After a particularly trying day at work, Arthur spends the night at the studio with two new friends, Nicolae the janitor and Hank's karoake machine, and one old bottle of booze.
WAR
116.1
Wins Above Replacement
“Arthur After Hours” ranks #9 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 91.2 — Elite. The episode packs 90 scored jokes at 3.6 per minute, averaging 7.4 on craft and 7.2 on impact, with Artie landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Artie: Why nicolae get mop?
Nicolae: Brother, you throw bottle. You go clean.
Artie Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Artie: What, can't find your way upstream to spawn?
Hank Brian Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie: Because all the pressure in this building, all the stress goes right into that, but does it crack? Does it?
Nicolae: No!
Artie: Aw, say, you bet your ass. Damn right it doesn't.
Artie Escalation Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Artie Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Artie: but does it crack? Does it? No!
Artie Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 90 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ General rule of thumb... if you see nose hair, it's too close. Aha!
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Observational Checks for Larry, birds for Hank... aw, throw that one away.
Artie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement As much as I'd love Larry to ask her about her gorgeous new tits, I feel we covered that front quite well when miss butler was here in may.
Artie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Paula: You have to forgive me. I've got my period.
Artie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Artie: You know, you used that excuse 10 weeks ago, memory serves. That means you're not due to start your cycle until the 22nd or 23rd.
Paula Artie Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Paula: Well, how do you know I wasn't lying the last time?
Paula Artie Escalation Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: You were a bit puffy.
Artie Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: Oh, you're good. You're not the first woman who's told me that.
Artie Phil Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Artie: Do you like history, Phil? What does that mean? Because if Larry doesn't want to wear the hat, that's what it becomes, dig?
Phil: He is supposed to be the gorton's fisherman. Without the hat, he's just a guy in a yellow slicker.
Phil Reaction Beat Character Comedy Phil: What? Makes me laugh.
Phil: What makes you laugh, the sketch?
Artie: No. The word 'slicker' makes me chuckle.
Beverly Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Artie: Say it again. Slicker. Use it in a sentence.
Phil: I like my slicker.
Artie: Ha ha.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Phil: Artie, I'm gonna kick somebody's ass, I swear.
Artie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Artie: Profanity, beverly. I love it.
Beverly: that wendy bitch in charge of the audience... she's got her way in the hell up there where we put the retards.
Artie: We call them 'mentally challenged' now, beverly.
Artie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Artie: Don't twist your skivvies in a knot, sugar.
Hank Artie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Artie: Having fun showing her around?
Beverly: Artie, the woman is my mother.
Hank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Artie: Is there blood? Everywhere.
Artie: What, can't find your way upstream to spawn?
Hank Brian Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hank: someone has been touching my karaoke machine.
Hank: I walk in the morning, the red light is on, and this baby is just warm to the touch
Hank: I know how your people enjoy the karaoke.
Bri: Now if you'll excuse me, I must go call my parents and tell them I'm asian.
Hank: I miss darlene. And not just because of, you know, the, uh, the sweaters.
Larry: You know, that was the least graceful entrance we've ever had on the show.
Larry Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive Larry: I would rather sometimes be allowed to be the man.
Sandra: ♪ do-do-do-do-do-do-do ♪
Sandra: I got into bed with them. They had plenty of room.
Larry: They're arguing, or they're burying stuff in the backyard?
Sandra: All at once, they're just coming at me 100,000 miles a minute. Who is? Everybody in the business.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Sandra: Not a damn thing. I've been fired off everything.
No, you haven't.
Sandra: I'm kidding.
Larry: I have an erection.
Sandra: Funny, so do I.
Artie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Sandra: Hey, 2 erections and nowhere to go.
Artie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Larry: Hey, thanks for being a soldier about this, rye bread.
Artie: Make you feel better to hit me? Go ahead. Shut up. You know you want to.
Ryan: I'm not hitting anymore.
Larry Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Ryan: And the next time you need somebody to pick you up after one of your d.u.I. S, don't call me.
Ryan: And don't call me rye bread. It's what farrah calls me.
Larry Absurdist Dark/Subversive Larry: Speaking of my ass, if it gets any bigger, it's gonna need a publicist. I'm not kidding. It's gonna have a career of its own soon.
Artie Larry Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: She's probably screwing hans brinker. She's making his skates into earrings as we speak.
Larry Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Artie: That's not my problem now, is it, sweetie?
Larry Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Artie: I'm not sending you one thin gilder.
Artie: go to rotterdam, then you go to amsterdam, then you go down the road to my city. That's right. It's a little place called I don't give a damn.
Beverly: Of course. You didn't really expect to find him here.
Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Larry: He's lucky he's not in that chair, the fucking asshole. Fuck him! Fuck me for taking this shit for so long!
Hank Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Hank: There's those letters I hate. There they are. I hate those fucking letters.
Hank: And now, because he's a big, phony bastard, Larry Sanders!
Artie: Yeah, I recognize that toluca lake accent.
Artie: No, dipshit. I mean recently, before toluca lake.
Artie: You just told me that you watch the show a lot.
Nicolae: Yes, but is no Larry.
Nicolae: Hank. Hank is very good. Ha! You know Hank? Hey now!
Artie: You know why we get along, nic? 'Cause we're brothers. We're the unsung heroes. I clean up shit all day, you clean up shit all night.
Artie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Artie: When you die, you'll go to heaven, you say hello to God, and when God says hello to you, this is what you'll smell on his breath.
Artie Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Artie: You're lucky, nic, 'cause the shit I clean up talks back.
Artie Character Comedy Reaction Beat Artie: I'm gonna resist the urge to, uh, express my anger by using profanity, and I hope you appreciate that, you... scum-sucking asshole!
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: I wish you great success with the show. And personally, I have no ill will toward you... but hope your balls fall off.
Artie Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie: but does it crack? Does it? No!
Artie Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: Because all the pressure in this building, all the stress goes right into that, but does it crack? Does it?
Nicolae: No!
Artie: Aw, say, you bet your ass. Damn right it doesn't.
Artie Escalation Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: 'Cause all people remember is the night the chimp grabbed Larry's balls.
Artie: That's the way it adds up... just a monkey and some balls.
Nicolae Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Artie: Here. Iooky here. I want you to take this. Go on, take it.
Nicolae: No.
Artie: Fuck your pride. Keep the clip, too.
Nicolae: Too very many.
Artie: he gave me this the year he took his show to Florida.
Artie: Why nicolae get mop?
Nicolae: Brother, you throw bottle. You go clean.
Artie Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Artie: You're still the fucking janitor, aren't you?
Nicolae: I hope your balls falling off!
Artie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Nicolae: I hope your balls falling off!
Artie: Ah, fuck you. You're fired.
Nicolae: I union. Union this!
Nicolae: I no need brother like you.
Nicolae: I union. Union this!
Artie Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Larry: He's smiling like that because his refund check from the Betty ford clinic just came in the mail today.
Hank: Everything is Dan-Dan-dandy.
Beverly: Warm, moist, muffin-y goodness. Courtney Cox? Oh, close. A muffin.
Beverly: He's got this friend nicolae. Whew. What a mouth on that one.
Artie · Joel (animal handler): And, Joel, are you an ape or a monkey? / Should I throw it? Is she gonna take the ball? / Ha! Now you know how I feel, pal.
Larry: And he's smiling like that because his refund check from the Betty Ford Clinic just came in the mail today.
Larry Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Artie Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Artie: It's going to be a good one tonight. I feel it.
Artie Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Hank · Artie: Artie, the karaoke machine. / Trouble, Hank? / No, that's just the point. Everything is Dan-Dan-dandy.
Hank · Artie: It appears that someone has vomited in my wastebasket... / I'll get on it right away. / I said to myself, 'well, did I do that?' / But I don't think I did. / Who'd we have on the show last night?
Hank Artie Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Artie · Hank: I believe random vomit is the janitor's responsibility. / Have Brian call and ask for Nicolae. / Is he in? / Yes.
Artie Hank Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Artie · Larry: I'm going to say a few words that'll really make you smile. / OK. / Warm, moist, muffin-y goodness. / Courtney Cox? / Oh, close. A muffin.
Artie Larry Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie · Unnamed Assistant: Is he in? / Yes. / Have you, by chance, gone through his voice-mail messages? / Yes. And he only got one. From Jack Levitz in publicity. / That's the only one he got? / No, but that's the only one he heard.
Larry · Artie: Listen, I told Beverly to place a call to Ryan O'Neal, and I'm going to tell him that it was my fault he was bumped, OK? / Not really necessary, my boy. The storm is past.
Unknown: Oh, you forgot his muffin fork.
Unknown Absurdist Character Comedy Callback Artie: Oh, you forgot his muffin fork.
Artie Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry · Beverly: Beverly, cancel the call to Ryan O'Neal, please. / Hmm? / Uh, sorry. Just cancel it.
Larry · Beverly: You told him that I didn't hear the message, right? / Yeah. / Good, good. / How bad was it? / Bad. Not as bad as the one he left me last year. / He's got this friend Nicolae. Whew. What a mouth on that one.
Larry Reaction Beat Character Comedy Callback Top Episodes — The Larry Sanders Show
