Apollo, Apollo

Jack · Liz:Jack asks if Liz is frying bacon; she says it's her new running shoes

Jack:Jack laughs dismissively at Liz's running shoes explanation

Liz:Liz explains her mail piling up and forgetting to buy toilet paper as why she hasn't RSVP'd

Jack · Liz:Jack: 'Don't wear that thing with the belt.' Liz: 'What thing with the belt? Don't hang up! I have a lot of belted outfits!'

Tracy:Tracy's press release: 'I have decided to fulfill my dream of going into space. If you have a spaceship and are looking for a hilarious astronaut with an irregular heartbeat and $30 million...'

Tracy:Tracy: 'I wrote that yesterday. I will not be taking questions.'

Dennis · Liz:Liz opens the door to Dennis: 'Hello, dummy.' Liz: 'No. Nope. Not interested. Have a good life.'

Dennis · Liz:Dennis: 'It's important. It's about my mom.' [Liz relents] Dennis: 'That was a lie.'

Dennis · Liz:Dennis: 'I recently discovered that I am a sex addict.' Liz: 'No, you're not.' Dennis: 'Yeah, I am.'

Dennis:Dennis: 'And I'd be an even worse sex addict if I wasn't so consumed with my latest business venture.' ... 'One word. Coffee. One problem. Where do you get it? Anywhere. You get it anywhere.'

Dennis:Dennis's vending machine is at '38th and 6th in the basement of the K-Mart. You just go downstairs, you get the key from David...'

Dennis:Dennis: 'I am sorry that my disease has made you a victim of my sexual charisma. I am sorry that I have ruined you for other men.'

Dennis:Dennis: 'My sponsor said that you were going to try to pick a fight to lure me into hate sex. It's not going to work, Elizabeth. My support group? It's lousy with nymphos.'

Liz:Liz: 'I have a Google News Alert for the phrase "Tracy Jordan ridiculous disaster".'

Pete · Liz:Pete: 'I think he has stuff all morning.' Liz: 'You think or you know?' Pete: 'Hang on. I'm going into a tunnel.'

Jack:Jack reads his mother's birthday card: 'Jackie, here is some of your junk. It was taking up the space my new boyfriend needed for his golf bags. His name is Paul and he doesn't want to meet you.'

Liz:Liz sees young Jack in the home movie: 'Oh, my God. Is that you? I like your little sweater vest.'

Liz · Jack:Liz: 'You threw up.' Jack: 'What? As a kid, you never got so excited, you vomited? No one does that. I mean, I've peed a little.'

Liz:Liz: 'I'm lizzing! I'm lizzing!' Then explains: '"Lizzing" is a combination of "laughing" and "whizzing."'

Jack:Jack reads from his childhood list: 'Go to Disneyland. Ride in an airplane. Kiss Peggy Fleming.' Then: 'Done, done and... oh, boy. Done.'

Jack Donaghy:Ah, well, if you want a good 'liz'... read this.

Jack:Jack's list continues: 'Live in a house with stairs. Beat up a Russian. Hit Mom with a car.'

Jack:Jack: 'Fly on a plane? I've flown on Air Force One. Go to Disneyland? Lemon, I've held Walt Disney's frozen head in my hands.'

Jack · Liz:Jack: 'I've danced with Queen Noor. I've hunted the world's most dangerous game.' Liz: 'Man.' Jack: 'Manatee. I once shot a manatee.'

Jack · Liz · Jonathan:Jack: 'Be friends with Batman.' Liz: 'There's still a couple of hours.' Jack: 'Jonathan, could you get Adam West's agent on the phone, please?'

Adam West:The talent agent answering: 'Griswald Talent Management. Representing excellence.' Agent: 'It's funny. I actually played Peter Pan on Broadway. Did you know there's a Broadway Street in Tampa?'

Adam West:Adam West doing Peter Pan harness training: 'Also, you can't have anything in your pockets.' West hands off a phone to someone, says 'Ready' and then 'I'm flying!' followed by 'Oh, my God. Why are there so many dead doves up here?'

Adam West:Oh, my God. Why are there so many dead doves up here?

Jenna · Dennis:Dennis calls Jenna on Liz's phone; Jenna, answering Liz's phone, pretends to be Liz and does a British accent

Dennis:Dennis gives his sex-addict apology to 'Liz' (actually Jenna): 'I am sorry that my disease made you a victim of my sexual charisma. I am sorry that I have ruined you for other men.'

Dennis · Jenna:Dennis: 'You know, I was the love of Liz's life.' Jenna (as Liz): 'I'm not sure you were.' Dennis: 'Oh, no. I totally was. Peace.'

Tracy:Tracy: 'What is this, Horseville? Because I am surrounded by "neigh"-sayers. Wordplay. That is solid.'

Tracy:Tracy: 'When I was a kid, growing up in the projects, I would look up at the stars and dream of going into space. Of escaping the slums. Of killing an Ewok.'

Jack:Jack: 'I don't have friends at NASA. Bunch of nerds.'

Liz · Jack:Liz: 'Ugh. I was going to go for a run today!' Jack: 'Oh. [Laughs]'

Jenna:Liz: 'The reason I have some English inflection in my speech is because I lost my virginity to the My Fair Lady soundtrack.'

Jenna · Liz:Jenna: 'Dennis and I were in a very emotional place because of Hurricane Katrina.' Liz: 'What those people were doing to the Superdome?'

Liz:Liz: 'You were trying to be an actress then, despite your neck.'

Liz · Jenna:Liz: 'Let's go give him a piece of our mind.' Jenna: 'Let's stab him.' Liz: 'Yeah, your thing.'

Jack · Kenneth:Kenneth: 'I wore nothing but hand-me-downs until I was 12 years old. But I thought you were the oldest, sir.' Jack: 'Oldest boy.'

Kenneth:Kenneth shows off his keychain: 'Look at this keychain I got. Every time you move his head, his head moves! Look!'

Jack · Kenneth:Jack wonders what Kenneth's perspective is like; the show plays swelling inspirational music as Jack imagines Kenneth seeing the world with wonder [visual gag — music swells, Kenneth sees simple gifts as magnificent]

Kenneth:Kenneth: 'You've got all of these fancy presents from business associates and this big empty house to store them in. Happy birthday, Mr. Donaghy.'

Jack:A coin rattles dramatically after Kenneth leaves, in the empty silence of Jack's big house [sound gag / awkward silence]

Dennis:Dennis: 'Oh. I get why you're here. You want me to rank you.'

Jenna:Jenna: 'You had gone on that over-30 Outward Bound trip to Arizona, and you had asked me to house sit. Well, Dennis came over. And, as I mentioned, we were both pretty torn up about Hurricane Katrina. What those people were doing to the Superdome?'

Liz · Dennis:Liz: 'I want you to understand exactly how unimportant you are. You are not the love of my life. You are not capable of hurting me. And you could never do anything to damage this friendship.' Dennis: 'It was in your bed.'

Liz:Liz: 'Aw, guys, come on! I eat in there!'

Dennis · Jenna:Dennis: 'Alright, fine. I'm ranking you now. Hey, blondie — you're number one.' Jenna: 'I don't care!' Jenna (aside): 'Thank you, Dennis.'

Adam West · Jack:Adam West introduces Jack at his own birthday party as 'Jake Dellahee'

Adam West:Adam West mid-introduction: 'But I can't stay long. I'm on a case. The Penguin's in town.'

Jack:Jack: 'It's all wrong. Uh... Everyone, go home now. Uh, the party's over.'

Party Guest:A party guest: 'I was told I'd get a meal.'

Liz:Liz arrives late to the party: 'Jack, am I the first one here? Ugh. I waited! This always happens.'

Jack:Jack: 'The closest I came to vomiting tonight was when I saw Ann Coulter's shoulder blades.'

Jack Donaghy:I'm going to find out what was inside that box, I'm going to buy it with money, and it is going to make me happy.

Jack:Jack: 'I'm going to find out what was inside that box, I'm going to buy it with money, and it is going to make me happy. And if that doesn't work, I'm going to Benjamin Button myself.'

Liz:Liz: 'We're not meeting in the middle!' [in response to Jack's Benjamin Button plan]

Pete:Pete: 'In Cape Canaveral. By which I mean, through that door. We told him he had to be blindfolded before launch to prevent "Space Madness."'

Pete:Pete: 'We put him on the Channel Four traffic copter for a couple of hours. And now, he's landed here in sunny Florida.'

Pete:Pete: 'As a child, I dreamed of being a Congressman like my father. Now, I do this. One D.U.I. in high school.'

Tracy:Tracy: 'At least it's a dry heat here in Florida.'

Pete · Tracy:The 'computer' (clearly a recorded voice) says: 'Good work, Astronaut Jordan. Now do 20 space sit-ups.'

Tracy:Tracy: 'Computer, when do I get some Tang? Also... I'm thirsty.' [Laughs] 'Wordplay.'

Jenna:Jenna: 'I felt so jacked up on the way home that I threw a brick through the window of a Banana Republic.'

Liz · Tech:Liz: 'If I learned anything from watching 24, you're going to want to zoom in and enhance.' Tech: 'Why don't you ask Jimmy what's in there? It says "From Jimmy" on it.'

Jack:Jack: 'Get me a deaf person.' Then to lip-reading specialist: 'I was told this was a job interview.'

Bystander:Bystander: 'He's mortal!'

Jenna:Jenna (on crutches): 'These crutches are real, everyone. Liz tried to kill me.'

Dot Com · Pete · Tracy:Dot Com: '"T" minus 10 minutes.' Pete: 'Quiet. Tracy is coming. Are go for launch. Star Wars.' Tracy: [Imitates Ewok]

Jenna:Jenna: 'You're no longer my plus one to the Canadian Grammys.'

Tracy:Tracy: 'I'm scared! But I'm also excited! [Laughs] Whoo! I'm lizzing!'

Jack:Jack bought a vintage Apollo Command and Lunar Module toy for $7,000 at a store where 'a morbidly obese gentleman called me "pal."'

Tracy:Tracy (on fake space radio): 'Space is very cold, but very beautiful. And sometimes it sounds like Jenna yelling in the distance.'

Tracy · Kenneth:Tracy sees Jack's Apollo toy through the porthole: 'Oh, my God! Where did you get that rocket? Mr. Donaghy is letting me hold it! It's awesome!'

Jack Donaghy:You know, I actually envy you two. Sometimes, I wish I could see the world through your eyes instead of mine.

Kenneth:Kenneth: 'Is he letting me keep this? I think so. I wish I was there so I could play with it.'

Liz Lemon · Jenna Maroney:How about on the next show, you could do that song that they wouldn't let you sing at the Inauguration? / No. 'Chocolate Rainbow' is too good for T.G.S.

Jenna:Jenna reveals Liz's past: 'When we were living in Chicago and Liz was still trying to be an actress, the only job she ever booked was for a local phone sex line.'

Jenna:Jenna: 'It was a chat line for urban singles. And they only hired her because their first choice was deported.'

Liz · Writers:The commercial plays: Liz, as 'Bijou,' says 'Hi. I'm Bijou. Call me.' Writers react with: 'Bijou!' — then 'Call us. In English, German or Polish.'

Liz · Frank:Liz: 'I have since had Invisalign.' Frank: 'That is not attractive.'

Writers:The commercial: 'That's not even enough numbers!' [referring to the phone number]

Jenna:'21 hours a day. What is this?' — The commercial runs only 21 hours a day

Kenneth:Kenneth walks past, sees the commercial, and says: 'What's so funny? Oh, is that Billie Jean King?'

Jack · Bystander:Jack laughs at the commercial, trails off looking for a comparison for how much he's laughed, then: 'Everybody, back up! Get out of the way! He's going to Jack!'

Kenneth Parcell:He's mortal! / What just happened?

Jack:Jack: 'I feel great. I feel like a kid.' Then quietly: 'Bijou.'