Roswell That Ends Well

Fry:I've never seen a supernova blow up... But if it's like my Chevy Nova, it'll light up the sky.

Fry:What smells like blue?

Fry:Which crazy thing happening are you guys screaming about?

Fry:My popcorn's done. It's less popped than ever.

Leela:What's this layer of ozone? That's never been there before.

Bender:Those cost more lives than they save.

Leela:Here's the plan. Zoidberg, pick up the pieces. Everyone else, take five.

Narrator/Zoidberg:Zoidberg picks up another piece. The crowd goes wild.

Military Officer:In all my years of covering top-Secret discoveries with sheets... I've never dramatically revealed anything this shocking. Dun-Dun-Dun!

Professor:Which explains why the chronograph turned into this calendar.

Professor · Bender:Some idiot must have put metal in the microwave. Yo.

Leela:'Gym Renovations on Schedule'? What a load.

Bender:That's no flying saucer. That's my ass.

Zoidberg · Others:Hello. Ugh. What are you guys doing tonight? I'm up for whatever.

Professor:We tore the universe a new space hole. But it's clenching shut fast.

Professor:Don't do anything that affects anything, unless you were supposed to, in which case, don't not do it.

Fry:But existing is basically all I do!

Fry:Not a day goes by I don't ask myself that.

Sergeant:I want that toilet so clean I could eat off it. Because I intend to.

Enos:Then I am lucky you knocked me onto this pile of rusty bayonets.

Fry:I could feel myself fading away, like Greg Kinnear.

Enos:Handling raw chicken? Best part of the job. Finger-Licking good.

Leela:Yo, Homes, we need a microwave.

Fry:Yo, Homes, we need a microwave.

Appliance Salesman:And a foot-Soaking tub, since, as a woman, you'll be in front of it all day.

Appliance Salesman:She's hysterical, so I'll talk to you.

Fry:Oh. Women.

Fry:Hey, that's my brain!

Enos · Fry:That's my fiancée, Mildred. Grandma Mildred? No dessert.

Enos · Fry:You almost got neutered. Ain't as bad as killed. For me it is.

Amy:I'll have soylent green... With a soylent orange and soylent coleslaw.

Hermes:I'll have a croque monsieur, paella, two mutton pills and a stein of mead.

Professor:Oh, lord! We'll have to endure the horrible music of the Big Bopper... And then the terrible tragedy of his death.

Fry:Well, I killed my grandfather. Wait, why do you still exist? I don't know. Maybe God loves me.

Fry · Leela:Well, I killed my grandfather. Wha...? Wait, why do you still exist? I don't know. Maybe God loves me.

Professor:If it makes you feel any better... He was vaporized, so he can't come back as a zombie.

General:Where we're building the fake moon landing? We'll have to really land on the moon. Invent NASA and tell them.

Scientist · Bender:Are you coming on to me? I take exception to that.

Mildred:How about these cookies, sugar?

Professor · Fry:What the hell have you done?! Relax. She can't be my grandmother. I figured it out.

Professor:Isn't it obvious? You are.

Bender:Come on, lighten up. What is this, a funeral?

Scientist:The same deviled egg.

Leela:A lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm-My-Own-Grandpa.

Zoidberg · President Truman:Great Roosevelt's ghost! Hi-Ya! Ya! Ya! Take this, Mr. President. Sir.

Bender:Choke on that, causality!

Leela:Oh, poor Bender. He must be so lonely right now, trapped 1000 years in the past.

Fry · Bender:What was it like lying in that hole for 1000 years? I was enjoying it until you showed up.

Professor:If history doesn't care that our degenerate friend, Fry... Is his own grandfather, who are we to judge?