A tornado touches down in Springfield which sucks up Santa's Little Helper. While Homer and Marge are out looking for the family dog, the tornado strikes again and almost takes Marge and Homer. Marge is distraught about the kids and decide to pick a guardian to care for the children.
WAR
40.3
Wins Above Replacement
“The Changing Of The Guardian” ranks #409 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 75.2 — Great. The episode packs 52 scored jokes at 2.7 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: Like all childless couples, they troll the beaches waiting for the egg-layers to wander off from their young.
Homer Observational Absurdist ★ Rewatch Chief Wiggum: What is this, a bird? It's a bird known as a crane. And it got very sick on the way over. Well, our top priority is making sure that bird gets well.
Homer: What women really want is a guy who's confident enough to go completely downhill after marriage and know she'll still love him.
Homer Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart: All you need to know is I'm a politeness monster who eats please and farts thank-yous, ma'am.
Bart Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: No one steals my kids, except me, from that theme park jail that I never told you about, except I guess I just did.
Homer Escalation Character Comedy All Jokes — 52 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Bart: Even the kids on the box look bored. They're miserable.
Bart Observational Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Bart: No! Whenever we play that, my elbow touches Dad's junk.
Bart Cringe/Discomfort Physical/Slapstick Marge: if thy tornado must take me, please let it take me to Oz. But don't let Flanders be the scarecrow.
Marge Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart: This counts as a walk!
Bart Absurdist Character Comedy Marge · Carl: What? 'Cause they rented a van and taped an antenna to the top? Not just any tape. Duct tape.
Marge Carl Setup/Punchline Deadpan/Understatement Carl · Lenny: Don't worry, Marge, we bought a ton of safety gear from a highly-respected storm chaser's widow. It's not what you're thinking. He died of a heart attack. Yeah, 80 feet up in the air.
Carl · Marge: I'd say she's prettier than a surface hoar. Hey! Surely, you didn't misunderstand my usage of 'surface hoar.' The sublimation of ice crystals that's colder than a frost point.
Homer: What women really want is a guy who's confident enough to go completely downhill after marriage and know she'll still love him.
Homer Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: It's like God's vacuum cleaner.
Homer Observational Absurdist Homer: Help me, God. What is it I'm paying you for every Sunday?
Homer Observational Character Comedy Lou: Can... always use... a good babysitter. I was just 27 years from retirement!
Lou Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Homer · Carl: He was a black guy, but his voice sounded like a white guy. Hey, excuse me for wanting to fit in.
Homer Carl Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Once again, the big banks stick it to the little guy.
Homer Observational Misdirection ★ Rewatch Kent Brockman: Police have arrived on the scene after having fled the state at the first sign of the storm.
Chief Wiggum: What is this, a bird? It's a bird known as a crane. And it got very sick on the way over. Well, our top priority is making sure that bird gets well.
Glass Cutter: Uh, want to go halfsies on a pizza? FYI, that means you get one slice.
Homer · Bart: Were you worried about me, boy? Sure. Why not? Clearly, the boy's in shock. Oh, yeah, I'm a wreck.
Homer Bart Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Homer · Marge: Connecticut? No, our state.
Grandpa · Homer: Oh, you'd let me have another chance after the way I screwed things up with you? Eh, good point. We'll find somebody else.
Herb Powell: Hi. You've reach Herb Powell. I'm poor again.
Homer · Patty: That's some impressive flute-nastics. Shut up! You can't praise her. She'll think she's smart and slack off. Then all our loving would be for nothing.
Kirk: Hey, Luanne, you always asked me what I saw in Vicky at the Walgreens. Well, I'll tell you what I saw: not you!
Kirk Setup/Punchline Cringe/Discomfort Cletus: Anything new that wanders into this house winds up in the stew pot.
Cletus Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Military guy: Give me back my pants. I've got to get back to my unit.
Homer: Wait a minute, I live here. Aw.
Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Homer: if we should fail to die together as a family.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lisa: you guys are trying to find a couple of saps to take us when Dad has a coronary in the dead of night, rolls over and crushes Mom.
Lisa Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Homer: That's where they filmed The Wire! Step on it!
Homer Observational Character Comedy Homer: That's Moe and a bag of garbage. Boy, cats sure breed a lot.
Homer Visual Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Wow, a man's stomach can be flat?
Homer Observational Character Comedy Portia: And in my free time, I prosecute record companies who withhold royalties from elderly blues musicians.
Portia Escalation Character Comedy Mav's father: I love two things: shutting up and giving away money.
Portia: No, I turned it down because Cecil Rhodes was such a racist.
Portia Character Comedy Observational Homer · Portia: Uh, say, listen, Portia. How would you and Mav feel about... um, swinging? Uh, with you guys? Uh, seems like my husband would be getting the much better deal.
Bart: All you need to know is I'm a politeness monster who eats please and farts thank-yous, ma'am.
Bart Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: It's empty. You never know when you might want to mail something.
Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Homer: It's empty. You never know when you might want to mail something.
Homer Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement Homer: You don't look a Trojan horse in the mouth.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mav: I'm going to decrease the volume of my voice and mumble so you can't really understand what I'm saying, and I'll just keep doing it until the subject...
Mav Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Suckers! Oh, wait, you've got to initial this. Checkmate.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Homer: The one thing people with kids desperately need is no kids.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Homer: Marge, no indulgence of mine ever becomes a habit.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Homer: The one thing people with kids desperately need is no kids.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Homer: I don't like the way they just rip the paper off. Santa's Little Helper, my ass.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer: No one steals my kids, except me, from that theme park jail that I never told you about, except I guess I just did.
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Homer: Like all childless couples, they troll the beaches waiting for the egg-layers to wander off from their young.
Homer Observational Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: those kids are ours, because we made them by accident.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Portia: I'm a lawyer; he's a surfer. That combination's pretty unstoppable.
Portia Observational Character Comedy Portia: you're leaving a gap in our lives that can only be filled by foreign travel, sleeping late and gourmet food.
Portia Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Bart · Homer: If you call this living. Why, you little... I do call this living. Living the way kids in India can only dream of.
Homer: I win. Win what? I forget.
Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Top Episodes — The Simpsons
