Homer develops a snoring problem, so Marge decides to spend a night with her sisters Patty and Selma. After a night of drinking, Marge sees a news report about her ex-prom date Artie Ziff, who is now very wealthy, and decides to send him an e-mail. Artie is still obsessed with Marge, so he offers the Simpsons $1 million in exchange for Marge spending a weekend with him.
WAR
48.5
Wins Above Replacement
“Half Decent Proposal” ranks #220 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.6 — Elite. The episode packs 73 scored jokes at 4.9 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: I'm gonna leave this world the way I entered it, dirty, screaming, and torn away from the woman I love.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Patty: It's a cable show about four single women who act like gay men.
Patty Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Artie: You can't spell party without Artie, if you misspell party. Or Artie.
Artie Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie: Your wife's virtues shall remain as untouched as Bill Gates' weight room.
Artie Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Marge: Well, he seemed like a sweet little shrimp. But then he turned into an octopus.
Marge Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 73 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: Ooh, Jar Jar, everyone hates you but me.
Homer Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Bart: Cool! Mom's on drugs. If we turn her in, we can get a form letter from Dick Cheney.
Bart Dark/Subversive Observational ★ Rewatch Marge: You know how hard it is to get a doctor on Wednesday morning.
Marge Observational Irony/Sarcasm Marge: I haven't lost so much sleep since little Bartie had the scoots.
Marge Character Comedy Observational Dr. Hibbert · Homer: Here's what it costs. Interesting. Here's my counteroffer.
Marge Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Marge · Lisa: So Lisa, do you have a date for the harvest dance? This is not a good time! It's never a good time!
Patty: Overnight bag, no husband in sight! It's happened!
Patty Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Selma: She left Homer? I'll get the Champale. And let's get that ring off.
Selma Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Selma: Great. We'll have a girls night. No bras!
Selma Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Patty: It's a cable show about four single women who act like gay men.
Patty Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch TV character: If I'm not having sex by the end of this goat cheese quesadilla, I'm gonna scream.
TV character: I also enjoy sex.
TV characters: Since this morning, I've had sex with a New York Knick, two subway cops and a guy who works on Wall Street. Broker? Nah, she's just really sore.
Patty · Selma: This is so like our lives. It's like they hid a camera in our apartment.
TV announcer: Gentlemen, start your envy!
TV announcer: Artie made mega bucks with a revolutionary invention, a converter that changes that horrible modem noise into easy listening music.
TV announcer: Also available with lyrics.
Singer: Hey, computer geek / You will be connected in no time
Singer Absurdist Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Marge: Well, he seemed like a sweet little shrimp. But then he turned into an octopus.
Marge Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Marge · Artie: Artie! Artie, no! Stop! Marge. Marge, you know you can't resist my busy hands. Artie, get off of me!
Selma: Are you nuts? E-mail, female.
Selma Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Marge · Patty · Selma: Dear Artie. Dear Hottie. Congratulations on your recent TV appearance. I want to sex you up. Your love slave, Marge.
Marge: You can't use the word 'sex' on the Internet.
Marge Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Selma Character Comedy Reaction Beat Artie: A note from Marge Simpson? Well, isn't that a coincidence? I was just thinking about her. For the last 20 years.
Artie Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Lisa: Hey, a helicopter's landing on our lawn. Let's approach with caution.
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Artie: Unguarded breakfasts. The sweetest taboo.
Artie Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Artie: You can't spell party without Artie, if you misspell party. Or Artie.
Artie Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie · Homer: Was it consummated? Pretty much, yeah.
Artie Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Marge: Homer, don't talk with your mouth full. I've told you before, it's rude!
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart: Hey, Marge! It's that guy who couldn't get any off you!
Bart Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: It's like being married to my best friend, and he lets me feel his boobs.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: How much sex would be involved? Because if it's some...
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: You'll win her yet, Artie. I mean, Arr-tie!
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Homer: If we had Artie's money, I could get that snoring surgery. Plus at least two of those other surgeries I desperately need.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Marge: Just like I got used to saying 'Courteney Cox-Arquette.'
Marge Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: One squeaking spring symphony coming up.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Marge: Wow! Homer, that was amazing!
Marge Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort Marge: Are you snoring while you're awake?
Marge Observational Escalation Homer: And by funny stuff, I mean hand-holding, goo-goo eyes, misdirected woo, which is pretty much any John Woo film.
Homer Escalation Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Artie: Your wife's virtues shall remain as untouched as Bill Gates' weight room.
Artie Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: I didn't sell her. I just rented her to an old boyfriend.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Barney: That's gonna buy him a lot of swings in the old batting cage.
Barney Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Homer: Even after I bought her that hockey fight tape?
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Moe: He's like a spy in the house of Moe.
Moe Wordplay/Pun Observational ★ Rewatch Artie: Forwards? No. Backwards! To the sexy '70s!
Artie Character Comedy Absurdist Band member · Disco Stu: I can't believe he's paying us a thousand bucks to pretend it's the '70s. Disco Stu is working pro bono.
Artie: Tonight you get the prom you always deserved.
Artie Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Callback Artie: The band hasn't worked since the wrap party for James at 16. Some say they're cursed.
Artie Observational Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: Oh, my God, it's our high school prom! And once again I have no date!
Homer Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Principal Dondelinger · Homer: And have you been drinking? Just for 25 years.
Artie: Very well, Marge. I see you'll never feel about moi the way I feel about toi.
Artie Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Bart: Oh, no! If Marge marries Artie, I'll never be born!
Bart Absurdist Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Artie: Stop looking at me! Keep dancing!
Artie Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Homer: Oh, guys, it was horrible. I saw Marge kissing a far superior man.
Homer Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Moe: Well, if it makes you feel any better, he's probably doing her right now.
Moe Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Moe: Oh, yeah. Make me the bad guy.
Moe Reaction Beat Character Comedy Homer: Send the bill to Baron Von Kiss-a-lot.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Homer: Marge, if you're watching this then it means I've figured out how to work the camera.
Homer Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Homer with dolls: Kiss me, Artie. With pleasure. Homer's a big jerk. Ooh.
Homer · Bart: Don't worry about the kids. I'll drop them off with Patty and Selma. Patty and Selma? Screw that!
Homer Bart Character Comedy Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Lenny · Homer: I carved that one wonderful summer. What did Carl think? You know, we've never discussed it.
Lenny Homer Character Comedy Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch Homer: I'm gonna leave this world the way I entered it, dirty, screaming, and torn away from the woman I love.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer: Quick and pointless. That's the death for me.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Lisa: But West Springfield's three times the size of Texas. We'll never find him there.
Lisa Absurdist Observational ★ Rewatch Marge · Artie: Does that work on anyone? No. But when it does, hello!
Marge Artie Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Homer: Looks like we're goners. Oh, well. Circle of life.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Artie: Listen to me, Homer! You've won! You own Marge's heart, and that's something I could never buy.
Artie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: I can't take his money. Oh. I can't take his money. I can't print my own money. I have to work for money. Why don't I just lie down and die?
Homer Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Artie: Now, Homer, if there's one thing you should've learned from all this, it's that I'm rich, rich, rich! And now, I bid you adieu!
Artie Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Artie: He's a loser, Marge. Dump him! I travel the world and the seven seas I am watching you through a camera!
Artie Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — The Simpsons
