Jack feels unworthy of his latest award and attempts to redeem himself by taking on the writers in a strategic board game. Liz believes she's cursed on St. Patrick's Day when her ex-boyfriend Dennis shows up to derail her relationship with Criss. Meanwhile, Hazel struggles to keep the peace between Tracy and Jenna.
St. Patrick's Day episode hits 90.6 with 3.11 jokes per minute across 78 gags.
Directed by John Riggi · Written by Colleen McGuinness
WAR
123.2
Wins Above Replacement
“St. Patricks Day” ranks #111 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 95.1 — Elite. The episode packs 80 scored jokes at 3.2 per minute, averaging 7.6 on craft and 7.5 on impact, with Liz landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Jenna: It's like sex, but your husband isn't looking at a picture of a bridge.
Jenna Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jack: 'Unicorn,' a death ray.
Jack Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Tracy: Also, TV viewers liked when in a show is a song. ♪Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling♪ ... Don't you dare fade out on me.
Tracy Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Priest: First of all, he was born in fourth century Ireland. He might as well have been born in a grave. His only worldly possession was no snakes.
Priest Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Frank · Jack: And you would presume to wield the scepter of Thalbain? / Yes. Yes, I would.
Frank Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 80 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Jack · Tracy · Jenna: Wake up, mother-. / Die, demon! / Why didn't you ever call me back?
Jack: Unfortunately, unless Harry's Law really took off this week and no one told me, you two are the biggest stars at the network.
Jack Irony/Sarcasm Observational Hazel: I'll take care of Tracy and Jenna like they're my own children. Which is a bad example, because I left my kids at a Sears in 2004.
Hazel Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Kenneth · Hazel: He's only allergic to allergy medication. But he loves it.
Hazel: The U.S. Rodeo Association does not lift lifetime bans.
Hazel Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jack: Don't you want to celebrate Ireland's great accomplishments, like Michael Lohan and vomiting into a bagpipe?
Jack Irony/Sarcasm Observational Liz: I will be wearing head-to-toe orange, in honor of Protestant William of Orange, inventor of the Orange, according to Yahoo Answers.
Liz Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Observational ★ Rewatch Liz: Criss and I are going to ride out hurricane shamrock holed up in my apartment, laughing at excerpts from Angela's Ashes.
Liz Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Liz: Oh, what are they going to do about it, write a meandering play about how amazing the Irish are at not overcoming adversity?
Liz Irony/Sarcasm Observational Jack: Well, I'm sorry we can't all belong to ethnic groups as beloved as the Germans. Please, without Germans, you wouldn't have any of the Indiana Jones movies.
Jack Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Jack · Liz: After all, I am your mentor, you dated Dennis Duffy, and in the '90s, you gave money to the IRA. / I thought it was contributing to a retirement account.
Jack Liz Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz: What is that? A curse? Take it back, you witch!
Liz Character Comedy Reaction Beat Liz · Criss · Radio Host (Ira Glass parody): This American Life, Saturday, March 17th... Hey, what are you doing? Get out of my studio! Happy St. Patrick's day! Let go of me! Didn't you hear my show on bullying?
Liz · Criss: Look at them spin around. They're so confused. It's too many Megans, right?
Criss: I just ordered thai food. How much do you love me now?
Criss Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Liz: You know what, I can't wait till the Asians take over. Thank God for delivery, keeping us inside and safe from all the Irish nonsense.
Liz Irony/Sarcasm Observational Dennis · Criss: I tried to steal beer from a Duane Reade, and some black guy cold-cocked me. / Ooh, like a security guard? / I don't know, pal. I don't see people that way.
Dennis Criss Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm Tracy · Jenna: Oh, Michael Jackson's ghost... / Oh, Great Kabbalah monster...
Hazel: NBC is showing the promo I worked on for the parade! I'm famous.
Hazel Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jenna · Tracy: They said my name first. / But I'm more famous than you.
Tracy: Like on the set of Ocean's 12, when I put that snake in George Clooney's bed. I was not in the movie.
Tracy Character Comedy Absurdist Jenna: I'll replace your lizard with a gay guy in a giant champagne bottle.
Jenna Character Comedy Absurdist Tracy Character Comedy Absurdist Tracy: I get second billing to this small-boobied grandma?
Tracy Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jenna: The only baloney Tracy has is the baloney he's full of.
Jenna Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Callback Jack: Jenna thinks that Christina Aguilera lost her voice during childbirth.
Jack Character Comedy Absurdist Hazel: I don't like the way you're talking to me. Why don't we drive to Sears? I'll buy you a toy.
Hazel Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Frank: None of the writers can go out on St. Patrick's day because we all have faces people naturally just want to punch.
Frank Character Comedy Observational Deadpan/Understatement Frank: Colonizers of Malaar. It's a strategy board game from the makers of Goblet Quest and Virginity Keep.
Frank Absurdist Character Comedy Jack: You have a monopoly on wheat. But what happens if you overproduce, flood the markets? Prices drop, your economy collapses. You've got to diversify, Frank. It's basic capitalism.
Jack Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Frank · Jack: Uh, unicorns? / Can you breed and sell them? There's got to be a market for unicorns. If I've learned anything from reading Liddy's princess books, unicorn hair has magical properties. You've got to know your product, Frank.
Jack: 'Unicorn,' a death ray.
Jack Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Dennis: Hot dog truck, huh? I went entrepreneur, too. I got this new business where I burn your old DVDs onto laserdisc.
Dennis Character Comedy Absurdist Observational Dennis: I don't have health insurance because of Obama.
Dennis Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Criss · Liz: I was a volunteer EMT. At Burning Man. And we agreed never to talk about that. At sunset, the cacti start to resemble people looking for hugs. It gets ugly, Liz.
Criss Liz Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Absurdist Dennis: You know, there's some things I miss about being with you, like having somewhere to hook my SEGA up to, but this constant judgment...
Dennis Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dennis: I can't get into an ambulance. I don't have health insurance because of Obama.
Dennis Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jenna: It's like sex, but your husband isn't looking at a picture of a bridge.
Jenna Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Hazel: Duh! After you PMS-ed about their names yesterday, I thought numbers would make everyone happy.
Hazel Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Pete · Hazel: They're both reading host number one. / Would a third host help? I am SAG eligible, but I will only do nude stuff if there's a mirror behind me.
Lutz · narrator/game result: I'm playing two timber and one brick to build a bridge and establish a trading post in Midgar. / That failed... And the Orcs raped everybody.
Jack: Don't you see what you're doing? You're creating a real estate bubble, and the only person who'll benefit is Sue, who'll buy up all the neutral land for cents on the dollar. Thanks a lot, Klootzak.
Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Frank · Jack: And you would presume to wield the scepter of Thalbain? / Yes. Yes, I would.
Frank Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Liz: Dennis Duffy is like the Terminator with cheaper sunglasses. He just keeps coming back, because his potato brain thinks he still has a chance with me.
Liz Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Dennis · Liz: Hey, Liz, you'll be back. / If I ever see you again, I'll kill you. / You'll be back. / Never again! / You'll be back, Liz Lemon. / You'll be back.
Dennis Liz Running Gag Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Jack · game/Frank: Ugh, three again? / And your yak... has smallpox.
Liz · Jack (phone): Rockefeller, no! What? Dennis is here. Take back your curse. This isn't funny anymore.
Jack: Oh, really? You're cursed? Try ruling over the desert wastelands of Kroth with no spell cards.
Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Absurdist Jack: The desert of Kroth is Kabletown. I've got to get some fresh air.
Jack Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Callback Dennis · Criss: I should take the hot dog truck out after the parade, and sell empty buns to drunk people.
Liz: Oh, my God, Criss, he's just trying to get me alone so he can start a gas leak or claim squatter's rights or hit me over the head, and when I wake up, we're on our honeymoon. At SeaWorld.
Liz Character Comedy Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Liz · Criss: And once again, the puppet will become the puppet master. / What does that mean, 'once again'? That's not a thing.
Liz Criss Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Reaction Beat Criss: Dude, you missed the end of the lez movie. Their daughter, she goes off to college, and Mark Ruffalo, he's just gonna do his own thing with the restaurant.
Criss Character Comedy Absurdist Callback Dennis: She's a card girl at kangaroo boxing matches, so she's got a body, and she's loaded. Her grandfather invented the stop sign.
Dennis Character Comedy Absurdist Liz · Criss · Dennis: Liz realization: 'Wait, Megan is real?' followed by explaining she said 'I love you' to Dennis as a tactical bluff.
Tracy · Jenna: He should have said my name first. Roker should be on my side. / Why, because you both have had huge weight fluctuations?
Tracy Jenna Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Hazel: By starting a fire and then rescuing everyone from it? And then I'm a hero and then I'm Playboy?
Hazel Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jack · Priest: I feel helpless. Impotent. / Whoa, buy me a drink first. / Sorry, we've been instructed to keep it light.
Priest: First of all, he was born in fourth century Ireland. He might as well have been born in a grave. His only worldly possession was no snakes.
Priest Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jack: By the scepter of Thalbain!
Jack Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Hazel: The first car is here for whichever one of you wants to leave first.
Hazel Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Tracy: Why do I keep doing this stuff? Is 70 not a good IQ?
Tracy Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Tracy: I had to beg to take over for Andy Rooney. And it did not go well. / When I was a kid, you could get a prostitute for $5.
Tracy Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Tracy: A year ago, I won an Oscar. Now look at me. I had to beg to take over for Andy Rooney. And it did not go well. / When I was a kid, you could get a prostitute for $5.
Tracy Character Comedy Absurdist Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Tracy: I'm scared, J-Mohr. And not just 'cause today's the day that guy that tried to kill me gets out of jail.
Tracy Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Kenneth · offscreen driver: Know this, Hazel. I will always be here... For them and for you. Nothing can ever make me... / Move your car.
Jack · Frank/writers: I'd like to spend my remaining gold... to purchase a fire spell. / Against whom will you be casting this spell? / Against myself. I am setting fire to my own desert.
Jack · Frank: I'd like to spend my remaining gold to purchase a fire spell. / And against whom will you be casting this spell? / Against myself. I am setting fire to my own desert.
Jack: You see, it doesn't matter if I'm on the wind-blown dunes of Kroth or in the fluorescent-lit boardrooms of 30 Rockefeller Plaza. I will create something from nothing. Today Malaar... Tomorrow Kabletown.
Jack Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Frank · Sue: Your highness, you may take your right as king. / I am a virgin... with white guys.
Frank Sue Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Misdirection Criss: All right, mustard only. There you go. Enjoy your bun.
Criss Callback Visual Gag Character Comedy Callback Liz: More importantly, I have never been with someone for longer than nine months. You and I have been together for six, so I assume something will go wrong soon. You'll tell me you believe in ghosts, or I'll reveal that I am terrible at expressing my feelings.
Liz Character Comedy Observational Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Criss · passerby: Wait, is now the time on St. Patrick's day when we talk about our feelings? / I don't understand your art, Kevin.
Liz: These are the only green things I own. / More importantly, I have never been with someone for longer than nine months. You and I have been together for six, so I assume something will go wrong soon. You'll tell me you believe in ghosts, or I'll reveal that I am terrible at expressing my feelings.
Liz Character Comedy Observational Liz: But this isn't fair to you, Chris. This is the happiest I've been in a long time, and I'm sorry that I can't just be a normal person and tell you stuff. Like, nice stuff. Like... Greeting card stuff.
Liz Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Liz · Criss: I love you. / I know. / You solo-ed me.
Liz Criss Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Callback Tracy · Al Roker: That is a person named Liz Lemon who just told some dude she loves him. Well, I have known her for a long time and she never said that before. It sure is rewarding as a TV viewer when someone you're interested in shows growth.
Tracy Al Roker Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Tracy: Also, TV viewers liked when in a show is a song.
Tracy Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Tracy: Also, TV viewers liked when in a show is a song. ♪Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling♪ ... Don't you dare fade out on me.
Tracy Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz: Don't you dare fade out on me.
Liz Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch 