Maggie uses one of three wishes; a mind-reading Bart rules Springfield; Homer donates his brain to Mr. Burns' science project.
Halloween anthology hits 66 jokes in 22 minutes—Simpsons' densest stretch yet.
Directed by Jim Reardon · Written by Al Jean, John Swartzwelder, Mike Reiss
WAR
48.2
Wins Above Replacement
“Treehouse Of Horror Ii” ranks #120 of 226 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.2 — Elite. The episode packs 66 scored jokes at 3.7 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Nice hot mustard, good bread... turkey's a little dry-- The turkey's a little dry?! Oh, foul the cursed thing! What demon from the depths of hell created thee?
Homer Escalation Character Comedy That board with the nail in it may have defeated us... but the humans won't stop there. They'll make bigger boards and bigger nails. Soon they will make a board with a nail so big... it will destroy them all!
Kang Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Aahh! He's got a board with a nail in it! Enslave humanity, will ya?! Run, Kodos!
Damn it, Smithers! This isn't rocket science, it's brain surgery!
Every bone... shattered... organs... leaking vital fluids... a slight headache, loss of appetite.
All Jokes — 66 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Before last year's Halloween show... I warned you not to let your children watch... but you did anyway. Well, this year's episode is even worse.
Marge Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Well, if you didn't listen to me last time... you're not going to now. Enjoy the show.
Marge Deadpan/Understatement Meta/Self-Referential Callback remember, the presidential primaries... are only a few months away. Hey, if you don't like it, go to Russia.
Aren't you a little old for this? You're not even wearing costumes. Hand over the candy, old dude, or we egg your house.
Here you go, kids. Heh-heh... heh. Lousy punks. D'oh!
I didn't select this costume for mobility. I wore it to salute the noble Native Americans of the Pacific Northwest.
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Yaahh! Ha-ha-ha!
Homer Physical/Slapstick Visual Gag Oh, yeah, everybody in this family... will have a bad nightmare tonight. Oh, yeah, three bad nightmares. I'd like to see that. Heh-heh-heh.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch What a dump! Why would Princess Grace live here?
Homer Misdirection Character Comedy Dad, that's Monaco. D'oh!
I can do that, but I don't want to.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement It is a monkey's paw, dating back to Al-Al Ben Abdallah.
I was once president of Algeria. I don't want to hear your life story. Paw me.
Why, at that little shop right over... there. Oh, it was over there.
Homer Visual Gag Misdirection You'll be sorry. Flight 7, Marrakesh to Springfield, now boarding.
Don't shoot! Don't shoot! They're souvenirs. You must pay a fine of two American dollars. Okay.
Oh, no! Maggie made a wish.
Marge Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Oh, my land! Ooh.! A luxury car. Good baby. Good Maggie. Ohh, a new pacifier. D'oh!
Look, everybody. My purse exploded!
Marge Visual Gag Character Comedy I'm terrible sorry. I have absolutely nothing untilJune. Ah, the Simpsons! Right this way, please.
If I hear one more thing about the Simpsons... I swear I'll scream. At first they were cute, but now they're annoying. 18 bucks for this? What a rip-off.
Is there anything they won't do?
Sorry about the Falklands. Oh, forget it. We knew they were yours.
Well, won't be needing these anymore.
Foolish humans. Oh, yes, Kodos. Earth is now ripe for the plucking.
Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons. Gordon, do something. What do you want me to do? I'm a baker now.
Nice hot mustard, good bread... turkey's a little dry-- The turkey's a little dry?! Oh, foul the cursed thing! What demon from the depths of hell created thee?
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Hey, is that one of those monkey paw dealies... that lets you wish for things? Yeah, but I got to warn you that this thing is-- Yeah, that's what it is. You want to try it?
Aahh! He's got a board with a nail in it! Enslave humanity, will ya?! Run, Kodos!
That board with the nail in it may have defeated us... but the humans won't stop there. They'll make bigger boards and bigger nails. Soon they will make a board with a nail so big... it will destroy them all!
Kang Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback I wish I had a monkey's paw.
Ned Escalation Irony/Sarcasm Presented for your consideration:: Springfield-- an average little town... with a not-so-average monster.
Narrator Meta/Self-Referential Setup/Punchline And did I mention that the monster... is a ten-year-old boy? Quite a twist, huh? Betcha didn't see that one coming.
Narrator Meta/Self-Referential Misdirection Every day, same old cat. I'll make him more interesting. Much better. Oh, good, the curtains are on fire.
Bart Escalation Character Comedy Much better. Oh, good, the curtains are on fire.
Bart Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement It's good that you made that awful thing, Bart. It's real good.
Marge Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy He gets it from your side of the family, you know. No monsters on my side.
Oh, wait. You're the little dude with the gnarly powers.
Otto Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement America was now discovered in 1942 by... 'some guy.' And our country isn't called America anymore. It's Bonerland.
I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt... and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.
Moe Escalation Character Comedy The ball is turning into a fat, bald guy.
It's no good, and you know what we say... Every time something strange happens-- it's good that Bart did that. It's very good.
346 consecutive hours... and all because of one little boy who-- who won't let me stop!
Krusty Escalation Cringe/Discomfort Then, when he's least expecting it, bash his head in. End of monster. Aaaaaaaaaahhh!
Homer Setup/Punchline Escalation I'm not nodding. It's the air conditioning.
Homer Visual Gag Character Comedy I'm not nodding. It's the air conditioning.
Homer Visual Gag Character Comedy You got it. Oh! Hey, hey. Oh, oh. Thanks, boy. I love you, Dad. I love you, son.
Little do they realize... their days of suckling at my teat are numbered.
Very well. Eeny, meeny, miny-- Blugh! Him!
The greatest breakthrough in labor relations... since the cat-o'-nine-tails!
How hard can it be? Hey, Dad, here's one. $28 an hour, plenty of fresh air... and you get to meet lots of interesting people. Ooh, what job is that? Grave digger.
I wouldn't bury my turtle in that mud puddle. What's the use? Sheesh! What a slave driver.
No, I didn't. Who is it, Frankenstein? The Boogerman?
The man in the bag. I think he's alive. Oh. Bad corpse. Stop scaring Smithers. Satisfied?
Damn it, Smithers! This isn't rocket science, it's brain surgery!
Look at me-- I'm Davy Crockett!
It's moving! It's alive! Oh, that fellow at Radio Shack said I was mad. Well, who's mad now?
Hi, there. I'm your daddy.
And as for you, you clinking, clattering cacophony... of collagenous cogs and camshafts, take... that.!
Every bone... shattered... organs... leaking vital fluids... a slight headache, loss of appetite.
You were crushing me. I tried to scream, but my mouth was full of flab.
Bart Visual Gag Cringe/Discomfort Perhaps you're wondering why you have two heads. My body was crushed, so I had head grafted onto your... shall we say, ample frame.
Oh, I hate having two heads.
Homer Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Oh, that's right. It's all a dream... or is it?
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