Jenna hatches a surprising new plan to get publicity, while Jack finds himself begrudgingly playing parent to his teenage nemesis, Kaylie Hooper. Liz rejects the new authority Kenneth has over “TGS” with his new job in Standards.
Standards obsession backfires: 65 jokes in 24 minutes, yet character depth keeps it grounded.
Directed by Beth McCarthy-Miller · Written by Vali Chandrasekaran
WAR
70.5
Wins Above Replacement
“Standards And Practices” ranks #73 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 84.8 — Elite. The episode packs 65 scored jokes at 2.7 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Jack landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Kenneth: A Parcell man has never been called 'mister' outside of an execution chamber.
Kenneth Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Tracy: My brain is working overtime. I finally understand the ending of The sixth sense. Those names are the people who worked on the movie.
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy Jack: but having glimpsed yet another tile in the rich mosaic that is your menstrual history.
Jack Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Kaylie: So, Jack, how's your wife? Still kidnapped?
Kaylie Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Kaylie: This has nothing to do with you!
Kaylie Misdirection Character Comedy All Jokes — 65 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Hank: Last time I was this excited was this morning. I saw a cat wearing the same sweater as its person.
Hank Observational Deadpan/Understatement Kaylie: So, Jack, how's your wife? Still kidnapped?
Kaylie Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Kaylie: Not that it matters, even if Brock doesn't win, he is going to get a record contract. So, it definitely doesn't matter. This isn't the last we will be seeing of Brock.
Kaylie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jack · Unknown: Kidz is a hit the whole family can watch together, not your usual sitcom crap full of gratuitous vulgarity and pratfalls. My penis!
Jenna: Now, of course, none of these little condom accidents could actually make me cry
Jenna Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Jenna: It's an old acting trick I learned from Glenn Beck's prostitute.
Jenna Dark/Subversive Absurdist Tracy: That was my angriest hug, 'cause that's how I feel right now.
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy Tracy: The Federal Clown Commission. I hope that comes off as respectful. My father was a clown, and I know how hard those men work.
Tracy Wordplay/Pun Absurdist Jack: People have forgotten about that thing, but any white male can arrest any other person.
Jack Dark/Subversive Observational Kenneth: Because of last night's cluster-whoops
Kenneth Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Tracy: I feel like Oscar the grouch today, and not just 'cause I woke up in a garbage can this morning, startling someone named Gordon.
Tracy Absurdist Misdirection Tracy: You're the one who solved that? Thank you so much.
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy Tracy: 1997 Heather Locklear, what are you doing here?
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy Liz: God. Don't adopt. That child is better off in Somalia. It could be a pirate, or a warlord's concubine.
Liz Dark/Subversive Escalation Jenna: Cashing your dead aunt's social security checks? No, I'm still doing that.
Jenna Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Jenna: the calumet city egg donation center and house of blues
Jenna Absurdist Wordplay/Pun Liz · Jenna: Hang on, are you saying you have a kid? No, I don't. I have six kids.
Jenna's child: Jerome, share the bronzer, you slut.
Jack: Little league tryouts are coming soon. How would you like to wind up on a team with... None of your friends?
Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Ava: What are you doing to Molly? She already had to live through world war ii.
Ava Absurdist Dark/Subversive Ava: Like a human silly band!
Ava Absurdist Character Comedy Kaylie: I'm tall enough now that there isn't a roller coaster in the world I can't go on.
Kaylie Character Comedy Observational Kaylie: You guys drink beer. Or are you babies?
Kaylie Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jenna: Left, left, right, right, left... Judy.
Jenna Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jenna: If you want to get to know me, read my 2006 interview in AmTrak magazine.
Jenna Character Comedy Absurdist Kenneth: No, 'Kenneth' is short for andromakennethamblesorton.
Kenneth: I'm surprised they allow you to say 'doctor.' It's so close to 'gynecologist' which is disgusting.
Liz: Kenneth is being a real... dingbat, which is now the harshest word we are allowed to say.
Liz Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm Jack: That's why I hired a Cato to attack me at random. Like inspector clouseau.
Jack Character Comedy Absurdist Jack: Excellent, Cato, excellent!
Jack Physical/Slapstick Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Jack: Autocorrect. I was trying to say 'pen organizer.'
Jack Absurdist Misdirection Jenna's child: God! You're a winter!
Multiple children · Judy: I'm sorry, Judy. Bye, Judy. Could've just gotten another chair.
Jack: I'm very good at voices, Kaylie. I'm very good.
Jack Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Kaylie: This has nothing to do with you!
Kaylie Misdirection Character Comedy Jack · Kaylie: Isn't that just a sweat shop? I know!
Jack: I once took a log with googly eyes to a father-son picnic.
Jack Character Comedy Absurdist Kenneth: No, there's only one of me. What? What are you asking?
Kenneth: You can't say 'using' on TV. It implies drug use.
Kenneth: I am responding, I am matching your tone, and making my own point.
Kenneth Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Kenneth: I stole that speech from an episode JAG, but it applies here.
Kenneth Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tracy: Tomorrow is my colonoscopy. Today was my meeting with Colin o'Scopy.
Tracy Wordplay/Pun Absurdist Jack: Well, I was voted head of the PTA, so no.
Jack Character Comedy Absurdist Jack: then on to that last bastion of the incompetent rich, USC.
Jack Observational Character Comedy Liz: She's vicious and vulnerable.
Liz Observational Character Comedy Jack: but having glimpsed yet another tile in the rich mosaic that is your menstrual history.
Jack Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Jenna: and you guys are suckling on prosthetic dog teats that I'm wearing.
Jenna Absurdist Dark/Subversive Jenna · Jessica: That's Hugh Hefner, Jessica. Yeah, we have no idea who that is, so you're kind of just proving our point.
Tracy: and sit down and pee in silence, like dudes do.
Tracy Absurdist Observational Kenneth: without Liz Lemon yelling at me, and I just wish I had never been born!
Kenneth: and boss around those Jewish executives that were trained from birth to argue?
Kenneth Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Kenneth Toilethole: You should just smack that Liz in the mouth.
Kenneth Toilethole: You should just smack that Liz in the mouth.
Kenneth · Kenneth Toilethole: I'm Kenneth, by the way. Me too. I'm Kenneth. Kenneth... uh... Toilethole.
Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Kenneth: A Parcell man has never been called 'mister' outside of an execution chamber.
Kenneth Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Jenna: They threw me away like I was some kind of Judy.
Jenna Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Tracy: My brain is working overtime. I finally understand the ending of The sixth sense. Those names are the people who worked on the movie.
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy Jack Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Tracy: You know why I love Dominican women? 'Cause they love to those big 'Cause they eat all our aloud.
Tracy Meta/Self-Referential Physical/Slapstick Gaylord Felcher: I'm promoting you, you little -face.
Kaylie: I just had fruit roll-ups for dinner... At a strip club.
Kaylie Character Comedy Misdirection Kaylie: Her name is Jack... ie. Jackie... officecouch.
Kaylie Character Comedy Misdirection Liz: You know, I'm starting to suspect that I have bad luck.
Liz Deadpan/Understatement Observational Kenneth: You know, I'm starting to suspect that I have bad luck.
Kenneth Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy 