Jack and Liz search for new talent as they travel to Kenneth's hometown. Jenna makes an attempt to become friends with the writers. Tracy fears he may die next after a pair of celebrities pass away.
Absurdist escalation drives 56 jokes in 38 minutes—30 Rock's densest fourth-season output.
Directed by Don Scardino · Written by John Riggi
WAR
132.7
Wins Above Replacement
“Stone Mountain” ranks #91 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 96.2 — Elite. The episode packs 87 scored jokes at 4.2 per minute, averaging 7.6 on craft and 7.5 on impact, with Jack Donaghy landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Jenna Maroney: I want two good sketches a week, a promise to hate the new cast member, and no more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references. Okay? Are we cowabunga on this?
Kenneth: The usual, I suppose. Two hobos sharing a bean... lady airline pilots.
Kenneth Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Kenneth: Although when the Parcells first came to America, they lived in a town called Sexcriminalboat.
Kenneth Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Kenneth: Oh, no, sir. It's a chuckle hut. You see, the chuckle is the part of the pig between the tail and the anus. But at night, the chuckle hut becomes the laugh factory, and that's a comedy club.
Kenneth Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Liz Lemon: Why are you people laughing at this? You're supposed to be better, nicer, but you're terrible. You're all terrible, just like the people in New York.
Liz Lemon Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Observational All Jokes — 87 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Liz Lemon: I had to give up my window seat to some seven-year-old who had to sit next to her precious mommy.
Jack Donaghy: You're not going to find him in the people's gay-public of Drugifornia.
Jack Donaghy: Canada? Why not just go to Iraq?
Liz Lemon: Jack, just say Jewish. This is taking forever.
Liz Lemon Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Unknown man: Who wants... my puddings! [man falls and is hurt]
Unknown · Tracy Jordan: Fred Dawkins, the incredibly overweight guy that Pac-Man was based on, died last night. / I will eat a bowl of cherries and some ghost meat in his honor.
Jack Donaghy: Orange and black decorations? Is this Halloween or Princeton Parents' Weekend? I don't know whether to be scared or proud of my cousin.
Jack Donaghy: But this 'almost all saints' day' isn't gonna be much of a celebration.
Unknown · Jack Donaghy: I just heard that world-famous clog dancer Jugbert Cody has gone to a better place. / He's in Cabo?
Unknown: But at least he died doing what he loved... blogging on the Huffington Post.
Unknown: The rule of threes... celebrities always die in groups of three.
Jack Donaghy: This is gonna be the scariest Princeton Parents' Weekend ever!
Jenna Maroney: Start over, you hack! [Jenna kicks open writers' room door dramatically]
Jenna Maroney: I'm not gonna be pushed aside and forgotten, like that time at my sister's funeral.
Kenneth: Florence Henderson used to bake cookies for the Brady Bunch writers. And, in return, they wrote her the role of a lifetime — as her own grandma Hutchins.
Jenna Maroney: I don't really remember the Brady Bunch, 'cause I was too young.
Kenneth: Although when the Parcells first came to America, they lived in a town called Sexcriminalboat.
Kenneth Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack Donaghy: Do you think that's Cherokee?
Jack Donaghy Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Kenneth: The usual, I suppose. Two hobos sharing a bean... lady airline pilots.
Kenneth Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Kenneth: Oh, no, sir. It's a chuckle hut. You see, the chuckle is the part of the pig between the tail and the anus. But at night, the chuckle hut becomes the laugh factory, and that's a comedy club.
Kenneth Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Frank · Writers: Remember last year? [flashback implied: party guests complain about writers' party from across the street]
Frank: It's a magical night where women dress slutty and drink too much, where we can hide our bodies in bulky costumes.
Frank Observational Character Comedy Frank · Jenna Maroney: Up is down. Black is white. Good is evil. And evil... becomes good. [Jenna enters with cookies]
Jack Donaghy: That's ridiculous. / That said, I would prefer if you take the next one.
Tracy Jordan · Jack Donaghy: So this all started when their plane crashed? / That's Lost. / Oh, right.
Tracy Jordan: I met J.J. Abrams once. And I don't know what this means, but he said the Island is just Hurley's dream.
Jenna Maroney: Oh, wow, they painted the ceiling in here. [Jenna looks up at the ceiling she clearly hasn't looked up at before]
Liz Lemon · Jack Donaghy: There are plenty of core American values in New York. / But there are not restaurants called Fatty Fat Sandwich Ranch.
Jack Donaghy: Lemon, if this is going to play out like lunch, I suggest you crack your window now and save yourself the embarrassment in 20 minutes.
Jack Donaghy: I'd rather hear you sing Rocket Man again.
Liz Lemon: I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
Jack Donaghy: What a surprise... your world view is food-based.
Liz Lemon: I will have the carp po'boy with extra chuckle.
Liz Lemon Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Tracy Jordan: Keep refreshing. Maybe Andy Dick has died in the last 20 seconds.
Betty White: Are you calling because the Pac-Man guy and Jugbert Cody died? Is this a 'rule of threes' call?
Betty White: Nice try, Jordan, but I am going to be at your funeral. I will bury you.
Betty White Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Liz Lemon: Oh, this carp sandwich is not agreeing with my world view.
Liz Lemon · Hotel Clerk · Jack Donaghy: New York people, always in a real big... / hurry, yeah. / No, it's not because we're from New York. We're all the same sandwiches.
Liz Lemon · Hotel Clerk · Jack Donaghy: Liz is amazed and charmed by the hotel clerk's enthusiastic recitation of peach festival items. Jack and the Southerner exchange a look about Manhattan.
Hotel Clerk / Southern Man: You know what they should do with people like her? They should round them all up and put them on an island. Oh, wait, they already have. It's called Manhattan. Down here we call it Sexcriminalboat.
Frank: How can a dude in a midriff top dominate me like that?
Frank Character Comedy Observational Jenna Maroney: Last year my girlfriends and I went to Mario Cantone's party in a renovated barn in Chelsea.
Jenna Maroney: Oh, my God, we go so crazy. We kiss each other, get into vans, black out. I mean, I'm engaged, but not on Halloween.
Lutz: God, are you doing this to me 'cause I took that blind guy's hot dog?
Lutz Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack Donaghy: You probably know him as 'hick at the reception desk,' but his name is Travis Hoagle, and he brought you something for your stomach.
Liz Lemon: 'Peppy Bismilk'? Why is everything a little different here? I hate it!
Jack Donaghy: Choir member, desert storm veteran, father of three? / I made all that up, but you get my point.
Rick Wayne · Pumpkin (ventriloquist dummy): Hey Rick, what's the difference between your girlfriend and your truck? / I don't know, pumpkin. What is the difference? / Your truck don't yell at you every time you get gas.
Jack Donaghy: Jack applauds Rick Wayne's terrible ventriloquist joke with 'Wonderful. Bravo.'
Jenna Maroney: Oh, don't look at me like I'm a football game.
Jenna Maroney: They're using me to get invited to gay Halloween so they can meet hot girls.
Jenna Maroney: [Jenna immediately deduces the writers' gay-Halloween plan from their faces] Oh my God! They're using me to get invited to gay Halloween so they can meet hot girls.
News Anchor: Metro news: Mary Hillman is going to Gaffney for the weekend and hopes that Martha or Stephanie will water her plants.
News Anchor: And now an update on... very small town.
News Anchor: In entertainment news, local funnyman and sub-shop owner Rick Wayne has been hired by a Catholic to appear on TGS with a black fella.
Jack Donaghy: See, you think you're not this prejudiced, arrogant New Yorker, but you are, because in your mind, a southern ventriloquist act can't be funny.
Jack Donaghy: Sure, some of these people are simple, but some of them are smart, like Matlock... or wholesome, like Elly Mae Clampett. And some of them are skeevy dirt bags, like the Dukes of Hazzard, driving around like maniacs. Children use those roads.
Jack Donaghy: Do you know what I did this morning? I assisted in the birth of a foal. They named it Jack. / And it was delicious.
Tracy Jordan · Kenneth: You look clean. / You a celebrity? / I have my own show on NBC. / No. Celebrity. / I was in a movie with Queen Latifah once. / Perfect. I'll show you the shortcut.
Kenneth Parcell · New Cast Member (Danny?): Hi, I'm trying to get to Studio 6B from here. I'm still finding my way around. You look clean. You a celebrity?
Kenneth Parcell · New Character: I have my own show on NBC. No. Celebrity. I was in a movie with Queen Latifah once. Perfect. I'll show you the shortcut.
Kenneth · Tracy Jordan: Mr. Jordan! Are you trying to kill Mr. Fallon with that hammer? / Is this a 'rule of threes' thing?
Tracy Jordan: But if some celebrity doesn't die soon, I'm gonna kill my first guest tonight. It's a dog who plays soccer.
Pete · Liz Lemon: Oh, my God, you're gonna heckle him, like that time I invited you to see my cover band. / Yeah, and today the world is better off without the Pete Hornberger Alan Parsons Project project.
Liz Lemon: You know, and today the world is better off without the Pete Hornberger Alan Parsons Project Project.
Liz Lemon Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz Lemon: I may be dehydrated. I may still be working a little chuckle out of my system, but don't worry.
Liz Lemon Callback Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Lutz: Get it? I'm an Italian senator.
Lutz Visual Gag Character Comedy Jenna Maroney · Writers: With one word, I can make it all go away. / What are you talking about? / Cut the crap. You boys are just pretending to like me to get in on gay Halloween.
Jenna Maroney: And with one word, I can make it all go away.
Jenna Maroney: I want two good sketches a week, a promise to hate the new cast member, and no more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references. Okay? Are we cowabunga on this?
Jenna Maroney: But if I wake up in any of your apartments tomorrow morning, you will buy me breakfast.
Announcer / MC: All right, the last pig is in the chuckling chute. And we're now the Laugh Factory.
Liz Lemon: I'm sorry, I didn't know it was filthy, thin-lipped hooker night here at the Laugh Factory.
Rick Wayne · Pumpkin: Knock, knock. Who's there, pumpkin? / A ferret-faced skank. / Yep, I see her too.
Pumpkin (Rick Wayne): I don't go down to where you work and stop them from milking you.
Jack Donaghy: Rick, Pumpkin, what are you doing? A gentleman, whether he's human or somehow more than human, does not speak to a lady like that.
Jack Donaghy: A gentleman, whether he's human or somehow more than human, does not speak to a lady like that.
Jack Donaghy Character Comedy Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Pumpkin (Rick Wayne): Oh, I get it. You think 'cause we talk like this, we're all simple and quaint. Well, I'm an amateur astronomer, and Rick's black wife speaks French. Her name's Jamilla.
Liz Lemon · Rick Wayne: See, I told you. There's no 'real America.' / You shut that dog rectum you call a mouth?
Liz Lemon · Rick Wayne: Why are you people laughing at this? You're supposed to be better, nicer, but you're terrible. You're all terrible, just like the people in New York. / All God's children are terrible.
Liz Lemon: Why are you people laughing at this? You're supposed to be better, nicer, but you're terrible. You're all terrible, just like the people in New York.
Liz Lemon Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Observational Rick Wayne: Do you ever find smaller heads orbiting your head?
Jack Donaghy · Rick Wayne: I'm a tall man, and it's proportional to my frame. / Your frame? What are they building there... a super Walmart?
Jack Donaghy · Pumpkin (Rick Wayne): You come down here and say that. / I can't. I got a man's arm stuck up me. / But you know what that's like.
Jack Donaghy: I can't believe I bought a Fatty Fat Sandwich franchise!
Pumpkin (Rick Wayne): Oh, God, he's murdering me. His head is so much bigger up close!
Jack Donaghy: The deal's off, Wayne. Lemon, to the Kia Sorrento!
