The Blue And The Gray

Homer:D'oh!

Lenny · Carl:I love our Valentine's Day tradition of going out with each other's sisters. Is there anything better than my best friend's face on a girl body?

Moe:Stir a drop of Jagermeister into some pink lemonade, slice in some strawberry ChapStick, call it Cupid's ambrosia

Moe:Do you have plans for tonight? What, are you crazy? Of course I do. Got a hot date. Come on, scram, so I can get ready.

Moe:I'm telling you, I'm fine. I never been happier. See? There. There, that's a smile, right? Showing teeth, eyes all crinkly.

Moe:Even you let me down, Hitler!

TV Host:your love life is like Sister Act 3-- no Whoopi!

Moe:I knew my love life was like that movie somehow.

Dr. Kissingher:turn from couch potato to sex tornado

Homer:Drive my kids to school! Never!

Homer:Stupid double snuggler's hitch! Only hope is to chew off my leg! Ow! Mmm, not bad. Just 127 more hours.

Homer:Homer's reaction to Marge finding gray hair - awkward silence and topic change

Homer:A lot of movie stars have gray hair, like all those women we loved in the '80s.

Marge · Homer:Homie, you always mean to say the nicest things. Well, it's not easy with you talking all the time.

Barney · Moe:is this the seminar where you learn how to pick up free escorts? Well, we're not learning how to fold cloth napkins.

Dr. Kissingher:Once we were single-celled organisms who could replicate whenever we wanted. We were men back then!

Willie:It's hell to meet girls when you're paid in chickens.

Willie:all I do is get drunk and kill squirrels with me shovel.

Dr. Kissingher · Willie:Hi. I'm William. I'm a connoisseur of fine spirits, and I love animals to death.

Dr. Kissingher:Ah! A monster! Save me! Sorry, that was unprofessional. Please, go on.

Moe:As a kid, I had roundworm. Heck, I was more worm than boy for a couple of years.

Moe:I dabbled in Satanism until I was asked to leave.

Dr. Kissingher · Moe:He can't more handsome or appealing than you. Let's take a flip through the old Moe-lodex.

Moe · Professor Frink:What if I see her hand at the same time you see her face? Face beats hand!

Marge:Homer had the basketball game muted the whole time.

Julio:You've been grayer than a Seattle Cinco de Mayo for years now.

Julio:It's a battle of the Blue and Gray here, and I am Gaybraham Lincoln, baby.

Homer:Homer's internal debate about how to respond to Marge's hair

Homer's brain:We could fake a stroke. The last time we faked a stroke, it led to a real one.

Homer:So... chicken.

Lisa:I know I use the word 'empowering' a lot, but this time, it really is that.

Bart:I just have one question about hair. Where does mine start? Head, head, head, hair. Where's the border?

Maggie:What are we?

Homer:you've always been beautiful, but now you're my silver belle.

Homer:I feel like I'm married to Richard Gere.

Homer:I'm just going to draw a hairline on.

Professor Frink:Like West Virginia does for Virginia.

Lenny:You ever notice that pizzas have gotten so small lately? They're like dimes.

Lenny:No, they just sawed off the ends and painted over the nubs.

Carl:Oh! Judi Dench?! Kiss me, 007.

Bart:They should warn you when he's coming.

Milhouse · Bart:Normally, I think your mom is hot... Take that back! I'm sorry. What I mean is, she's not hot anymore. Take that back!

Milhouse:Just like my mom on her 'can't dance' days.

Woman:I hope I look half as good as you when I give up.

Child:Grandma had hair like that when she went to sleep in her forever box.

Cashier:They'll give four diamonds to any place that's got a lid on the toilet.

Cashier · Marge:Well, you know, maybe you belong to the A.A... The A.A.? No! Oh, no, I meant the A.A... A.A.A.? No, I'm not in Triple-A. I don't like their Westways magazine. They'll give four diamonds to any place that's got a lid on the toilet. No, I meant the A.A... R... P?! The A.A.R.P.?!

Elderly employee:I can imagine the pepperonis are Swiss chalets nestled in a big layer of mozzarella snow!

Skinner:That's an excessive number of times.

Skinner:Thank God. I don't want to, either.

Principal Skinner:They recently learned they were once two-thirds of conjoined triplets. And the third one is out for revenge.

Skinner:They recently learned they were once two-thirds of conjoined triplets. And the third one is out for revenge.

Patty:Your hair committed blue-icide.

Selma:That means he hates it. If he really liked it, he'd just paw at it instead of getting all clever.

Barista:Ma'am, are you sure that's wise, with what I presume is your heart condition?

Marge:Look out, chicks. The silver fox is coming to the henhouse.

Barkeeper:What, did he eat your candy house and push you into the oven?

Woman · Homer:I've never seen a drunk hold his vomit like you. I do keep it together.

Woman · Homer:I've never seen a drunk hold his vomit like you. I do keep it together.

Mr. Burns:I flew the first packet of royal mail across the Khyber Pass, dodging the poison-tipped spears of the dreaded Zim-Zam Tribe.

Mr. Burns:Which of you wants to be the sliced haddock in a geezer sandwich?

Dr. Kissingher:This is a situation I call 'The Doctor Is O.'.'

Homer:Including Val Kilmer from Top Gun, Wedge Antilles from Star Wars, and me, from now.

Lisa:Well, as a feminist, virtually anything a woman does is empowering. Oh. Is my job creating power, empowering? No. It's oddly dehumanizing.

Old woman · Bart:Oh, hello, young man! Where's your father? He's dying in a retirement home. Now kiss me.