Broadcast Nudes

Larry:Yeah. We've All seen her.

Larry:Hey is all you need.

You have A little hair there Coming down.

Hank:In my bedroom In a box next to my bed, I have every tape Of every playboy after dark Ever made.

Hank:That would be a hoot to Be invited to one of those.

Larry:Jesus, did you see how Hank Was all over hefner? He did everything But hump his leg.

Artie:You must have Looked away.

Artie:You could Stand on the roof And watch Angie dickinson Sunbathe.

Artie:This is A mediterranean ficus. It's a very classy plant. Look perfect By your fireplace.

Larry:Think so?

Artie:Yes. No.

After many years Of trying, Hank Kingsley is going To appear in playboy.

Hank:Actually, it's not The interview. It's a feature about women Who work in television.

But, Hank, You're a man.

Hank:Right, But you're a woman.

Hank:I-i didn't ask, But I would assume, yeah.

Your dad's Passed away, right?

Hank:We think so. We're not sure. He left when I was 7.

Artie:No bush.

Francine:Well, you asking me To move in with you?

Larry:[Laughs] Yes, in my own 'I can't believe I did it That way myself' way. Yes, I am. I guess.

Francine:That's a head Carved out of rock. This looks like The junior suite In the four seasons.

Larry:Thank you. Jeannie and I met there.

Artie:In the crapper.

Phil:You know, the more I hear about this, It sounds to me Like there's Little difference Between Hank And the amazing clifford. Clifford probably Dresses better.

They were on her desk In a big envelope With a playboy Bunny on it.

We just thought It was a new issue.

Larry:Larry's stunned silence and laugh after seeing the photos

Hank:We're not talking about hustler or penthouse Or swank or juggs Or screw!

Artie:Shouting out the names Of some of this country's Finest men's publications Outside the ladies' crapper Is not low profile.

Darlene:If you think It's so great, Show everyone your tits.

Hank:I'll look like Harvey korman.

Artie:Just Larry and me In a decorating magazine? People might get The wrong idea. I would.

Larry:You're gonna be disappointed. You'll see.

Artie:Standing Next to Hank, You'll come off Like carl sagan.

Artie:I've got a face That cracks mirrors. That's why I'm a producer.

Hank:That magazine Was built on ideas Like 'the sidekick's Sidekick,' And it is not A circa 1975 idea. It is money In the bank, frank!

Darlene:You see, it's very Hard to pose nude And wear a t-shirt At the same time. In fact, It's downright Impossible.

Artie:Oh, I'm sorry, Hank. It's america's loss.

Photographer:Might be fun to get you And Hank on the couch.

Artie:This is fucking Bad timing That darlene's Article came out The same day As yours.

Darlene:I wore the Hank's look Around cafe t-shirt In the main shot. It's a little ripped, But you can still read it.

Hank:There was a small grease fire At the site last night. No, no. It's only Going to push us back About, oh, 10 months.

Hank:Those fuckers. Fuckers!