Mypods And Boomsticks

Background singers:# Oh, Christmas tree, oh, Christmas tree, # You're on the curb and dead now # Your Christmas lights are in the box. In two months we will change the clocks #

Homer:Gee, they sure give the Christmas spirit the bum's rush around here.

Mall MLK actor · Kid:MEET MARTIN LUTHER KING - So, young man, have you judged people by the content of their character this year? - Yes, Reverend Doctor. - Lunchtime! - Free at last! Free at last!

Homer · Marge · Bart:I'm returning this kitten calendar. - Um, I'm also returning this kitten calendar. - Kitten calendar.

Lisa:Hey, those are 15 month calendars! That gives you three extra kittens!

Bart:Man, those are ugly kittens!

Lisa:It's so sterile!

Comic Book Guy · Store employee:Operating System 4.2 has sloppier architecture than a Tijuana anthill. - Did you get peanut butter in your Ethernet port again? - No. I got mayonnaise in the CD drive.

Store employee · Homer:It's fueled by dreams and powered by imagination. - What does it do? - You should ask yourself, 'What can I do for it?'

Homer · Store employee:But it's glowing. - That light confirms that it's off.

Milhouse · Store employee:I can't afford any of your products but can I buy some fake white earbuds, so people will think I have a MyPod? - Sure, those are called 'MyPhonies.' - Oh, and they cost $40.

Krusty:I hate this MyPod! I can't watch movies on a screen this small. And the music today-- don't get me started!

Krusty:I said, don't get me started!

Krusty:Come on, isn't someone going to get me started?!

Krusty:Uh, let's go, Teeny. Maybe somebody at Old Navy will get me started.

Krusty:Thank the Jewish Clown Awards gift basket.

Steve Mobbs:And that announcement is... You're all losers!

Steve Mobbs:You think you're cool because you buy a $500 phone with a picture of a fruit on it?! Well, guess what? They cost eight bucks to make and I pee on every one!

Steve Mobbs:I have made a fortune off you chumps and I've invested it all in Microsoft! Now my boyfriend, Bill Gates, and I kiss each other on a pile of your money!

Comic Book Guy:Traitor! Your heart is blacker than your turtleneck!

Bart:Stupid angry mob, chasing me because I shine a harsh light on modern society. Now I know how Dane Cook feels.

Bart:Mmm, what's that exotic aroma? It smells like a hamburger cooked at a rug store.

Bart:Whoa! All these years I've been petting lambs when I should've been shoving them in my mouth!

Bart:Jordan. That's on some map somewhere, right?

Bart:Bashir, you didn't tell me you had a sister.

Bart:Hey, I never refuse food from strangers.

Groundskeeper Willie:Ah, that's not clever! And I have so many aspects you can mock! I'm poor, I'm dirty, I can't read or write, I think movies are real!

Bart · Bashir:coleslaw, tuna, all chowders and gumbos. The only thing that's safe is the pork chops. - My religion says I can never eat pork.

Bart:A different religion?! Do not tell anyone that because if the bullies around here find out that you're different...

Jimbo:'Bash here'? I love a kid that comes with directions.

Dolph:I'm going to punch you extra hard 'cause I secretly think you're cute.

Jimbo:You're the reason I can't carry toothpaste on an airplane!

Bart · Kearney:Jimbo, you're Christian, Dolph, you're Jewish, and, Kearney, your family's in that cult Moe started. - I had to join. My mom's doing the savior. - I mean, the one true Moe.

Kearney · Moe:Help me, almighty Moe! - Can't. I'm not really a god. I was just acting crazy to get out of jury duty.

Girl 1:Look at Lisa Simpson, over there by herself. Not talking to us, her best friends! Do we hate her? YES!

Lisa:Check out 'Moon Dreams' from Miles Davis' 'Birth of the cool'.

Visual gag:DIEPOD SLAYLIST

Homer · Marge:Marge, I installed all the low-energy bulbs. What have you done with the old ones? - Disposed of them in an environmentally friendly manner.

Bashir · Bart · Homer:Salaam alaikum! - Salaam alaikum! - Milhouse is looking good! He's got contacts, changed color, got a cool new catchphrase.

Homer:Sir? That's the kind of respect you'd have to strangle out of an American kid.

Homer · Bashir's father:You know, Bart never told me he had a handsome teenage brother. - Oh, uh, I'm really 38. - 38 waist I might believe.

Homer:Hey, Bashir's great. If Derek Jeter married Mariah Carey-- wouldn't last but I bet they'd have a kid like him.

Lenny:Homer, this is serious. This Bashir kid is Muslim, and therefore up to something.

Homer:Oh, I can't believe that till I see a fictional TV program espousing your point of view.

TV Show:For the last time, Fayed, where did you hide the nerve gas?! - Under your Statue of Liberty's dress! - And she loved it!

Lenny:That's pretty patriotic, but I got a better idea. Invite 'em over. A little dinner, a little dessert, and then you Jack Bauer 'em into giving you all their secrets.

Homer:Ah, interesting. Why, just the other day, I was reading that science is used to make bombs.

Homer:What's the matter? Don't like the taste of freedom?

Lisa:Don't fear them just because they have a different religion, a different culture, and their last name is Bin Laden.

Bashir's father · Homer:Young man, you do not respect us by disrespecting your father. - I like the way you Italians think.

Homer:I'm sorry. It's just so fun and easy to judge people based on religion.

Homer:But we're the more powerful country for a few more years.

Homer:I am sorry I suspected you of being soulless murders of innocent children.

Homer:Dynamite? They are terrorists. Must leave quietly.

Homer:Marge! I was right! Everybody is whatever I think they are.

Genie · Homer:Hi, Homer! - You rubbed? You must like me. You really, really like me.

Genie:Good morning, Ramadan! Come to Crazy Fayeddie's! Our prices are Hussein!

Homer · Bashir's father · Bashir's mother:I got to prove the genie was right. - Off to work. - Sometimes I wish you would quit that awful business. - But I love blowing up buildings.

Bashir's father · Bashir's mother:Safely and legally, in order to make room for new buildings. - Darling, I think you are working much too hard. - Yes, I am killing myself, but it is all for the profit, and after the explosion, I will be in a better place. - That corner office with the downtown view.

Homer:I want to apologize for being such a jerk at dinner, and I thought the best way to do that would be to come to your house and poke around.

Homer · Bashir's father:I read somewhere your people are hospitable to guests. Is that true? - Yes. - Praise be Oliver. - That's Allah. - Yeah... we'll look it up in the Corona.

Homer · Paramedic:Ooh, here comes the ambulance. - My, you're a handsome fellow. - Just get in the ambulance, Mr. Simpson. We'll see to your finger.

Homer:Boy, don't blow up this mall. It has the cookie store that gives free samples.

Bashir's father:Did you factor in one bald idiot?

Bashir · Bart:Did we really need a bridge there? - The Duff brewery is on that island.

Homer:PARDON MY INTOLERANCE - That banner has really paid for itself over the years.

Homer:She said something about 'the bottom of the ocean' and 'be back in a month.'

Mapple guide:The cost of this journey will be added to your bill.

Steve Mobbs:I'm sorry. I know our posters say 'Think differently,' but our real slogan is 'No refunds.'