Estelle Costanza

George · Frank Costanza · Estelle:George's father asks what George is doing now. George: 'I'm writing a pilot for NBC.' Frank, to the room: 'He's writing a pilot.'

George · Frank Costanza · Estelle:George's NBC pilot described: 'Jerry's car gets hit and the other driver doesn't have insurance, so the judge sentences him to be Jerry's butler.' / Frank: 'It's the same situation. Exactly.'

Frank Costanza · George · Estelle:'Every time you're with that Kramer something happens.' / 'He didn't have anything to do with it.' — then a beat of Mahjong tiles being played while everyone implies otherwise.

George · Frank · Estelle:The Costanza living room: they're watching TV, someone reads aloud 'Tommy Tune is a very good dancer' from the screen, leading to a completely mundane debate about tap-dancing

Frank · Estelle:Frank and Estelle Costanza are blown away that Mayor Dinkins discussed George: 'You discussed George with the mayor of New York? Dinkins was talking about you. He was DISCUSSING you!'

Estelle · George:Estelle Costanza: 'Oh, that Lloyd Braun, he is something, isn't he?' — sighing with admiration while George seethes

Estelle:Estelle brags: Lloyd 'tells him [Dinkins] what soap to use' — casually presenting intimate access to a mayor as evidence of Lloyd's importance

George · Estelle:George's mother bursts in and interrogates him about the conversion: 'Estelle's son? Latvian Orthodox? Why are you doing this?' George: 'For a woman.' Mother: 'A woman? What, are you out of your mind?'

Estelle:Estelle: 'Wait. Is this the group that goes around mutilating squirrels?'

Estelle · George:Estelle: 'You don't know what you're saying. You're under their control.' George: 'No. No.' Estelle: 'What, they brainwashed you?' George: 'No.' Estelle: 'You're not performing any rituals in this house! Go back to the psychiatrist. I beg you. And stay away from those squirrels.'

Frank · Estelle:Again with the pepper? What do you gotta use all that pepper for? Keep quiet. You trying to set my mouth on fire?

George · Frank · Estelle:We should take a trip. Maybe a cruise. Yes, a cruise. A long cruise. Just the two of you.

George · Estelle · Frank:Maybe it was a mouse. Okay, that's it! We're moving! I will not tolerate infestation. You haven't even seen one. Don't you understand? The very thought, the very idea. I'll never be comfortable again.

Frank · Estelle:What are they, too good for us? A raincoat salesman. I could buy and sell him, like that. The hell with them!

Estelle:The thing that bothers me the most is the lying.

Frank · Estelle · George:But I can't find any of my vacation clothes. They were in the attic. The attic? You haven't worn any of those clothes for years. How can I go on a cruise without my cabana-wear? I love those clothes.

Frank · Kramer · George · Estelle:Hey. That shirt. Where did you get that shirt? What? That's my cabana shirt. You stole my shirt, you son of a bitch! George, your friends up in the attic, stealing my clothes! Give me that back. Give me that. Give me. I bought it from Rudy.

Estelle · Kramer:You look just like Frank on our honeymoon. Well, thank you.

Frank · Estelle:What happens to charter tickets when you don't use them? Well, I suppose they're wasted. Yes, I suppose they are.

Frank · Estelle:Frank and Estelle Costanza argue about whether anyone could possibly not like them, while Frank obsesses about the paella going to waste. 'What am I supposed to do with all this paella?'

Frank · Estelle:Frank vs. Estelle: 'Again with the pepper? What do you gotta use all that pepper for?' / 'Keep quiet.' / 'You trying to set my mouth on fire?'

Frank · Estelle · George:Costanza household: Estelle: 'I admire Morty and Helen going to France. We should take a trip.' Frank: 'Maybe a cruise.' Estelle: 'Yes, a cruise.' Frank: 'A long cruise.' George (under his breath): 'Just the two of you.'

Frank · Estelle:Frank: 'I will not tolerate infestation.' Estelle: 'You haven't even seen one.' Frank: 'Don't you understand? The very thought, the very idea. I'll never be comfortable again.'

Frank · Estelle · George:Frank rants: 'First Kramer, then Elaine? It's a slap in the face... A raincoat salesman. I could buy and sell them, like that. The hell with them!' Estelle: 'The thing that bothers me the most is the lying.'

Estelle · Kramer:Estelle: 'You look just like Frank on our honeymoon.' Kramer: 'Well, thank you.' — Kramer graciously accepts the compliment about wearing Frank's stolen shirt

Estelle · Jerry:What is wrong with George? / He's trying to get something off his chest.

George · Estelle:So is your father excited about coming home? [George looks up from deep in thought about his potential gynecomastia — reaction beat]

George · Estelle:Hey, Mom, what kind of woman was Grandma? / All of a sudden you're interested in your grandmother? / Well, you know, you get to a certain point, you want to know about your roots.

George · Estelle:Was she...? Was she a big woman? / Big? No. She was my height. / Bosomy? / Bosomy? You want to know if your grandmother was bosomy?

George · Estelle:I was just wondering. The information could be relevant. / Where do you get your genes from? / That's what I'd like to know.

Estelle · George:You're not having any of your transvestite parties? / Will you stop it? I lived with him for 40 years. I never saw him trying on my underwear. As soon as he leaves the house, he turns into J. Edgar Hoover.

Estelle:'I lived with him for 40 years. I never saw him trying on my underwear. As soon as he leaves the house, he turns into J. Edgar Hoover.'

Estelle · George · Frank:Sid Farkus. / Sid Farkus? / You're not having dinner with a bra salesman. / Hey, he only sells them, he doesn't wear them.

Estelle:So I'm getting an eye job.

Estelle:Call me. 36-24-46. I think I have what you're looking for.

Passers-by · Estelle · Kramer:Yo, Assman. Look at the Assman. / Did he say 'Assman'? / Yeah. / Oh, my goodness. / Hey, the Assman's in town. / You got that straight.

Estelle · Frank:You can't face the fact that I'm improving myself. / You're not the only one improving yourself. I worked out with a dumbbell yesterday. I feel vigorous.

Estelle:Don't upset me. I can't cry!

Estelle · George:Well, it's already working. Kramer made a pass at me. / Kramer made a pass at you? You're crazy. / I'm not crazy. He stopped short and made a grab.

Frank Costanza · Estelle · George:I fell on some fusilli. / Fusilli? / You know, the corkscrew pasta. / It was a fusilli Jerry. It got stuck in me. I had to go to the proctologist.

George · Estelle:Ma, don't cry! / Oh, I can't help it! / Ma, your eyes!

Frank · Estelle · George:The proctologist? Are you okay? — Yeah. — Oh, I was so worried. — Ma, don't cry! — Oh, I can't help it! — Ma, your eyes!

George · Estelle:Oh, my God. / No, it's nothing bad. / I'm getting married! / You what?

Frank · Estelle · George:What does she look like? / I'm sure she's gorgeous. / What difference does it make? / Is she pretty? / Yes. What difference does it make? / I'm just curious! / She's not pretty?

Susan · Estelle:I just want you to know that I love your son very much. / You do? / Yes. / Really? / Yes. / May I ask why?

Frank · Estelle · George · Susan:Frank Costanza panics over Susan's zipper: 'All right. All right. Let's not get into panic mode! Let's not make a big deal out of this, or we'll never get through it.'

Frank · Estelle · George:Frank criticizes George's thin tie, claiming to know tie fashion from Seventh Avenue: 'They're wearing wide now.' / 'How do you know what kind of ties they wear?' / 'Go to any office building on Seventh Avenue and tell me if there's anyone there wearing a thin tie like that.'

Estelle:'If I had a dime for every book he's actually read... I'd be broke.'

George · Frank · Estelle:George's post-dinner complaints: 'The mother seems to hit the sauce pretty hard. I didn't like that.' / 'And who doesn't serve cake after a meal? What kind of people? Would it kill them to put out a pound cake?'

Frank · Estelle:'It's not impolite. It's stupid, that's what it is. You gotta be stupid to do that.' / 'Your father is absolutely right.'

Estelle · Frank · George:The discovery that Frank took back the marble rye: 'You stole the bread?' / 'What do you mean? It's my bread. They didn't eat it. Why should I leave it there?'

Estelle · George:Are you trying to get rid of us? / 'Rid'? Ma, come on. The word is 'care.' 'Care.' I care about your comfort. Be it here in Queens or 1200 miles away.

Frank · Estelle · George:We're moving to Florida. / What? / You're moving to Florida?! / Ah-ha! / That's wonderful! I'm so happy! [beat] For you! I'm so happy for you!

George · Frank · Estelle:So you're moving there for spite. / Absolutely. / No one tells Frank Costanza what to do! / That's right! Who the hell are they?! How dare they?

Estelle · Frank · George:That's right! Who the hell are they?! How dare they? Yeah! Ha-ha.

George · Frank · Estelle:You know what the temperature in Florida is today? Seventy-nine. That's almost 80. Yeah, I read someplace, the life expectancy in Florida is 81. And in Queens, 73.

Frank · Estelle:What about your side? Your cousin Henny. She was sickly from the moment I met her. / Don't you talk about Henny!

Frank · Estelle:Well, after talking to you, we realized we may not have much time left. So we're blowing it all.

Estelle:Look, George, it's a Pierre Cardin.

Estelle:What do you think we should do, Georgie?

Frank · Estelle:It's too late. We bought a condo at Del Boca Vista. We're leaving tonight.

Estelle · Kramer · Frank:Cosmo, are you sure you're gonna be all right here alone? / Oh, yeah, I got Emily coming over tonight. / You're letting him have a woman over? / He's not family. It's different psychologically.

George · Estelle · Frank:Hey, it's Georgie. / Let me put your father on the phone. / Ma. / Who's this? / Dad, it's me.

George · Frank · Estelle:Listen, I was at Fortunoff's the other day and you know what... ...you were right. / Chinese food. / Sorry, George, our Chinese food just came. Talk to you later. / Chinese food?

George · Estelle · Frank:Just dropped in for a visit. / You never called me back. / Oh, the phone broke.

Frank · Estelle:It's creative black tie. / Move, woman.

Estelle:George, we've had it with you. Understand, we love you like a son, but even parents have limits.

Estelle:The breakups, the firings, and every Sunday with the calls.

George · Estelle · Frankie:Where are my parents? / Georgie. / Is this Seinfeld's van? Seinfeld's van. Seinfeld's van.

George · Estelle · Frank:Wait. What's he saying? / I think he's saying Son of Sam. / Oh, my God! / I thought they caught him. / I knew it wasn't Berkowitz.

George · Frankie · Frank · Estelle:Hey, what is that? / That van's a-rocking. / Then don't go a-knocking. / Oh, my God! / Oh, my God!

Frank · Estelle · George:What you saw in the van was a natural expression of a man's love for his lady. / Your father's right. It's beautiful. And it was safe. / Oh, God. / Now, if you'll excuse me, once again, your mother and I... / Oh, make it stop.