you waiting for? Get your ass on my neck.
Barney: Oh, great. And I just got all that gum out of my armpits.
Barney Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Barney: All right. A people tooth. Gummy Sue, this is your lucky day. There. Now I is like Britney Spears.
Barney Character Comedy Observational Homer: This is a joke. You'll find me down with the real fans standing ankle-deep in beer and blood.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Marge · Homer: Fine. Watch your stupid Eagles concert. It's a hockey game. Whatever.
Lisa: Aim for the five hole. He's got an opening the size of Red Square.
Lisa Observational Wordplay/Pun Kozlov: Thank you, mouthy American child. Please to take my hockey tree.
Kozlov Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: They've already told the skybox fans who's gonna win.
Homer Observational Meta/Self-Referential Homer: Because she took the trouble to wander away and talk to a stranger.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Flanders: Well, cock-a-diddily-doo. What a Marge-alicious way to start my Flander-rific day.
Bart: Hey, Ma, our crap shack's going to hell.
Bart Character Comedy Observational Exterminator: These are no ordinary termites. What you've got here are Russian No-wood-niks.
Exterminator: Okay. But in order to kill these bugs, I've got to live like a bug, think like a bug, become a bug.
Homer: I go by how funny the sign is.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Exterminator: I had to use the good poison. It comes with James Coburn's picture on the bottle.
Homer: We'll just hang out in front of the house beside these garbage cans. The time will just fly by.
Homer Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Bran Producer: I'm just gonna say it. We haven't had a good idea since Raisin Bran.
Marge: I do not want another lecture from a German backpacker about how we don't appreciate the National Park System.
Marge Observational Character Comedy Homer · Bart: That's Lenny? Oh, I wanted the black one.
Lenny: Oh, I share a common wall with a jai alai court.
Lenny Absurdist Observational Lenny: Ha-ha-ha. That's the sound of the pelota hitting the fronton. I find it soothing.
Lenny Character Comedy Absurdist Comic Book Guy: I'm chairing a meeting of the Galactic U.N. My apologies. The paint is still wet on Ambassador Farfoon.
Marge: We are not staying at Moe's. Maggie's already drunk on the fumes. And she's a mean drunk.
Marge Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Moe · Homer: We can eat the loser. Pfft. Who wants to eat a loser?
Homer: 1895? Forget it. We'd be too late to save Lincoln and too early to save Kennedy.
Homer Observational Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Moe · Homer: You could save McKinley. It's not a time machine, Moe.
Moe Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Marge: Hey, if TV can give Mike O'Malley a home, it can give us one.
Marge Observational Meta/Self-Referential Mitch Hartwell: And by creator, I mean I saw it on Dutch television and tweaked the title.
Producer: But isn't the dad Bill Cosby?
Homer: Argh! I'll teach you to whistle on the Sabbath!
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Mitch Hartwell: They go to pieces over nothing. They're perfect for reality TV.
Marge: Oh, you look adorable, Lisa. Your school chums are going to be so jealous of your little outfit.
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Bart: I look like Buster Brown. Whoever that is.
Bart Observational Character Comedy Bart: Wow, they had an Army helmet under every bed?
Bart Character Comedy Misdirection Homer: Befoul an Army helmet? You'd like that, wouldn't you, hippie?
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: Ooh, please be a melon baller. Please be a melon baller.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Marge: Uh, ha, ha. My hair isn't really blue.
Marge Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Homer: Finally. I'm no longer a slave to the Gillette corporation.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Producer: Oreos? Sorry, these are from 1896. Non-scarring toilet paper. Ha. Dream on.
Producer: Urkel-O's. Delicious but forbidden.
Producer · Marge: I don't believe they had those in 1895. Yes, they did. Look closer. Ooh!
Producer: Twenty-three skidoo.
Homer: Maybe I could wuther your heights?
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Homer: Maybe I could wuther your heights?
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Bart: 'Mutt and Jeff' comics are not funny. They're gay, I get it.
Bart Observational Character Comedy Lisa: Ugh. Bread tastes like clothes. I'm so cold. All of you stink so much.
Lisa Character Comedy Escalation TV executives: This is great television. Yeah. I can't wait to see which one of them dies first.
Homer: And when you're on TV, you dig in your claws and you never let go. Just like Bill Meyers.
Homer Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Delivery Boy · Homer: Telegram for Haywood U. Cuddlemee. Haywood U. Cuddlemee? Big guy in the back, Haywood U. Cuddlemee? Hey-- Oh.
Homer: I'm gonna drive a golden spike where your Union meets your Central Pacific. Stop.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Bart: I thought I was regular before, but I was wrong.
Bart Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Lisa · Marge: Oh, I wish you would reconsider the proposal of Hiram Beatwife. He's betrothed to Martha Takeapunch.
Marge: He's betrothed to Martha Takeapunch.
Marge Wordplay/Pun Absurdist Lisa · Squiggy: Why is the guy from Laverne & Shirley living in our house? Because nobody's watching you clowns.
Squiggy: If you was to ask me, you're all too calm and happy. The essence of drama is conflict. That's why they gave me this Taser.
Lisa: The network made our show more exciting by dumping the house in a river.
Lisa Observational Deadpan/Understatement Marge: This rope was woven from handlebar moustaches.
Marge Absurdist Character Comedy Marge: You monsters. You turned this show into a Survivor clone.
Marge Meta/Self-Referential Observational Homer: I would never sign that. Unless there was a red sticker that said sign here.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Crew member · Producer: Do we get lunch? We're not allowed to interfere with the reality of the show. Which reminds me, burn the leftovers. Leave nothing.
Crew Member · Producer: Do we get lunch? We're not allowed to interfere with the reality of the show. Which reminds me, burn the leftovers. Leave nothing.
Tribe Members: We're not savages. I'm a paralegal from Cleveland. And I'm a nutritionist from Santa Fe.
Tribe Member: I just couldn't eat any more kangaroo testicles. The weird part is, now I can't get enough of them.
Former contestant: So the show just abandoned us here. The weird part is, now I can't get enough of them.
Marge Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Producer: Is it so gosh-darn hard to get cocktail sauce in the middle of the Amazon?
Homer: Now we know what it feels like to be tormented. And yet I learn nothing.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch TV Narrator: Law & Order: Elevator Inspectors Unit.
Homer: TV was the one good thing in my life and now I can't enjoy it any more.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer: Hmm. The water's off. I'll use my eye to see what the trouble is. [HOMER YELLS]
Homer Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Homer: So this has become a game of wits, has it? Perhaps my other eye will get to the bottom of this.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — The Simpsons
