When Hermes takes a stress-relieving vacation, replacement bureaucrat Morgan Proctor becomes infatuated with Fry. Bender threatens to publicize their affair, but Morgan removes Bender's memory and hides it within the cavernous Central Bureaucracy.
WAR
54.4
Wins Above Replacement
“How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back” ranks #52 of 170 Futurama episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.9 — Elite. The episode packs 66 scored jokes at 3.9 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Hermes landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Number 1.0: You are technically correct. The best kind of correct.
Hermes: I'm only anal 78.36% of the time.
Hermes Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Bender: I'm Bender, baby! Please insert liquor!
Bender Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Hermes · Others · Bender: I'm going to jump! - No! - No! Do a flip!
Number 1.0: We kept it gray.
All Jokes — 66 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Hermes: Finally, the last form of the day. Welcome to stampy town, population five.
Hermes Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Hermes: Sweet gorilla of Manila!
Hermes Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Unknown bureaucrat: Attention: You are about to receive a letter from Central Bureaucracy.
Unknown friend · Leela · Fry: I only gamble with chumps. - I'll play. - I'm in!
Bender: Bah! Big shots. I say let the dice do the talking.
Bender Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Hermes: I got to relax the Jamaican way: warm milk and a good night's sleep.
Hermes Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Fry: Jamaican? I thought you were an outer space potato man.
Fry Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Morgan · Leela: Hi, Leela. You're fired. - I know.
Morgan's friend: Office romances never work out. That's how I met my horrible wife.
Morgan's friend: She doesn't know I work. I keep my personal life separate.
Bender: I got them off a lucky guy while his lucky seeing-eye dog was whizzing.
Bender Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Zoidberg: Three females, a number and a king giving himself brain surgery.
Zoidberg Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bender: Read them and leak saltwater.
Bender Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Friend · Zoidberg: What will I tell my horrible wife? I'd be more worried about the tapeworm going to town on your intestines.
Hermes: Oh, my various gods! X-ray specs!
Hermes Character Comedy Absurdist Bender: I swear those are prescription. I need them for reading stuff. Behind other stuff.
Bender Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Fry: No! Don't hurt him! He's my best friend... 's laundry.
Fry Misdirection Character Comedy Bender: Hey, you wouldn't hit a guy with x-ray glasses, would ya?
Bender Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Hermes: Great cow of Moscow!
Hermes Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Callback Bender: Uh, it was ghosts! Big ones! And a tornado!
Bender Escalation Character Comedy Hermes: They'll bust me lower than a limbo stick at carnival time! And that's as low as limbo sticks get.
Hermes Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Morgan · Hermes: Morgan Proctor, grade 19. Hermes Conrad, grade 36.
Hermes · Others · Bender: I'm going to jump! - No! - No! Do a flip!
Zoidberg: Old friend, don't jump! Use a method that won't damage your liver. Others need it, you know?
Hermes: I'm only anal 78.36% of the time.
Hermes Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Hermes: Sweet something of... Of someplace.
Hermes Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Hermes: Oh! The ultimate penalty.
Hermes Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Zoidberg: ...they give me krill for everyone I send.
Morgan: I assign me. I accept. Welcome.
Morgan Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Leela · Fry: Fry got his head stuck in a crater. - I thought it'd fit.
Bender: I'd have won but I ran out of olives.
Bender Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Morgan · Fry · Morgan: Why isn't this alphabetical? - What? - The zipper should be at the bottom.
Fry: It used to be milk, and time makes fools of us all.
Fry Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Fry: This is the other Fry's locker. I'm 'Phry.'
Fry Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Morgan: Dirty boy! Dirty, dirty, dirty!
Morgan Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Morgan: I'm surrounded by neat all day. Nothing's kinkier than a slop-jock.
Morgan Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Fry: Like every girl I dated.
Hermes: This is no spa, it's a labor camp.
Hermes Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Fellow prisoner: Don't know why I go to him.
Leela · Morgan · Leela: Under who? - The autopilot. - That drunk?
Morgan Escalation Character Comedy Bender: I threw the professor at her. I had to hit her with a purse I found.
Bender Escalation Character Comedy Fry: Morgan? It's 3 a.m. A skunk knocked over my garbage, and I could only think of you.
Fry Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Fry: I ordered him to flush out the professor's earwax.
Bender: Hey, Fry? I made you a candle with... What the...?
Bender: The promotion, the dwarf in my book club who steals my opinions.
Bender Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bender: Come back! It's a loop!
Bender Visual Gag Character Comedy Bender: You didn't understand? I'll explain. You were having sex with you.
Bender: That's what makes it so juicy. It's the forbidden fruit angle.
Bender's body: I am Bender. Please insert girder.
Fry: But... But Bender need brain. For smart making!
Fry Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Morgan: Without his brain, he's quiet and helpful.
Morgan Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Professor: A friend went mad trying to find their washroom.
Hermes: It's inefficient! Pulling empty carts is the closest we get to sleep.
Hermes Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Guard: You know, you ought to be a bureaucrat.
Guard Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Bureaucrat: Someone had a baby.
Bender's body: I am Bender. Please insert girder.
Zoidberg: Damn it, jump already! Stop hogging the healthy liver!
Hermes: ...is done by a single Australian man.
Hermes Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Number 1.0: We kept it gray.
Bender: I'm Bender, baby! Please insert liquor!
Bender Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Number 1.0: Good bureaucrats never finish early.
Morgan: A date that ended in disappointment.
Morgan: No! No! I was young and reckless!
Morgan Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Number 1.0: You are technically correct. The best kind of correct.
Hermes: Come on, wife! Let's blow this joint!
Hermes Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback