Homer joins the "Springfield Preppers," an off-the-grid survivalist group whose leader has set up a top-secret retreat outside of town to prepare for the end of the world.
WAR
51.7
Wins Above Replacement
“Homer Goes To Prep School” ranks #285 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 78.2 — Elite. The episode packs 79 scored jokes at 4.7 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.4 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: Wow! Your end of the world is better than my during the world.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Oh, my God! This unsourced, undated video has convinced me beyond any doubt!
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: I'd slash my wrists. But how, without my electric knife?!
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lisa · Homer: You'd have to wrap cheese around it. Don't you tell me how to feed you to the dog!
Homer: If Jesus had a gun, he'd be alive today.
Homer Dark/Subversive Absurdist All Jokes — 79 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Marge · Homer: Homer, I told you, don't call me 'Mom.' Sorry, Mrs. Simpson.
Homer: This isn't a learn zone. Darn it, it's a fun place!
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Fun Zone Employee: Is this a kid you'd pay ransom for?
Lisa · Homer: Dad, what would you do if you got my ear in the mail? I don't know. Feed it to the dog?
Lisa · Homer: You'd have to wrap cheese around it. Don't you tell me how to feed you to the dog!
Unknown: Welcome to the Mormon Church, America's most respectable cult.
Unknown Dark/Subversive Observational Marge · Homer: Keep an eye on the kids, Homer. Can I keep an eye on that kid?
Homer: He's fabulous. Bart and Lisa. Oh! It's always my kids.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Bart · Homer: Dad, come up, come up! Pretty, pretty please! Absolutely not! My adult frame is simply too large.
Bart · Homer: Come on, Dad! No! Never! Come on, Dad! Fine. Here I come. Crawling. So... painful. Duck walk. Infinitely worse. Ooh!
Bart Homer Physical/Slapstick Escalation ★ Rewatch Homer: Only wanted... to be fun. Shh, shh, shh. Soon you'll know peace.
Homer Dark/Subversive Absurdist Homer: I made it, kids! I am king of Learnington Castle!
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Bart · Lisa: We tricked you. Eat Nerf, Homeboy!
Homer: What cool kid thing's in here? No kids. That's what's cool.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Unknown child: I have a phone. It's very tiny.
Groundskeeper Willie: Ain't no shame in being poor, boy. What's pitiful is if you is ignorant. Is these mice pillows here for the taking?
Fun Zone Employee: I hate working here. At least at Krustyburger, you could burn yourself and go home.
Fun Zone Employee: Another stupid kid got out. I can't tell the manager. I am the manager. Duh!
Lisa: These lasers are nothing more than colored lights!
Lisa Observational Character Comedy Marge · Other Mom: Until then, why don't we bond by sharing our childbirth experiences. The nurses were so great. My husband held my hand the whole time. See? All you need to get through a crisis is a little friendly conversation. Bet you the dads are doing the same thing.
Comic Book Guy · Unknown Dad: The sneeze guard is broken! There is no law! Oh, I just came here to pick up my daughter. But now I'm gonna kill you all!
Homer · Homer · Homer: Get out of there, you! / Never! / Mmm. Butter.
Homer: Apes. Deep down, we're all savage apes. Leave your body, Homer.
Homer Observational Absurdist Homer: Well, I've taken eight months off. It's time to get back on the horse.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Ned Flanders: Hey, neighbor, your welcome mat's looking a little dusty. Mind if I come over and sweeten your greetin'. Sweeten your greetin'! Sweeten your greetin'. Three Neds are better than one!
Ned Flanders: I hate to be a nag, but this is my real head.
Homer: anarchy lurks around every corner, like a racially-diverse street gang on a network cop show.
Homer Observational Meta/Self-Referential Moe: Hey, hey, read the sign, pal, no acronyms. You see? And that goes for the rest of youse, too! Okay, okay. Hey, in this bar, we say 'Old Kinderhook!'
Moe Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Barney: America can't collapse! We're as powerful as ancient Rome!
Barney Irony/Sarcasm Observational Prepper: Close the supermarket, and we starve. Cut off the tap, we drink our cat's blood.
Homer: Oh, my God! This unsourced, undated video has convinced me beyond any doubt!
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Observational ★ Rewatch Prepper: Hey, man, no need to almost swear.
Marge: Well, Homer's gone. Let's all go into our suspended state till he gets back.
Marge Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Homer: Preppies? Oh, I hate you guys! Always partying on deck with your Docksiders while us townies are scrubbing the bilge!
Homer Misdirection Character Comedy Prepper Leader: Not preppies. Preppers. But I like your hatred. It's based on nothing. That's super.
Homer: I'd slash my wrists. But how, without my electric knife?!
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Prepper · Homer: There is an alternative to suicide. Mm. I can't conceive of any.
Homer: Don't worry. I'm very good at keeping secrets.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline Lisa · Homer: 'Impending doom.' What you reading, Dad? Honey, everything's fine. There's nothing to worry about. When grown-ups say that, it means there is something to worry about.
Homer · Lisa: Just go play your saxophone. While you can. What does that mean? Secrets? I have no secrets! Just enjoy this golden time you will soon cling desperately to the memory of. Smell some bread!
Prepper · Homer: Typical sheeple. Uh... are you eating my grain?
Prepper · Homer: That was a five-pound bag! Yeah, but I'll go home, weigh myself, and I'll have gained six pounds. What's that about?
Bart: Guys who call themselves Preacher or Deacon are very bad. Water is money, unless gasoline is money. And even though lots of things are razor-sharp, no one ever shaves.
Bart Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Movie Characters: Now the Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills will teach you the true meaning of cold! I have come from a place where the land is warm, and the only ice is made by machines called... fridge-ra-torrs. Fridge-ra-torrs! Fridge-ra-torrs! Fridge-ra-torrs!
Lisa · Homer: Aren't they just saying 'refrigerator'? Do not question the wisdom of Tom Skerritt.
Lisa Homer Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement Homer: Wow! Your end of the world is better than my during the world.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Prepper: you're not just being nice to me because in a pinch you could make candles from my fat? Well, that is a big part of it. It's okay. I know what I am.
Marge · Homer: You can't have secrets from your wife! / It's very late in the marriage to tell me that.
Marge: I thought the basement looked cleaner.
Marge Deadpan/Understatement Observational Marge: There's no handle on this side!
Marge Physical/Slapstick Irony/Sarcasm Marge: There's no handle on this side!
Marge Physical/Slapstick Irony/Sarcasm Homer: The one thing I couldn't prepare for.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Homer: I will eat anything orange except an orange.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Lisa: An E.M.P.?! You know what that means! Hand scissors.
Kent Brockman · Mayor Quimby: Mr. Mayor, what's your administration doing to ensure there's no panic? I don't know. What is your administration doing? There you have it. A town without rules, without leadership, without television. This is Kent Brockman, talking to himself.
Homer · Marge: Marge, this is it, TEOTWAWKI! 'The end of the world as we know it'? Uh-huh.
Homer · Bart · Milhouse: Boy, get in the car, and say good-bye to your best friend forever. Bye forever, Milhouse. See you, Bart.
Prepper · Homer: Is that sax alto or baritone? Baritone. This is gonna be a long apocalypse.
Homer · Bart: Write down which celebrities were rumored to be gay for future generations. Yes, sir. Society will not have to start from square one.
Homer: Well, just because I imagined it, doesn't make it any less true.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Well, just because I imagined it, doesn't make it any less true.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: If Jesus had a gun, he'd be alive today.
Homer Dark/Subversive Absurdist Marge · Homer: When I fell in love with you, it was because of your big heart and your good looks. But some day, those good looks are gonna fade. What?!
Marge · Homer: But some day, those good looks are gonna fade. / What?!
Prepper: This rifle scope I modified makes any human face look dangerous and threatening. Boom.
Marge · Prepper: Why do we have to shoot them at all? Are you that good with a knife? No! I want to help the people who didn't prepare.
Prepper · Homer: You were thinking I'd gone mad with power, weren't you?! / I wasn't, but I am now.
Bart · Homer: I've got to be honest with you. It was just a bag of rice I drew a face on. White rice or brown? I never noticed.
Homer · Lisa · Homer: If we miss it, we're dead. / Dad, there are lights following us. / How can that be? I took every last can of gas.
Homer: Now, everyone relax and pretend we're about to be hit by a soft brick wall.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: The starving people of Springfield are desperately in need of our delivery of canned corn, corn flakes and flash frozen corn niblets!
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer: Now to save these sorry souls from a life of anarchy, starvation and having sex for procreation.
Bart · Homer: Dad, you said people would be drinking each other's blood. You got to watch a VHS copy of Red Dawn 13 times! Stop complaining!
Homer · Official: The zoo animals weren't eaten? / No-- well, a couple.
Homer: This non-disaster is a catastrophe!
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Homer: This non-disaster is a catastrophe!
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Prepper · Homer: Me and the others were planning to overthrow you and seal you in a cave. Yeah, but what you didn't know was I was gonna poison all your drinking water. Which is why I'm only drinking my own urine.
Zombie Homer · Zombie Bart: Look, you can have potato chips now, or if you wait ten minutes, you can have all the brains you can eat. I want both.
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