Larry does the right thing (and regrets it) while seizing an unprecedented opportunity to avoid Irma. Jeff seeks out a pricey peace offering for Susie.
WAR
106
Wins Above Replacement
“Igor, Gregor & Timor” ranks #22 of 120 Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 85.6 — Elite. The episode packs 93 scored jokes at 2.0 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 7.1 on impact, with Larry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Larry: I just figured I'd make an insincere gesture, you would grudgingly say, 'No, you'll pay half and we'll split it,' and we'd both be unhappy with the compromise.
Larry Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Larry: Why is it you all look alike, and you have 'or' on the end of your names... And you all say, 'Shplendid.' You all say, 'Shplendid.'
Larry Observational Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Nurse: If an elephant walked down this hall here, would you notice the elephant even though you were working?... If I'm busy, real busy, it might just get by me. So, the elephant would escape your attention?
Larry: You know what? You'll have a vagina viewing party, a vaj-ama party.
Larry Wordplay/Pun Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Igor: Most of this comes from, uh, women who died at Park La Brea Apartments. Yes, they get married, they get old, they die. I go in with the truck.
Igor Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Standout Moments
Larry: Why is it you all look alike, and you have 'or' on the end of your names... And you all say, 'Shplendid.' You all say, 'Shplendid.'
Larry Observational Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Nurse: If an elephant walked down this hall here, would you notice the elephant even though you were working?... If I'm busy, real busy, it might just get by me. So, the elephant would escape your attention?
Larry: I just figured I'd make an insincere gesture, you would grudgingly say, 'No, you'll pay half and we'll split it,' and we'd both be unhappy with the compromise.
Larry Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 93 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Leon · Larry: What you're doing right now, is you puttin' bad miles on your johnson. You never heard of a car have highway miles and fuckin' city miles? I... I never heard of miles on a johnson. Right now, we got dick depreciation.
Leon · Irma: All this stuff is going to the same place. Fuckin' dump, a big pile of fuckin' trash and shit... With seagulls flyin' over that shit.
Irma: It's one plastic bottle's journey from Milan to Minsk.
Irma Observational Character Comedy Irma · Larry: You can choke a dolphin, Leon? I don't think you want to. No, he doesn't wanna choke a dolphin. You don't wanna choke a dolphin.
Leon Callback Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Irma: He's such a smart guy. It's just he's... He has a lot of energy, but he kinda delusional. He has all of these theories that just make no sense.
Irma Character Comedy Observational Irma: You don't stop talking about repealing the law.
Irma Character Comedy Observational Irma · Larry: Vaginal rejuvenation surgery. What? A tightening, a lifting, you know, the labial lips, I'd like them evened out.
Irma Larry Cringe/Discomfort Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Irma: I love my daughter, Larry, but she destroyed me down here... When she was born. And you know what they tell you to do? Kegel, Kegel, Kegel... You know what? Does not work.
Irma: When I get excited, I jump up suddenly, like at a sports game or something, a little, little, little, little pee-pee escapes.
Irma: I wanna wear white pants with you, so the whole thing is such a win-win for you... For me, sexually, you know, medically. But, you know, it's not just for me. It's for us, isn't it?
Irma Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Irma: Oh, fufu surgery, a designer vagina!
Irma Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Larry · Irma: What? The bowl!
Larry: I really... I don't get the bicycle thing, you know? Get the stationary bike in your house, you got the TV, it's so much better than... Than going on the streets here.
Larry Observational Character Comedy Larry: I think even roller skates is... is better. I think roller skating is safer than a bicycle... Roller-skating's kind of fun, too. I think it's more fun.
Larry Escalation Character Comedy Paramedic: Can you just let me do my job? Who cares about roller skating?... Thanks. Do you wanna be a paramedic?... I don't know why you need to be a part of this anymore. Step back! Step back!
Larry: Wait a second. Hey! My sweater! Hey, my sweater! My sweater!
Larry Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Larry: Oh, yeah, that's how I got my wardrobe. I go around to hospitals, and I look in rooms and I say, 'Oh, that's mine.' And they give it to me. Yeah, that's how I got the shirt and the, uh, and the pants.
Larry: Well, sleeping, you definitely don't wanna disturb somebody, and I completely understand that. But if you're resting, and you're just laying down with your eyes open, that's nothing.
Larry Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: That's a disturbance? A human presence is a disturbance?
Larry Escalation Observational Larry: How is that a disturbance? A person is laying in bed. He's asked a question. He doesn't even have to say yes or no. He can just nod, 'Yes.'
Larry Escalation Character Comedy Callback Larry · Jeff: It must be difficult being so mistrustful of everyone. It's sad.
Doctor · Larry: Six to eight weeks, probably... No kidding. Huh! Depending on what kind of work needs to be done. Oh, it's a lot of work. Lotsa, lotsa, lotsa work.
Jeff: However, downtown LA, I found a guy named Igor, same exact vase, you can't tell 'em apart. Half the price.
Jeff Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Larry · Jeff: The risk is my reward. You're like an outlaw.
Larry: I don't think I've ever hated someone as much in my life as I do this guy.
Larry Character Comedy Escalation Igor: My name is Igor. I run Prospr... We spoke on the phone about the vase... Oh, shplendid.
Igor Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Igor: Anything with blood on it. Won't take that. I don't want to know.
Igor Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Igor: Most of this comes from, uh, women who died at Park La Brea Apartments. Yes, they get married, they get old, they die. I go in with the truck.
Igor Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Igor: You're not leaving here until you buy something. You're gonna buy something my friend.
Igor Character Comedy Escalation Igor · Larry: Maybe when I am dead, you can have my furniture. Fantastic, shplendid, shplendid.
Gregor · Larry · Jeff: Welcome, welcome to the Hotel Concordia. My name is Gregor. How can I help you?... You were shopping at Prospr! Yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah. You in doghouse? Yeah. He's in the doghouse.
Larry · Gregor · Jeff: I... I don't know if I'm a goulash guy. Oh, you look like goulash guy. You look like you love goulash... Nice knowing you, pre-goulash.
Gregor: Nice knowing you, pre-goulash.
Gregor Wordplay/Pun Absurdist ★ Rewatch Angry driver: Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Hey, asshole! Watch where you're going. Unbelievable!
Larry: I mean, this is terrible. I don't know, this is inedible. This is just one of the worst things I've ever had in my life, I swear to God.
Larry Escalation Character Comedy Timor · Larry: My name is Timor. Uh, I hope everything is shplendid?... Extraordinarily bad... This is bad news.
Timor · Larry: Mm. That is good goulash. Oh, that is good... All right, maybe we're wrong, you know.
Timor: This pains me that you do not like the goulash. I take this as a personal affront. But I want to pay you back 'cause I feel bad. Let me let you in on a little secret. Down the street is the best pet store in Los Angeles... Bulvor. Bulvor.
Timor Escalation Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Timor: Are you related to Gregor, the concierge at the Concodia Hotel?... No... What about Igor, the antique dealer?... No... I don't know Igor, Gregor, or Bulvor. No relation.
Larry · Gregor: Let me ask you this, Gregor. Do you know Timor? Do you know Igor?... I don't know who... Who are these people that I'm supposed to know?... What am I, in a Columbo episode all of a sudden?
Gregor · Larry · Jeff: People say, 'Shplendid' at least twice a day, it is fact... We don't say, 'Shplendid.' We don't say, 'Shplendid.' I've never said splendid with him in my life. Nobody... nobody else says, 'Shplendid.'
Larry: I think you're all in cahoots. You're getting a kickback. You're recommending somebody to your brother, Timor, and then he's paying you for the recommendation.
Larry Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Gregor: This is fantasy. This is science fiction. This is Star Wars... This is spaceship to moon. This is nothing.
Gregor Escalation Character Comedy Larry: Americans have lost complete faith in their institutions, their politicians, their priests, the policeman. But we depend on the concierge to give us advice and recommendations... You are the last bastion of trust. And if we no longer trust our concierge... then we have nothing.
Larry Escalation Observational ★ Rewatch Irma: I looked things up, I saw some of the images on the computer of inflammation and hematomas and I...
Irma Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Irma: I wish I could... Talk to somebody who's had it done.
Irma Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Larry · Susie: Your knees when you stand. It's like somebody's marching... Oh, Jesus Christ! Shut the fuck up, will ya?
Larry · Susie: Tell her you got vaginal rejuvenation surgery... Because, she wants to get vaginal rejuvenation surgery. And this'll put her out of commission for six weeks. So... Oh, so, you don't have to have sex with her?
Larry Susie Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Susie: So my vagina has to get involved in this whole fucking thing?
Susie Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Susie: There's this really, really gorgeous, expensive vase I want... Get Jeff to buy me that vase, I'll tell her I did a million different things to my vagina.
Susie Escalation Character Comedy Susie: Jeff, my fucking husband, Jeff, has been cheating on me, and I thought it was you. And I just... I went crazy, and it wasn't you. It was this little putain who works for the Hulu guy
Susie Escalation Character Comedy Larry: I mean, I don't think you're the better person, she's the one who's apologizing. She the better person for apologizing.
Larry Observational Character Comedy Irma · Susie: Did you get the labial reconstruction too? The labia, the... The clitoris, they unhooded it? You had the hood taken... Yeah, yes, it made everything better. I don't know the details. Yeah, yeah, they took the hood off the clitoris.
Irma · Susie · Larry: Susie... could I, you know, take a look? At my vagina? Yeah, she... she's got to get going, uh, you know, she'll show you the vagina another time.
Larry: You know what? You'll have a vagina viewing party, a vaj-ama party.
Larry Wordplay/Pun Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Ben: I was kind of in and out of consciousness. I... I don't remember a sweater.
Ben Character Comedy Misdirection Callback Larry: We're talking about five seconds. A phone rings... 'Hey, did you happen to see a sweater in the hospital room when you were here?' 'Uh... No.' Hangs up. Or, 'Yes.' Hangs up.
Larry Escalation Observational ★ Rewatch Ben: She's studying for her real estate license. I'm not gonna bother her with a sweater
Ben Character Comedy Escalation Larry · Ben: What does that mean, 'You'll try'?... This is... This has already been a lot. Now I need to rest. I... But you are resting, you're laying... you're laying on a bed. You're resting.
Larry Ben Escalation Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Ben · Larry: I wanna rest with my eyes closed... Oh, you wanna sleep? No, I just wanna rest with my eyes closed for a while. So, you consider resting as something done with your eyes closed only?
Ben Larry Escalation Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Ben: So, you consider resting as something done with your eyes closed only? Look, I've... I gotta get back to resting, please, Larry.
Larry Ben Escalation Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: Nobody's ever found anything in the lost and found, especially the person who lost it.
Larry Observational Character Comedy Larry: Nobody's ever found anything in the lost and found, especially the person who lost it.
Larry Observational Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Larry: I pray to God nothing ever happens to me and I wind up in this place. That'll take my clothes off, they'll operate, I'll never see the clothes again. You'll have to wheel me out of here naked.
Larry Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Igor: I changed my mind. The vase is no longer, uh, for sale... It's sentimental value.
Igor Misdirection Escalation Larry · Igor: 'Cause Timor talked to Gregor, and Gregor talked to Igor. Isn't that how it works? Right?... You accusing me of shneeking around, you accuse me of being a shneek?
Igor · Larry: You accusing me of shneeking around, you accuse me of being a shneek? I'm not saying you're shneeky, I'm saying they spoke to you. You... you're implying I'm shneeky?
Igor: Well, I guess your wife's not gonna fuck you anymore, and that's on you. I can do whatever I want.
Igor Escalation Character Comedy Larry · Igor: Oh, what? Because we didn't like the goulash? That's why you're doing this?... Why are you talking about goulash?... Oh, you know what I'm talking about. You know, I know, that's what happened. Gregor talked to you, 'Don't sell vase. They do not like the goulash.'
Igor · Larry: I'm about to shnap... Go ahead and shnap... I will shnap... Go ahead. Let's go!
Larry: Gregor is your brother, Timor is your brother, and that asshole who runs that fucking pet store, Bulvor, he's your brother too, probably.
Larry Escalation Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Igor · Larry: I'm about to shnap. Go ahead and shnap. I will shnap. Go ahead. Let's go! Get out of here. Fine. And I know your brothers.
Larry · Jeff: I do. The Eskimos have 17 words for 'snow' and no word for 'I'm sorry.'... I don't know if that fact is fun.
Larry: Either they never do anything wrong to apologize for, 'cause they're so perfect... Or they just don't give a fuck. I hate your blubber, live with it.
Larry Escalation Character Comedy Larry: That's Ben, he's got... He's got my sweater on. That's the guy form the hospital. He got my sweater.
Larry Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Jeff · Larry: I will accept that. What... What are you talking about? You gonna let me pay for it? Why wouldn't I?
Jeff · Larry: Fun fact, if you make an insincere gesture, the other person might accept it... Fun fact, even if I make an insincere gesture, the other person should grudgingly pay for half... How is that a fact? It's not a fact, and it's not fun.
Susie · Larry: Your vase broke... Well, I guess you're just gonna have to go get another one. Because if you don't, Larry, I am gonna sit the lovely Irma Kostroski down, and I'm gonna tell her horror after horror about the vaginal rejuvenation surgery.
Susie: I'm gonna tell her that I had a hematoma the size of fucking Kansas... That I had necrosis. That my labia was so swollen, I couldn't walk for months... Her worst nightmare.
Susie Escalation Cringe/Discomfort Larry: I guess I had a trouble making the transition to a different goulash... And the more I thought about it, how could they possibly be your brothers, even though you speak with very similar nondescript Eastern European accent? I would venture to say if you all shaved, you... you might all look like triplets.
Larry Escalation Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: I would venture to say if you all shaved, you... you might all look like triplets. So, I'm sorry if I offended or insulted you in any way.
Larry Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Gregor · Larry: Would you like to apologize for little sketch you did when you did the voice of what I sound like?... 'I am so sorry, Timor, this is a vase, this is business. Who cares if he didn't like your goulash? I've tried your goulash, not so good.'
Larry: If it did, you would've said, 'I am so sorry, Timor, this is a vase, this is business. Who cares if he didn't like your goulash? I've tried your goulash, not so good.'
Larry Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Igor · Larry: Ten thousand dollars... You were going to sell it to my friend for 5,000... Yes, but I understand Seinfeld is in syndication.
Angry driver · Larry: Yeah, you. You almost killed me and my dog the other day... You don't think I'd remember? I got your license plate, asshole!... I'll beat your fucking ass right now, you skinny little bitch.
Irma: Well, Susie gave me a little sneak peek and... ...I do not want any part of that. It was like a... a melted cave.
Irma Cringe/Discomfort Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Susie · Jeff: You wanna rejuvenate your vagina? Yes, they do a tightening and a lift... You got it.
Susie · Jeff: Jeff, I am not mad at you about the vase anymore. Really? Yeah. You and your clumsy friend are off the hook. What? 'Cause I came up with something I'd rather have. What? Tell me. Vaginal rejuvenation surgery.
Larry · Irma: So, y... you're not getting the surgery? No. We wouldn't be able to make love for six weeks. That'd be a torture. A torture, right? Well, no.
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