Paula's new assistant, Marylou, manages to upset everyone, even the affable Tim Conway, with her ineffective pre-interview techniques and celebrity research. Hank's effort to cheer up a despondent Brian with a night on the town at several gay bars earns him a prominent mention in Army Archerd's column.
WAR
70
Wins Above Replacement
“The Matchmaker” ranks #75 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 83.9 — Elite. The episode packs 66 scored jokes at 2.5 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Larry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Harvey Fierstein · Larry: Fierstein: 'I know Rayneene, well, except when I knew Rayneene, she was a man. But...' / Cut to commercial.
Tim Conway: Conway's fluorescent light bulb rifle story: 'I took... one of those long, fluorescent bulbs out of the trash and I pointed that at him. And I said, "Halt. Advance and be recognized." And he did, and he said, "What is that?" And I said, "It's a light bulb, and if you come any closer I'll turn it on."'
Tim Conway Character Comedy Absurdist Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Larry: Immediate cut to commercial after Fierstein's Rayneene revelation. The cut itself IS the punchline.
Larry Reaction Beat Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch Callback Tim Conway: Conway's second court martial story: 'I thought if you put all the coal in, like, at 8:00, you wouldn't have to go around again, you know, later. And, uh, then this hospital went up. But, guys who had never walked before came running out of that hospital. That's the truth.'
Tim Conway Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Tim Conway: I, uh, got the trainee, right?
Hank Beverly Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 66 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Marylou: Oh, my God! You sound just like you do in the movies. Stupid is as stupid does.
Marylou: Remember when you were in bosom buddies and you had that wig on?
Paula: This is not the cat counter at petco, OK?
Paula Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Hank: Are you crying?
Hank: Please, don't do that.
Beverly: His boyfriend, Hank. They've been together for over a year and a half.
Hank: Oh, my God. I didn't know that.
Hank Brian Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: Well, that makes one of us.
Paula: God! Kiss ass much?
Larry Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Paula: Did you ask if she'd sleep with you? 'Cause then you nailed it.
Beverly: Mmm, missed a spot. No, on your face.
Nicolette Sheridan: Um, Larry, I wasn't in that movie.
Larry: Well, why don't we take a break, and we'll come right back, and we'll figure out which movie I'm thinking of.
Larry Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Nicolette Sheridan: I've been off for 3 years. You've gotta remember that.
Larry: Did I do something wrong?
Artie: Yes.
Larry Character Comedy Observational Callback Artie: Oh, yes. Yes, I watch everything on this magic box.
Larry Character Comedy Absurdist Larry: I just told Nicolette Sheridan that she was great in a movie, it turned out I was talking about Tori Spelling.
Artie Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Hank: Was it my bad breath? Because, um, I ate an avocado today... but avocado's don't give you bad breath.
Hank: If people only knew.
Nicolette: Paris.
Paula: Paula... I know. I heard.
Marylou Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Marylou: 'Cause this is Tori Amos' bio. Tori Amos is a singer, not an actor.
Hank Brian Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Hank: You get back on the horse. You get back on the horse and you go.
Brian: Go where?
Hank: Wherever the fucking horse goes.
Hank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Gordon: Oh, my go... do you know who you are?
Hank: Yes I do.
Gordon: Do you know who you are?
Gordon: You are very popular in the gay community, Hank.
Hank: See, I told ya.
Hank Cringe/Discomfort Irony/Sarcasm Callback Sidekick by day, gay caballero by night.
Hank: Well, that's a lie. We never went to mother lode.
Hank: Yes! Yes! Rayneene, perfect.
Hank Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Hank: Tell her to wear something very short and very tight.
Tim Conway: Well, I'd like my car detailed.
Hank Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Tim Conway: I, uh, got the trainee, right?
Hank Beverly Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Paula: What is wrong with you? Nicolette sheridan was on the show last night.
Marylou: I know, but she's on my calendar for tonight, too.
Beverly Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Callback Marylou: Tied up. And, uh, harriet? Tied up.
Tim Conway: He'll ask me about speed 2! I'll fill in! I'll have some funny stories about sandra, OK?!
Larry: That's what my friends used to do, too.
Larry: Now my underpants are gonna smell like starbucks.
Larry: Um, he's fanning my penis right now.
Larry: It's a good thing you don't work at a hardware store, because then it'd be a bad date, as opposed to this where you've dragged me into it.
Tim Conway: But at this weight horses ask you to get off.
Tim Conway: I found that if you rode to the outside fence, then it was much safer, 'cause, you know, sometimes they run into each other on the inside there. It's longer. But it's safer, and I think safety, in this particular instance, is pretty good.
Larry Artie Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tim Conway: I have him in a little tin hut up here in beverly hills, little monkey strapped to his leg and everything, you know, just to kind of keep him active.
Paula: Cock suck, I don't understand it.
Larry Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Larry: No, well, it used to be, it's up to 4 bits.
Paula: Letterman already does that.
Tim Conway: And I said, 'it's a light bulb, and if you come any closer I'll turn it on.'
Tim Conway: But, guys who had never walked before came running out of that hospital. That's the truth.
Tim Conway: I haven't had any sex since the apple dumpling gang, so this is quite a treat.
Paula Reaction Beat Character Comedy Harvey Fierstein: I know rayneene, well, except when I knew rayneene, she was a man.
Larry: Hank, are you OK?
Hank: Oh, no, I'm not. I'm not OK.
Artie: One of the great moments in television. Talk show, here we come.
Artie Paula Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Larry: I don't smell anything, do you?
Nicolette: Mmm, no. Vanilla latte.
Tim Conway: Conway's fluorescent light bulb rifle story: 'I took... one of those long, fluorescent bulbs out of the trash and I pointed that at him. And I said, "Halt. Advance and be recognized." And he did, and he said, "What is that?" And I said, "It's a light bulb, and if you come any closer I'll turn it on."'
Tim Conway Character Comedy Absurdist Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Tim Conway: Conway's second court martial story: 'I thought if you put all the coal in, like, at 8:00, you wouldn't have to go around again, you know, later. And, uh, then this hospital went up. But, guys who had never walked before came running out of that hospital. That's the truth.'
Tim Conway Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Tim Conway · Larry · Hank: Conway: 'Listen, congratulations, I hear you're girlfriend's here tonight.' / Hank says yes. / Conway: 'I haven't had any sex since the Apple Dumpling Gang, so this is quite a treat.'
Tim Conway · Larry: Conway on his way out whispers to Larry about Marylou: 'Keep that Marylou away from me.'
Hank · Larry: Hank thanks Larry for asking about Rayneene on-air. Larry: 'Should I ask everyone to bring it up?' / Hank: 'Not everyone, but, uh, why, is there a problem?' / Larry: 'It's just that you asked me before the show, and then I did it. And then, you sure that's not enough?' / Hank: 'I mean, that's, uh, enough's enough.'
Harvey Fierstein · Larry: Harvey Fierstein enters: 'Larry, Larry, Larry. Last time I said, "Larry, Larry, Larry," it was to Olivier. My life is not going well. How are you?'
Larry · Harvey Fierstein: Larry: 'You're frightening at first.' / Fierstein: 'Am I that way to you? Do you see me and go, "oh, my God." You know, "settle down?"' / Larry: 'Well, I'm not used to seeing you with clothes on. I mean my clothes, usually. You know, I watch you at home. I'm laying in bed at night and watching you at home.'
Harvey Fierstein · Larry: Fierstein: 'I lie in bed and watch the show.' / Larry: 'Now, Harvey... / Fierstein: 'Sometimes the world, it's a small... I know Rayneene. I actually know Rayneene.'
Harvey Fierstein · Larry: Fierstein: 'I know Rayneene, well, except when I knew Rayneene, she was a man. But...' / Cut to commercial.
Larry: Immediate cut to commercial after Fierstein's Rayneene revelation. The cut itself IS the punchline.
Larry Reaction Beat Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch Callback Hank · Larry: Hank backstage after the Fierstein reveal: 'Oh, no, I'm not. I'm not OK.' / Larry: 'I thought you were, like, doing a bit or something.' / Hank: 'You really didn't know?' / Larry: 'No, I didn't know.'
Hank Larry Cringe/Discomfort Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: Artie backstage: 'One of the great moments in television. Talk show, here we come.'
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Larry · Artie: Larry: 'You didn't fire Marylou, did you?' / Artie: 'Want to?'
Nicolette Sheridan · Larry: Nicolette Sheridan: 'It would've been a pretty tough act to follow.' — about having been bumped by the Fierstein chaos
Larry · Nicolette Sheridan: Larry leans in toward Nicolette: 'I don't smell anything, do you?' / Nicolette: 'Mmm, no. Vanilla latte.'
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