The Simpsons take in a country singer Homer used to manage who owes back taxes to Springfield. She is now destitute, so the family tries to help her get back on her feet.
WAR
55.6
Wins Above Replacement
“Papa Dont Leech” ranks #205 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 80.0 — Elite. The episode packs 65 scored jokes at 3.3 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: How could a man just abandon his family? By which I mean, what is the method he would use, and could anyone do it?
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Grandpa: I'm sick of this song! / I don't like this one either... too optimistic! Too slow! Too fast! No zazz! Too much zazz! More boogie! Less woogie! My back hurts! All my friends are dead!
Grandpa Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Royce: Can you forgive me, Lurleen? The way that I immediately forgave myself?
Royce Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: I told her not to go into one of those.
Homer Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: So I say we roll up our sleeves, and fake a disaster to trick the federal government out of relief money.
Homer Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 65 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Bart · Grandpa: Dad, are you sure you're okay to drive at night? It's night?!
Grandpa: Tommy Dorsey's All-White Orchestra... to a time when girls were girls and a Hershey bar was as thick as a phone book
Grandpa Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Grandpa: I'm sick of this song! / I don't like this one either... too optimistic! Too slow! Too fast! No zazz! Too much zazz! More boogie! Less woogie! My back hurts! All my friends are dead!
Grandpa Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart · Grandpa: Nice one. Thanks. Oh, no, we're gonna die.
Grandpa: Eventually I'll die in your home, which'll hurt the resale value
Grandpa Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Grandpa: I was having the most wonderful dream. I always wake up just before the good part.
Grandpa Observational Character Comedy Lisa · Quimby: The money helps us serve the community. We plant trees, pick up litter, cut up milk bones for old dogs... / It was rhetorical question. / And I used rhetoric in my answer?
Quimby: We spent all our money on that new slogan for Springfield.
Quimby · Lisa: If you don't give me those cookies, I'll pass a law forcing your organization to accept gay scout leaders. / I would strongly support that measure.
Homer: do you mean really broke, or uh, 'O.J. Simpson broke'?
Homer Observational Setup/Punchline Quimby: I've been reduced to using this cheap novelty gavel. Order! Order! [gavel breaks]
Quimby Visual Gag Physical/Slapstick Homer: So I say we roll up our sleeves, and fake a disaster to trick the federal government out of relief money.
Homer Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Moe: Rip off the federal government? Mmm, I have reservations... for dinner in five minutes.
Moe Misdirection Setup/Punchline FEMA Official · Quimby: Now, when exactly did the hurricane pass through your town? Er, uh, five minutes ago. You just missed it.
Quimby: And that's how a fake FEMA official scammed us out of $2,500. We are now worse than broke.
Quimby Irony/Sarcasm Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Tax Official: Everyone from... Comic Book Guy to... Milhouse! No one shall be spared!
Lurleen · Kermit: Bunk with me tonight, Kermit / Bunk with me tonight... / Uh, really, Lurleen?
Bart: Dad was Colonel Homer and he wore that awesome suit and Lurleen wanted to bunk his brains out!
Bart Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Marge: Kids, marriage is like a car. Along the way it has its bumps and dings, and this country can't make one that lasts more than five years.
Marge Observational Misdirection News Reporter: With penalties, interest and the celebrity resentment tax, that sum has grown to $12 million.
Homer: I told her not to go into one of those.
Homer Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist ★ Rewatch News Reporter · Crowd: Not for any reward, but for the pleasure of destroying someone they once admired. Save some for me!
Krusty · Crowd Member: Got her! / Krusty? / I just want to win one thing in my life! / It's not real. / Don't you dare ruin the moment!
Homer · Lurleen: Look at those idiots. I bet Lurleen's a million miles away right now. / Hey, Homer.
Lurleen: Shh! I'm more wanted than the last petal on a bloomin' onion.
Lurleen Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Homer · Lurleen · Marge · Possum: You live here? / Well, at least she's got a friend. / It's your turn to clean the toilet. / Where is it? / You're holding it.
Lurleen: Oh, it's a traditional Southern recipe: ketchup, Coca-Cola, and fricasseed possum. Just kiddin'. It's actually chicken.
Lurleen Misdirection Character Comedy Lurleen · Marge: Confederate degenerate? Southern-fried succubus? Hee-haw ho?
Lou · Wiggum: Chief, you okay? / Yeah, yeah. / Why'd you jump off the roof? / I just wanted to be extraordinary.
Bailiff · Judge: Well, I thought if we acted like The People's Court, some day we'd be The People's Court. And, uh, well, a bailiff can dream, can't he? / No, he can't.
Homer: Did it go up your nose? Between your toes?
Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Lisa: Boy, you sure have married a lot of super-hunks.
Lisa Observational Character Comedy Moe · Manuel: All right, I need you to get the rats outta the jukebox, and clean the vomit out of the pool table pockets, and then you got the job. / Oh, and you've gotta share your tips with Manuel, who's, uh, actually me with a fake moustache. Es good job. You should take it.
Moe: Oh, and you've gotta share your tips with Manuel, who's, uh, actually me with a fake moustache. Es good job. You should take it.
Moe Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Barney · Lurleen: Say, Lurleen, are you Jamaican? 'Cause 'Jamaican' me crazy. / That's sweet, but I'm not lookin' to date. / No, I'm glad you said that. 'Cause you reminded me that I'm not looking a David.
Carl · Lurleen: Hey, Lurleen, I'm going down to the rock quarry tonight to throw stones at the woodchucks. Want to come? / No. / That's okay. I understand. Someone's lookin' at a snake in her mailbox.
Homer: She turned down Lenny and Carl? That's like someone who doesn't like hamburgers or hot dogs. What could make her hate men like that?
Homer Observational Character Comedy Homer: How could a man just abandon his family? By which I mean, what is the method he would use, and could anyone do it?
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Cho Lum Kin: I've talked to over 500 men named Lumpkin. Everyone at Lumpkin, Lumpkin and Rosenthal Associates, an Asian or Pacific Islander named Cho Lum Kin... Good luck in searchings!
Royce: Lurleen? I ain't seen my little girl in 30 years. She must be what, uh, 12, 13 by now?
Royce Character Comedy Observational Royce: Oh, man. I better whiskey up these corn flakes. / She needs to see you right away! / Oh, man. I better heroin up this orange juice.
Royce Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Royce: Lurleen?! My goodness. Why, you're the spittin' image of your mother's hotter sister!
Royce Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Royce: Can you forgive me, Lurleen? The way that I immediately forgave myself?
Royce Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: I made that hug happen! Wait a minute. He's a deadbeat dad, and yet, he's getting as much love as me, a dad too lazy to run away!
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Homer · Bart: Bart, get me my suicide axe. / No suicide axe! / Later.
Lurleen · Royce: You know what I like best about this T-shirt? I'll always be able to see your face. / Oh, well, you don't need a T-shirt for that, Tootsie Pop, 'cause I ain't ever gonna leave you again.
Royce · Bart · Lisa: Just sit still in my lap! / What lap? / Yeah, all I see is a gut with knees!
Homer · Marge: Lurleen's daddy comes back after 30 years, and he's father of the year. Why can't I leave for 30 years? / Fine with me. Look, I packed you a bag. / it might be cold outside. / No problem. I bought you a hat.
Homer: Oh, I see. It's reverse psychology. Well, in that case, I'm not going, and I'm not staying. And I'll cut my steak with a spoon, then take a walk on the ceiling.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Well, in that case, I'm not going, and I'm not staying. And I'll cut my steak with a spoon, then take a walk on the ceiling.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Lurleen: Oh, Daddy, you made me the happiest girl on whichever side of the Mississippi this is.
Lurleen Character Comedy Observational Lurleen: Daddy's a deadbeat / He's leaving his daughter again.
Lurleen Callback Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Marge: Since her father re-abandoned her, she's cut the word 'pop' out of all of our foods.
Marge Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lisa: You'd think a house full of crazy people would be fun. It's actually really depressing.
Lisa Observational Deadpan/Understatement DJ: Here's a new song that's rising faster than a rocket with a rocket up its butt.
DJ Absurdist Setup/Punchline Lurleen · Marge · Homer: You're married to a kind, thoughtful genius. / Uh, yeah... / Marge, my fringes are knotted again.
Marge · Lurleen: There's only one person in the world who can tell you what to do. And that person is right here! / Santa Claus?! / No, no, that's just our old Christmas decorations.
Marge: You're not a doormat. You're a door prize!
Marge Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Homer: Regular movies... don't hold your breath. But TV movies... the sky's the limit.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Lurleen · Homer: Colonel, you're still my knight in white polyester. / Ten percent Lycra. / Oh, I noticed.
Dixie Chicks · Royce: I don't know. You're asking us to sell out our song. And for what? / Cash money. / Money? Ooh, we love money! / Really? That's great! / I'm gonna buy me a clock radio!
Royce · Dixie Chicks · Dixie Chick: Cash money. / Money? Ooh, we love money! / Really? That's great! I'm gonna buy me a clock radio!
Royce · Dixie Chicks: Okay, maybe I abandoned my daughter and stole her song, but I'm still the most honorable record producer y'all have ever met. / Well, he's got us there.
New Guy · Lurleen: Babe, need a hundred bucks for beer. / Ooh, I think he's a keeper.
Marge · Lurleen: Of all the women who've hit on Homer over the years, you're my favorite. / If you ever come near Homer again, I'll strangle you with your own hair extensions. That's right. I know.
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