Bizarre aliens force the crew to reenact all the classic children's games Fry played at his 8th birthday party... except this time, they are played TO THE DEATH!
WAR
13.3
Wins Above Replacement
“Quids Game” ranks #134 of 137 Futurama episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 68.6 — Mixed. The episode packs 59 scored jokes at 3.4 per minute, averaging 6.3 on craft and 6.1 on impact, with Unknown character landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Fry: I always love you, Leela, but there are two things I just can't do. Almost anything, and cheat.
Fry Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Scruffy: Scruffy begs to differ. I see it as more of a gray-brown, or perhaps toasted umber.
Scruffy Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Fry's Dad: Not everything in life is about winning. But most things are. Almost everything.
Professor: Damn! My dribbling and differentiating arm!
Professor Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hermes: Finally, I can give up limbo and start a professional sex league.
Hermes Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Standout Moments
Scruffy: Scruffy begs to differ. I see it as more of a gray-brown, or perhaps toasted umber.
Scruffy Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Fry's Dad: Not everything in life is about winning. But most things are. Almost everything.
Fry: I always love you, Leela, but there are two things I just can't do. Almost anything, and cheat.
Fry Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 59 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Fry: All I want is to enjoy the quiet desolation of space
Unknown organizer: Only a few. Less than 40.
Unknown character: Chicken cordon bleu!? B'kaw!
Unknown party organizer: We got a code 99. Birthday boy unresponsive.
Unknown crew member: Emergency! All butts to battle cushions!
Unknown crew member: We heard a girlish scream. Are you okay?
Unknown character: I was busy making a tourniquet out of my tiny, tiny shirt.
Unknown character: Like Fire Island after Labor Day.
Fry: That's the tasteless suburban teardown I grew up in!
Fry Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Alien heads: It was we! - He meant us. It was us! - I don't know. I thought 'we' sounded better.
Unknown character: I'ds likes to hears about the grammars.
Alien heads: Barrel of Primates!
Unknown character: They call me Monkey Breath for a reason.
Unknown character: I'm a leg. Every day is leg day.
Unknown character: I'm a leg. Every day is leg day.
Alien heads · Unknown character: Did we mention there's a twist? I knew you were twist guys!
Alien heads: It's actually a highly alkaline liquid. That's the twist! It'll dissolve you twice as fast as acid!
Unknown character: But I have a fear of dissolving!
Alien heads: Phil's the sentimental favorite, but the smart money's on four-eyes.
Josh Gedgie: The name's Gedgie, and it may look close, but I've got the Gedge.
Fry: I hope my grandma's proud of me down in Hell.
Fry Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Josh Gedgie: Nice job, Phil, but I'll Gedge you next time. That never gets old.
Alien head: As for me, I don't have any motivations.
Alien head: And I have two motivations! Gambling, and making these cool masks.
Unknown character · Professor: It just says, 'Fun for ages 3 to 99.' - No wonder I'm not enjoying it!
Professor: Damn! My dribbling and differentiating arm!
Professor Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Zoidberg: Is okay. Is only water. Just as I foresaw. Wait.
Leela: My parents and my grandmother a-are dead!
Leela Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort Unknown character: I'm so sorry for your loss, Leela. Can I have their cake?
Fry: I'm so sorry for your loss, Leela. Can I have their cake?
Fry Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Josh Gedgie: That's a lot of candles, old man. You'll never do it.
Unknown character: He's still blowing somehow!
Dying character: My only regret is not getting any cake!
Leela · Bender: Nobody panic! Two to a seat! You heard her! Start panicking!
Unknown character: It'd take all three Hulks to break that. Incredible, She, and Hogan.
Alien heads: Since no one likes candy, we have filled our piñata with quids!
Unknown character: I like candy. My husband is dead!
Hermes: Finally, I can give up limbo and start a professional sex league.
Hermes Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Alien heads: Penultimate means next to last. You lose the vocabulary game!
Alien heads: It's not magic, for God's sake.
Unknown character: Just last night, we had bicentennial meatloaf. Red, white, and green.
Leela: The woman you occasionally say you love.
Big Brain Alien: You're not the winners. Who said you were the winners? I forgot to mention the winners are the ones who don't find the baseballs! That's on me, guys.
Unknown character: That was some impressive reverse cheating, Fry.
Alien heads · Zoidberg: It is the donkey's Achilles butt. All its vital organs are clustered there. Just like me!
Fry: How's this for cheating?
Josh Gedgie: Everything's coming up Gedgie. Beat that, REO Cheatwagon.
Fry's Dad: You stabbed that donkey like a professional donkey stabber!
Josh Gedgie: Happy birthday, Fry. I hope you had fun cheating 'cause nobody else did!
Donkey: My vital ass organs!
Donkey Callback Physical/Slapstick Callback Donkey · Donkey: My vital ass organs! You are a cheater!
Alien heads: Did I not mention that either?
Big Brain Alien: The machine can easily bring people back to life. Did I not mention that either?
Unknown character: He went down like a sack of shoes.
Fry's Mom: Yeah, I know. He still can't work a zipper.