The Hamptons

The human fascination with water is amazing... unless it rains. Then we're like, 'Oh, look, I'm soaked.'

For some reason, we have a huge problem with small, flying water.

Everyone cover your water bottles! Run!

Put that on the top of your list. Not for me. A little too delightful.

It's like she signed a letter of intent.

Israeli soldiers carry it in case they're captured behind enemy lines. They eat it, and it kills them.

I never tasted a cough medicine I didn't love. Me too. I love cough medicine.

If I reach out and touch her breast now, she'd throw me out of the car. But at this time tomorrow, I could touch it all I want.

Sex is like joining a private club. I'll be the same me tomorrow, but suddenly the 'no trespassing' sign will be gone.

Who are you, Mrs. Robinson?

No, that's not sweetening the deal.

Yo-Yo Ma. Boutros Boutros-Golly.

Nice rack.

Maybe she's trying to create a buzz. You know, get some good word of mouth going.

Isn't he gorgeous? Oh, he's... Eww... Is he gorgeous?

Is it me, or was that the ugliest baby you have ever seen?

It was like a Pekinese.

A little too much chlorine in that gene pool.

It's a must-lie situation.

Breathtaking? I'm breathtaking?

It's like going back in time.

The tomato never really took off as a hand fruit.

The tomato's an anomaly, so successful with the ketchup and the sauce, but you can't find a good one.

I saw Jane topless.

Face-up on her back? Yeah. Well, why'd she do that? Well, I guess she was hot.

Think of me as a doctor.

If she was a criminal and you had to describe her to a police sketch artist... They'd pick her up in about ten minutes.

It's like I'm Neil Armstrong. I turn around for a sip of Tang, and you jump out first!

Nobody ever called me 'breathtaking' before. I've never been called 'breathtaking' either.

If he thinks that that baby is breathtaking, then who's not breathtaking?

No, I was just wondering if you guys, uh... had any gum. So you were swimming in the pool, and you wanted some gum. Yes. Because the water was cold, and the, uh, chewing warms me up.

I was in the pool!

You mean shrinkage. Yes. Significant shrinkage.

Women aren't like us. They're worse! They're much worse than us. They talk about everything!

Do women know about shrinkage? What do you mean, like laundry?

Like a frightened turtle.

I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.

You're so... pious. I really respect that. You know, when you die, you're gonna get some special attention.

My T-shirt shrunk. It used to be much bigger, and now it shrunk. See, that's what water does. It shrinks things.

Those are commercial lobster traps. You can't take lobsters from there. That's against the law.

My father was a lobsterman. He got up every morning at 4 and came home at night stinking of brine. He sent me through law school with the lobsters he caught.

Some ugly baby, huh? What did you say? I said, uh... some... snuggly baby.

Well, you know, Elaine, sometimes you say a thing like that just to be nice.

There was shrinkage!

No, I'm sorry, honey. Not on my watch.

Good morning. Hey. Morning. Morning. Kramer.

The whole breakfast is breathtaking.

There's lobster in these eggs? Not that much. They shrink in the water.

There he is, officer. Yeah.

Don't you ever knock?

Look at the work people will do to get to the ocean. They'll fight the traffic and the heat and the parking and the hot sand, trying to get through the waves, and the ironic thing is, the ocean doesn't even really want us in there.

That's what surfing is. Surfing is the ocean throwing us out of itself. The ocean is like a nightclub, and the waves are bouncers tossing us out.

The undertow's like the really mean bouncer. Instead of throwing you out, they take you in back and rough you up a little bit. 'Oh, you wanna come in? How about coming in, like, 25 miles?'