Larry begins to date Illeana Douglas, but feels compelled to rehearse her through her segment. Meanwhile, Brian brings a sexual harassment suit against Phil for all his gay jokes.
WAR
79.1
Wins Above Replacement
“Putting the "Gay" Back in Litigation” ranks #51 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 86.5 — Elite. The episode packs 70 scored jokes at 2.7 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 7.1 on impact, with Phil landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Phil: That's my joke.
Phil: He's a fucking asshole.
Artie: Absolutely.
Hank Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: Oh, by the way, Drew Barrymore's lawyer just called me.
Larry: What's that about?
Larry Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Larry: Was there an all-girls school there, by any chance?
Illeana: Actually, it was right near beaver meadow.
Phil Character Comedy Callback Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Phil: I think my dog is gay because his penis tastes bitter.
Artie: Final beat: 'Oh, by the way, Drew Barrymore's lawyer just called me. What's that about?'
Artie Callback Misdirection ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 70 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Phil: Yeah, I was up till 4:00 in the morning fucking my brains out.
Phil Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Beverly: Eww! Nobody wants to hear that, phil.
Brian: I do.
Phil Brian Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Phil: What is it, some gay holiday? Gay groundhog day?
Phil: You know, on my way into work I figured out what the faggiest car you could drive is. A rose parade float.
Phil Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive Brian: I drive a saturn.
Phil: I stand corrected.
Phil Brian Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Brian: Uh, shouldn't you be working on the monologue, Phil?
Phil: This is the monologue.
Phil: You know how you can tell you're gay? It's when you lean over and you see 4 balls.
Hank Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Phil: Gay people makes really dramatic exits... A walk to the door... A graceful pivot... One last look of contempt... And slam!
Hank Character Comedy Escalation Brian: You're a real jerk.
Phil: Nice slam!
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Ed Begley Jr.: You're a funny man and a great environmentalist, which explains why you're always recycling jokes.
Ed Begley Jr.: Now, Hank, if this runs, am I gonna get paid?
Paula: But lucky for you, one of bobby berosini's chimps fell off his bike, so you can have 5 minutes Friday night.
Illeana: I mean, not the place where he hit his head and died and everything. It was, actually, another place.
Phil Cringe/Discomfort Absurdist Larry: She's a good guest, right?
Artie: Absolutely.
Larry: Really?
Artie: Absolutely.
Artie: Please, don't ask me again.
Larry: She's a good guest, right?
Artie Brian Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie: Well, there's no dead spots, that's for sure.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Sweetie, the last show is packed fuller than Barishnikov's tights.
Larry Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Brian: On august fourth I said I didn't eat meat, and phil said, 'Does that mean your boyfriend has a tofu cock?'
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Phil: I hate going to hawaii because I can't tell the native hawaiians from the homosexuals, because they're both wearing the same shirts.
Artie Character Comedy Reaction Beat Phil: I tried to do windsurfing, and accidentally got a blow job.
Phil Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Brian: It doesn't even make sense. / What gay guys wear Hawaiian shirts?
Beverly: Have you been on santa monica boulevard in the last 10 years? / I take sunset.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Hank: So, show your tits.
Drew Barrymore: What?
Hank: Well, you know, like you did on-- on Letterman.
Drew Barrymore: What the fuck are you talking about?
Director: Cut. Cut. Cut.
Hank: I thought that was, like, your shtick, you know. Like I do 'hey now.'
Hank: Do you want to show a little, uh-- No? A little tuckus?
Phil Character Comedy Running Gag Larry: You haven't thought about it? It's comin' up in a couple days.
Illeana: I know. I thought I'd just wing it.
Larry: Wing it?
Brian Phil Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Larry: You're gonna be great. You're always great when you wing it.
Hank: Oh, yeah, I hear he's gay!
Artie: Fuck you.
Phil Wordplay/Pun Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Artie: It's thicker than Heidi fleiss' phone book.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Artie: Well, I suggest you try to get to the good jokes without going through Brian's ass.
Phil: [Straining] We are great.
Lawyer Phil Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Brian: Phil, do you like my outfit?
Phil: Yes, I do.
Brian: Isn't it fetching?
Phil: Yeah, that's-- that's not the word I'm looking for.
Hank Character Comedy Visual Gag Phil: What, did you get that at the freddy mercury estate sale?
Bruno Kirby Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Brian: And when I say 'straight,' I mean guys. And when I say 'come,' I mean on my face.
Beverly: I wish my ass looked like that.
Phil: I think my dog is gay because his penis tastes bitter.
Phil: That's my joke.
Phil: He's a fucking asshole.
Artie: Absolutely.
Hank Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Phil: Did you see what he was wearing? This is entrapment!
Artie: You know who runs this town?
Phil: The jews.
Artie: No. The gay jews.
Hank: It just didn't feel...sincere.
Hank: I would just-- I would make it bigger.
Bruno Kirby: Bruno kirby doesn't take direction from some talk show sidekick.
Hank: Now you've got something. Bring that--
Bruno Kirby: I was in the godfather, for god's sake.
Bruno Kirby: And Bruno Kirby doesn't take direction from some talk show sidekick.
Hank: Oh, well, see I only-- I only saw the third one, the good one.
Larry Meta/Self-Referential Reaction Beat Hank: Oh, well, see I only-- I only saw the third one, the good one.
Larry Setup/Punchline Meta/Self-Referential Illeana: Cockaponset.
Larry: Pardon me?
Illeana: What?
Larry: What was cockaponset?
Illeana: The name of the forest.
Larry: Oh, that's hilarious.
Illeana: And I said, 'hey, I need a psychic for that?'
Larry: Wow! A little clear-air turbulence right there.
Larry Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement Larry: How can it take 17 minutes to read a TV guide?
Beverly: Wow. Larry's monologue really sucks tonight.
Brian: Oh, I'm sorry.
Beverly: No problem.
Beverly Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Artie: Hitting new levels of self-loathing, Larry.
Larry: Cheers, motherfucker.
Beverly Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Larry: I actually don't know if anyone is still watching.
Beverly: Well, I was born black.
Brian: What? What does that mean?
Beverly: Well, you chose to be gay.
Brian: Shame about your monologue.
Brian Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Larry: Guess what. I just put a lawyer on retainer.
Larry: Five fucking grand for one phone call.
Brian: Thank you.
Brian Phil Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Brian: I wore that outfit just to provoke you.
Brian: You know that i, um-- I just bought it that morning.
Brian Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: Cape fear is the nickname for me in the bedroom. It's a superhero I play. I come out in a cape and have fear written all over one specific part... of my body.
Hank Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Larry: Cape Fear is the nickname for me in the bedroom. It's a superhero I play. I come out in a cape and have fear written all over one specific part... of my body.
Larry Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Phil: And I'm gonna be blackballed by the gay jews.
Phil Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: Was there an all-girls school there, by any chance?
Illeana: Actually, it was right near beaver meadow.
Phil Character Comedy Callback Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Illeana: I think it's more important to you whether or not I'm a good guest on your show.
Larry: I'm a fuckin' talk show host, ok? I'm all fucked up.
Phil Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Illeana: I paused at the beaver meadow thing. The beaver meadow thing killed. Like you told me. And then I-- I did the cannon joke. The cannon joke? Did you hear the audience?
Illeana: I paused at the beaver meadow thing.
Illeana: The beaver meadow thing killed.
Illeana: Like you told me.
Artie: Looks like they settled out of court.
Artie: Oh, by the way, Drew Barrymore's lawyer just called me.
Larry: What's that about?
Larry Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Larry: Oh, by the way, Drew Barrymore's lawyer just called me.
Artie: What's that about?
Larry · Illeana Douglas: Larry gushing about Illeana's performance after she asks: 'I paused at the Beaver Meadow thing. The Beaver Meadow thing killed. Like you told me.' — then the whole rundown of psychic, cannon, pastry
Larry · Artie: Larry: 'Maybe he can't handle the emotion on the tape.' — Artie: 'Just fuck these tapes.'
Artie: Artie: 'Looks like they settled out of court.' [re: Phil and Brian's crying scene]
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Misdirection ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: Final beat: 'Oh, by the way, Drew Barrymore's lawyer just called me. What's that about?'
Artie Callback Misdirection ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — The Larry Sanders Show
