Bizarre aliens force the crew to reenact all the classic children's games Fry played at his 8th birthday party... except this time, they are played TO THE DEATH!
WAR
33
Wins Above Replacement
“Quids Game” ranks #130 of 170 Futurama episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 74.2 — Great. The episode packs 66 scored jokes at 4.2 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.2 on impact, with Fry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Professor Farnsworth · Fry: Soon your trousers will slip the surly bonds of Earth and ascend to the heavens. I'm gonna blast that balloon! No way will I let God get my pants! Nobody messes with my pants! Not even the Holy One, blessed be He.
Choose-matron: Delivery boy, no discernible skills. Accepted! 'Cause I like his pants.
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, what an idiot I was. And by 'I', I mean 'you.'
Bender: The world? That's where I live! Told you it'd say something about me.
Bender Absurdist Character Comedy Choose-matron: Male, medical doctor, delicious with butter and lemon. Accepted!
All Jokes — 66 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Unknown character: Oh, my hair!
Fry: Lot of weather we're having. Allow me, my lady.
Fry Observational Character Comedy Fry: Shall we go a-trousering?
Fry Wordplay/Pun Absurdist ★ Rewatch Fry: You're right. I'm sorry for showing my love.
Fry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Fry · Unknown character: My pants! My lucky pants! They don't look so lucky to me. They are, too! I was wearing them that time I found a dime in my ear. I was wearing them when I won a subscription to Redbook. And I was wearing them when I first met Leela, so yeah, they're lucky.
Fry · Unknown character: Plus, they're my only pants. You've worn the same pants for 1,000 years? No wonder they made a run for it.
Professor Farnsworth · Fry: Soon your trousers will slip the surly bonds of Earth and ascend to the heavens. I'm gonna blast that balloon! No way will I let God get my pants! Nobody messes with my pants! Not even the Holy One, blessed be He.
Unknown character: Look out! A Central Park badger!
Unknown character · Scruffy: Scruffy, do you have any varmint grease? What viscosity you need?
Scruffy: Also, this grease is flammable.
Mutant character: No, this isn't mutant language. We use a lot more profanity. Son of a...
Leela · Fry: The one time your hands aren't sticky, they're greasy! Oh, sorry. Normally I would've wiped them on my pants, but...
Leela Fry Callback Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Unknown character: We made a rope from my shirt and jacket and an expedition flag from my underpants.
Leela: Stop telling me to take your hand. Look, Fry, your noble gestures keep making things worse. Can't you just be a rude, unhelpful jerk like Bender?
Leela Character Comedy Running Gag Bender: When I use up the toilet paper, I don't put on a new roll.
Bender Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Unknown character: What badger could've built this?
Bender: Ancient history coming through!
Bender Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Professor Farnsworth: predating even the Girls of Sumeria.
Bender: Sorry. I was eating a can of breakfast and looking at porn.
Bender Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Amy · Bender: I think it means, 'The sun will erupt, all shall perish,' blah-blah-blah. Get to the point! What does it say about me, Bender?
Bender: The world? That's where I live! Told you it'd say something about me.
Bender Absurdist Character Comedy Unknown character: So, you all done with the computer?
Hermes Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Unknown character: Some of us were crazy before it was cool.
Nixon: It's not starting. Come ons, comes on!
Nixon Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Nixon: It's like Pat on a Sunday morning.
Nixon Character Comedy Observational Leela: If only I could get back that time I spent watching TRON: Legacy.
Fry: Before we die, I'm gonna find and destroy every remaining copy of TRON: Legacy. It may take a couple of hours, but...
Zoidberg: The Balcony Club? I have an individual membership.
Bender · Zoidberg: Zoidberg, get lost. I am lost. So long.
Professor Farnsworth: All right, Amy, what's so important that you interrupted my embalming?
Bender: It was worth waiting five hours to hear you finish that sentence.
Bender Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Professor Farnsworth: Well, the mausoleum held 10 horny teenagers, so... Maybe 30,000.
Professor Farnsworth: They had their chance. Let's go!
Nixon: It's close, with lots of open space and no Woodward or Bernstein.
Professor Farnsworth: Who shall live and who shall die? Step right up to the contrabulous choose-matron!
Choose-matron · Old woman: Female, crotchety. Needed to keep others in their place. Accepted! Damn straight, kajigger!
Choose-matron: We just got one of these. Rejected!
Choose-matron · Amy: Female, scientist. We were in the same sorority. Accepted! Sigma Beta, see you later! Sigma Beta, see you later!
Choose-matron: Male, medical doctor, delicious with butter and lemon. Accepted!
Choose-matron: Delivery boy, no discernible skills. Accepted! 'Cause I like his pants.
Choose-matron: Top gun pilot, natural leader, extreme combat training. Rejected! With all spaceships inoperable, we only need one spaceship pilot.
Unknown character: Snake door. Roger.
Choose-matron: Male, filthy hand, violent temper. Accepted again!
Leela: Remember how Bender dumped all that pig's blood on me?
Leela Callback Absurdist Callback Leela: I wish I could remember with my boobs.
Bender: Ah-ah-ah. A magician never reveals his secrets. Except the Great Reveal-o. That guy stinks.
Bender Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Bender: I'm a lot of people, but I'm not Fry.
Bender Misdirection Character Comedy Leo Wong · Amy · Nixon: Admission, $20. Dad! Gleesh. Greetings, Mars men. We come to your planet to construct a gleaming city, a second Earth on which to begin anew. Okay. Admission, $20.
Fry · Bender: Bender! You're stealing your own stuff! I am? Geez, I better slow down. I'm stealing stuff I don't even need. You want a Torah? Nah, I'm not hungry.
Nixon: I give you Dickfrancisco!
Nixon Wordplay/Pun Absurdist Great Reveal-o: The doves didn't magically spring from my hand, but rather were crammed into this netting sewn into my sleeve!
Nixon: And now, as a solemn testicle to those left behind on Earth...
Nixon Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Leela: That frightened little girl in the statue reminds me of Fry.
Leela Character Comedy Visual Gag Amy: Hey, Ancient Martian's a very hard language. A... looks just like a...
Amy Setup/Punchline Visual Gag Nixon · Amy: To the spaceship! There is no spaceship. You had it dismantled to build that statue. To the statue.
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, what an idiot I was. And by 'I', I mean 'you.'
Leela: I should've known better than to trust one of Fry's romantic gestures. Every time he says he loves me, I get killed.
Leela Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Fry: Oh no! The kajigger of Gibraltar!
Fry Wordplay/Pun Absurdist Callback Bender: I have got to quit drinking.
Bender Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Fry: Or somebody else could do it!
Fry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Leela: I don't know. Bad things happen when you say that.
Leela Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Scruffy · Leela: No, we're not. Grab your severed arm with your other arm. Ew... Okay.
Scruffy: Don't thank me, thank the ladder.
Scruffy Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Leela: I can't be mad. I'm on way too many painkillers.
Leela Observational Cringe/Discomfort Leela: I mean, you failed, miserably, but you're the only person who loves me enough to try.