Jack needs to reestablish himself within the new corporate structure. Liz and Wesley continually run into each other, making them consider fate's role in their lives. Tracy's nanny writes an exposé.
Season 4's densest episode delivers 61 jokes in pure character-comedy mode.
Directed by Stephen Lee Davis · Written by Tracey Wigfield, Jack Burditt
WAR
162.6
Wins Above Replacement
“Don Geiss, America And Hope” ranks #35 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 99.2 — Elite. The episode packs 101 scored jokes at 4.1 per minute, averaging 7.6 on craft and 7.6 on impact, with Jack landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Liz: You know what I have? A Sims family that keeps getting murdered.
Liz Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Liz: Your Ben & Jerry's flavor is called Adulteraisin.
Liz Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: At one point, my obituary was going to read, 'CEO of G.E. dies violently in a casino orgy.'
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: 'Middle manager of a Philadelphia pornography distributor never wakes up.'
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Jack: That realization led him to develop the nightlight and the marketing campaign aimed at making children afraid of the dark -- a monster under every bed.
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 101 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Employee: Yeah, I'm supposed to be drinking a soda right now.
Employee Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Jack: I don't know why you're wearing girls' pajamas, but I'm sure it's cultural.
Jack Irony/Sarcasm Observational Jack: Not Seinfeld, Friends, E.R. exciting. More like 3D episodes of Merlin exciting.
Jack Irony/Sarcasm Observational ★ Rewatch Jack · Employee: Even if it is from... Philadelphia. [audience member yells] Go Eagles!
Jack: How did you even get a snowball?
Jack Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Philly Employee: Philly rules! Cheesesteaks! Bobby Clarke! Will Smith! Your town sucks.
Jack: You do not want this argument, Lemon. Boston is the greatest city in the world.
Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Liz: Boston cream pie. Boston Rob Mariano. Birthplace of Benjamin Franklin.
Liz Setup/Punchline Misdirection Jack: Yeah, then he looked around, realized it sucked, and moved to Philadelphia!
Jack Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Callback Jack: Oh, did you just whip a battery at me?
Jack Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Jack · L.A. Employee: My apologies to our friends from the great city of Los Angeles. [01:21] Hey. Stop laughing. L.A. Rules. Michael Bay, freeways, Legoland.
Jack: And the earth into one of the top three planets in the universe.
Jack Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jack: There will be an episcopal cryogenic freezing service open to all six sigma black belts and higher.
Jack Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Employee: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. Episcopal!
Employee Setup/Punchline Misdirection ★ Rewatch Callback Kenneth: I would be remiss if I didn't honor our fallen leader with a song. This is for you, Dan Goose. ♪ Amazing ♪ ♪ gra-♪ [trails off]
Kenneth Character Comedy Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch Kenneth: Kenneth begins singing 'Amazing Grace' but trails off almost immediately into silence after '♪ gra-♪'
Kenneth Physical/Slapstick Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch Callback Liz: Well, you know that scene in Notting Hill where they have the romantic date in the garden? Well, I would have rather watched that terrible movie five times than have hung out with Wesley.
Liz Setup/Punchline Observational Liz · Wesley: Well, this morning I was buying an advanced ticket for the Truffaut retrospective at the Anthology Film Archives— One for the 8:00 Hot Tub Time Machine.
Liz Wesley Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz · Wesley: Are we both seeing Hot Tub Time Machine tonight? How does this keep happening?
Wesley: If there is a god, Liz, I think that she... ugh... is trying to tell us something.
Wesley Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Liz: I had a thing where I kept running into Michael Douglas. But then I realized it was just some old lady who lives in my building.
Liz Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz: Okay. Escaped exotic animal or did he swallow another firecracker?
Liz Character Comedy Escalation Jack · Liz: I just got the call from a friend at Little Brown. The publishing house? No, the premier talent agency for black dwarves.
Jack Liz Setup/Punchline Misdirection ★ Rewatch Tracy: My addiction to prescription glasses.
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy Tracy: The fact that I suffer from attention deficit disor— Jack, your shoes are shiny.
Tracy Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Tracy: And worst of all, she revealed the fact that I've never cheated on my wife.
Tracy Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Liz: Your Ben & Jerry's flavor is called Adulteraisin.
Liz Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tracy: I start losing my endorsements, Angie's gonna be madder than a bat in a suitcase.
Tracy Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Unknown character: Gordon. Gordon. Gordon! Oh!
Wesley · Liz: I'm sorry. You have a problem with the science of Hot Tub Time Machine? Not the time travel. It's the hot tub. You don't just turn one on, and it's immediately hot. I should know. I've been in a hot tub two times.
Wesley Liz Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Wesley · Liz: Yeah. Seltzer and Mike and Ikes. What did you want? Popcorn? Yes. Popcorn? At the cinema?
Wesley: It's like being in a Cathy cartoon that just won't end.
Wesley Observational Character Comedy Liz: Oh, my god, I want to smash your face.
Liz Reaction Beat Character Comedy Wesley · Liz: So why are you in my phone as 'future husband,' and why am I in yours as 'future wife'?
Wesley Liz Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Callback Wesley: At least we'll always have Dr. Kaplan's recovery room. It was our Paris.
Jack: We brought good things to life. And bad things to Chinese rivers.
Jack Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Jack: Second only to the company of great friends.
Jack Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Kenneth: My cousin in Atlanta is a business model. She holds up staplers in catalogues.
Kenneth Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Jack: So I can prove that I am the man with the ambition, the talent, and the looking-at-my-watch skills to run this company.
Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Liz · Wesley · Dr. Kaplan: So all we need you to do is put us under anesthesia again. Wesley brought his video camera. In England, we call it a film pod.
Dr. Kaplan: My brother is a cardiologist and I'm just as good as he is. We drive the same car. So what if his wife is more attractive?
Dr. Kaplan Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Liz (under anesthesia): We are gonna hang out so much after this. I want to take you to the Big Apple Circus 'cause we're best friends.
Dr. Kaplan: And if my heart surgeon brother is so great, how come so many of his patients have died, but I've only killed one guy, huh?
Dr. Kaplan Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Frank: Say it ain't so, Tray. What about the Seattle Seahawks cheerleader? That one kind of thick Rockette? That blind woman in the business class bathroom on the Acela?
Frank Character Comedy Escalation Frank: I looked up to you. Now I hate you.
Frank Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement J-Mo / Pete: I got a lot of flack after I ate the pig that played Babe.
Tracy: I'm here to announce that I'm leaving show business to spend more time with my stripper. But it's like a black Barbie doll in Arizona. Nobody's buying it.
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tracy: But John Edwards and I were supposed to ride on their Cinco de Mayo float.
Tracy Absurdist Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Tracy: Yet another black superstar taken down by his personal life. Just like my favorite golfer, OJ Simpson.
Tracy Dark/Subversive Absurdist Jack: Remember how you tricked the owner of that toaster company into thinking you were his dead son? And he sold you the factory for $1.
Jack Dark/Subversive Absurdist Dave: I was only as good as my mentor, the man who taught me how to bait the enemy, Jack 'the Master Baiter' Donaghy.
Dave Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Jack: Oh, good god. Ass-atar. The Lovely Boners. The Hind Side. Based on the novel 'Tush' by Assfire.
Jack Wordplay/Pun Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dave: Do you know how much of our profit comes from men ordering adult movies? 91%.
Dave Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Dave: Well, buying NBC counts as a charitable donation for tax purposes.
Dave Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Dave: You're the classic American executive. You will look great standing behind our CEO at press conferences.
Dave Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Jack: I went to Harvard Business School. I'm the reason the microwave tray rotates.
Jack Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jack: 'And Alexander wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.' Hans Gruber, Die Hard.
Jack Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz: Hey, I know you're off-duty, but is there any chance you would take me to the Upper West Side? [taxi stops] Oh, good catch. Thank you so much. OW.
Liz Physical/Slapstick Visual Gag Wesley · Liz: Bloody hell! No, no, not again. That's not him, is it? [Wesley crashes into Liz on a bicycle] Gangway for footcycle!
Wesley Liz Physical/Slapstick Running Gag Callback Liz · Wesley: Stop calling it that. Yeah, fine, my velocipede.
Liz Wesley Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Wesley · Liz: The universe wants us to settle for one another. / Settling soul mates? That is grim. / And I've played Monopoly alone.
Wesley Liz Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Wesley: I could open jars and kill bugs for you, and you could make me look less gay at work functions.
Wesley Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Couple on street: You wouldn't be complaining if you wore the shoes I bought you. / You're an old bitch.
Wesley · Liz: Grow old with me, Liz? In separate bedrooms? No way.
Wesley Liz Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Wesley · Liz: You'd have someone to tell you when you're about to step in something. Ah, nerds!
Jack: Lemon, I'm not in the mood to solve your lady problems or listen to a story about whatever escapee from the island of misfit toys you're currently dating.
Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Liz: No, this is a Liz relationship emergency. It's a Liz-aster.
Liz Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Liz · Jack: Ever since I was little— No, faster than that. My whole adult life— No! Oprah says— You have ten seconds.
Jack: Is it? Maybe you should settle. Everybody settles.
Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jack: At one point, my obituary was going to read, 'CEO of G.E. dies violently in a casino orgy.'
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: 'Middle manager of a Philadelphia pornography distributor never wakes up.'
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Jack: Maybe it is the perfect business. A perpetual motion machine endlessly satisfying every human need.
Jack Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Jack: I'm going to bury Don Geiss, America, and hope.
Jack Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jenna: I saw some women came forward to say you didn't have sex with them.
Jenna Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline Tracy: Somebody leaked my voicemails. 'Hey baby, it's your husband. So I'm at Bed Bath & Beyond and I can't remember, did you say to get metal or wood shower curtain rings? Oh, you're calling me on the other line. I can't wait to talk to you. I love you.'
Tracy Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Tracy: She says I better have an affair and quick before it tears our family apart.
Tracy Absurdist Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Jenna: I wish I could help you, but I can't sleep with a black guy. I'd lose my endorsement deal with NASCAR.
Jenna Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Tracy: Hello, Elizabeth. May I offer you a succulent fruit? [15:30] Let me do a dance for you, my lover.
Tracy Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tracy: I can't have sex with you, Liz Lemon. I love Angie too much.
Tracy Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Liz: You know what I have? A Sims family that keeps getting murdered.
Liz Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Tracy: One day you will have what I have because you're an amazing, strong, and intelligent woman like Hilary... from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
Tracy Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tracy: Ugh! I'm sorry. I was still riding the vibe from earlier.
Tracy Character Comedy Reaction Beat Callback Jack: I'll never forget the first thing he ever said to me. 'These are all hookers. Pick one.' Then after we picked our hookers and the plane took off, he told me his business philosophy.
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: Don was the one who realized there was a whole segment of consumers not buying light bulbs. The asleep. That realization led him to develop the nightlight and the marketing campaign aimed at making children afraid of the dark — a monster under every bed.
Jack Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jack: That realization led him to develop the nightlight and the marketing campaign aimed at making children afraid of the dark -- a monster under every bed.
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Jack: I'm sorry. But I just had an amazing business idea. You'll have to excuse me.
Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jack: Gentlemen, there is a giant segment of consumers who are not buying our most lucrative product. Three words: Porn for women.
Jack Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Kabletown Executive: Jack, women hate porn almost as much as men hate going to outlet malls.
Jack: But women do have one insatiable need. To jabber. And it doesn't matter if you have a headache or you're not in the mood... they barge right into your office and start complaining about a boyfriend or a coworker. And you're supposed to sit there and nod and tell them they're right. And the more you give it to them, the more they want it.
Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Kabletown Executive: I'll tell you, sometimes my wife will be blathering on about something, and I'll think: I'm more than just a pair of ears. You know, I'm a person who thinks about sex every seven seconds.
Kabletown Executive: I'll tell you, sometimes my wife will be blathering on about something, and I'll think, 'I'm more than just a pair of ears. You know, I'm a person who thinks about sex every seven seconds.'
Jack: So what if women had a pay-per-view channel featuring handsome men patiently listening to them? What if they had... Porn for women?
Jack Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Callback Wesley · Liz: Don't you see this is just gonna keep happening? You can't fight the universe. / No, this isn't a coincidence. I wanted to see you, and I figured you wouldn't miss a tasting of the white wines of Scotland.
Wesley: Most restaurants refuse to serve them.
Wesley Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Liz: Oh, yeah, you've only told me that, like, nine times.
Liz Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Wesley: Are you ready to settle and become Mrs. Snipes?
Wesley Setup/Punchline Misdirection ★ Rewatch Wesley · Liz: That is insane! No, it's insane that the actor Wesley Snipes has that name. If you saw a picture of him and a picture of me, and you were asked, 'who should be named Wesley Snipes?' You'd pick the pale Englishman every time.
Wesley Liz Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Wesley · Liz: Frankly, you should be having this conversation with him. Yeah, I'm gonna go do that.
Wesley: I give you two months before you give up and decide to settle! I'll see you in May! For sweeps! That's what we call spring cleaning in England.
Wesley Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch TV Actor / Porn for Women channel: 'Cause I'll just listen patiently and say things like, 'Uh-huh,' 'How annoying,' 'She's clearly jealous of you,' and 'Well, it's his loss.' You're a great woman. You deserve a great man. For just $24.95 an hour.
Female viewer · TV Actor: Yes, please. / It's the yellow button, sweetie.
