A parody of "Homeland". Homer starts to act strangely polite after returning from a nuclear power plant convention, prompting a suspicious Lisa to ask an intense FBI agent named Annie (Kristen Wiig) to help her solve this mystery.
WAR
36.2
Wins Above Replacement
“Homerland” ranks #423 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 74.9 — Great. The episode packs 69 scored jokes at 4.3 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.3 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Apu · Chief Wiggum: Chief Wiggum, how come every time there's a terrorist chatter in this town, you come to me? Lay off, Apu. When I look at people, I don't see colors. I just see crackpot religions.
Homer: Lisa, I've never prayed to a city in my life, and if I did, it would be Hershey, Pennsylvania.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Chief Wiggum: Sorry I'm late, everyone. I had some trouble getting the voice mails off the 9-1-1 line. Why does everyone have to talk so fast and panicky? A man with a gun is in my house. Gibberish.
Homer · Lisa: Lisa, I'll miss you when this is all over. When what's all over? This conversation. See you on the other side. What other side? Of the house. Where the fireplace is. We're toasting marshmallows. Marsh... mallows.
Homer Lisa Misdirection Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Halpern: Put up your nukes! Halpern! Hey-hey! The wild man of Wichita! I still haven't forgiven you for putting that dead goat in my bed. He wasn't dead till you rolled over on him! Ha!
All Jokes — 69 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ TV Narrator: I grew up in a little town in Arkansas, whose name, ironically, was Terrorism.
Homer: Ooh, there's new marshmallows in the Belfast Charms!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Marge: No! No, that's Bart's cereal. It's the only way I can get him to take his 'vitamins.'
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Homer: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side. That's not right. Yes, it is. They're my lines as the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: It's a little sad-- the guys who did the funny skit last year, well, they're all very sick.
Homer Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm Homer: Even better. I never unpacked from the time we went to Hawaii.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: Whoo! My lava's almost cooled!
Homer Visual Gag Character Comedy Marge: I can't believe I have to miss taking the kids to buy gym uniforms. Send me a picture?
Marge Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Marge: Poor guy. Salt of the earth.
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Reaction Beat Homer · Convention Buddy: Man I love conventions. Yeah, they're the perfect combination of work and binge drinking.
Homer: Now look guys, we are here for one important reason. To get free swag. Swag, I'm gonna grab forever. Somethin' I really don't need. Swag! I'm gonna have 40 key chains. And I don't even have 40 keys. Swag!
Homer Escalation Absurdist Character Comedy Homer · Booth Worker: ♪ More free stuff ♪ ♪ More free stuff ♪ Uh, all I have are these spec sheets. ♪ More free stuff, more free stuff ♪ ♪ Swag!
Lenny: There's that woman I always have a 'same time next year' affair with.
Lenny Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Carl: And she's with her frumpy friend I always have dinner with when you two disappear. Mm-hmm-hmm.
Carl Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer · Halpern: Put up your nukes! Halpern! Hey-hey! The wild man of Wichita! I still haven't forgiven you for putting that dead goat in my bed. He wasn't dead till you rolled over on him! Ha!
Homer · Halpern: Halpern, what will you think of next? Nothing. This is it.
IT Worker: Hey, here's a brainstorm for you. Check if it's plugged in before you call I.T.! You think I like talking you monkeys through a password change?!
Lenny: Homer, Homer-- when did I see him last? Geez, I don't know. Yeah, Homer's a great guy, but that doesn't mean I constantly think about whether he's still alive or not.
Lenny Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Photographer · Bystander: You're taking a picture of 'em in their moment of grief? It's okay. This camera has an 'auto cheer' feature.
Chief Wiggum · Marge: Maybe he was mistaken for a dead elephant and flown back to Kenya. You're talking about my husband. To spare your feelings, we'll just call him the Blob.
Chief Wiggum: Two to one says the Blob is stuck in the water-intake pipe at the reservoir.
Chief Wiggum: Sorry I'm late, everyone. I had some trouble getting the voice mails off the 9-1-1 line. Why does everyone have to talk so fast and panicky? A man with a gun is in my house. Gibberish.
Homer: Well, all the pay phones at the airport were replaced by self-serve yogurt. I ate all the cookie dough toppings a man could want. So many cookies will never be born.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Marge: Dear Christian God... Hey! Sorry. Dear God-- you know which one I mean-- thank you for returning our Homie.
Marge Character Comedy Observational Lisa · Bart: It's hard to sleep with one unkissed cheek. Yeah, it's tough being man of the house. You left some big underpants to fill.
Bart · Homer: I didn't know they made Underoos in size 52. They're called Superoos, son. With pictures of the cast of The Expendables. More like The Expandables.
Bart · Homer: Why didn't you strangle me? That kind of small-scale violence solves nothing.
Marge: Ta-da! Pork chops crusted with Cheeto dust.
Marge Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: I'll just enjoy these green beans with slivered almonds. Mmm, so slivered. Mmm.
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Lisa: Bart, why is the dad I always wished for creeping me out?
Lisa Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Bart · Lisa: I don't know. 'Cause you're incapable of experiencing joy? Yay. Point taken.
Bart Lisa Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Barney: Water? That stuff killed my grandmother. So sad.
Barney Absurdist Character Comedy Marge: I'm not sure a man who eats right and doesn't drink can be good in bed.
Marge Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: You're so beautiful when I cut you off in the middle of a question.
Homer Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Marge · Homer: What's that thing you're doing? Moving my body.
Lisa · Homer: This is worse than when he went to New Orleans and came back with a Southern accent. Uh, how y'all doin'?
Apu · Chief Wiggum: Chief Wiggum, how come every time there's a terrorist chatter in this town, you come to me? Lay off, Apu. When I look at people, I don't see colors. I just see crackpot religions.
Homer · Caller: Yello? Is this line secure? Uh, it's a little jiggly but it'll hold.
Chief Wiggum: We got intel-- uh, that's short for a word I don't know... Intelligence? I don't believe so, no.
Bart: Dad's kneeling on a prayer mat. He doesn't believe in kneeling.
Bart Character Comedy Observational Chief Wiggum · Cat: If you are a cat, prove it. Do you hate Mondays, like Garfield? And do you love lasagna, like me? Meow. Okay then.
Marge: He's like a husband in a widow's memory-- perfect. Perfect.
Marge Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch FBI Agent: No. We're not even here right now.
FBI Agent · Lisa: And don't believe what you've heard about me. I haven't heard anything about you except from you.
Homer · Lisa: Lisa, I'll miss you when this is all over. When what's all over? This conversation. See you on the other side. What other side? Of the house. Where the fireplace is. We're toasting marshmallows. Marsh... mallows.
Homer Lisa Misdirection Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart · Agent Crawford: I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you? Agent Crawford, FBI. You guys know I don't talk to field agents. Get your boss on the phone.
Agent Crawford · Milhouse: Go back to sleep, Milhouse. How do you know my name? I didn't. But I do now.
Agent Crawford · Homer: I can torture you. I can give you incredible sex. Or you can just tell me what I want to know. What was the first one again?
Agent Crawford · Homer: You think I'm beautiful? Oh! In a breaking-and-entering kind of way.
Homer: And if you knew me, you'd know just how odd that sounds.
Agent Crawford · Unknown: You're in too deep, Annie. Get out. Are you real, or my imagination? Either way, my advice is sound.
Homer · Security Guard: You laugh now, but you won't be laughing soon. He's right, because now I go back to remembering that my cat just died.
Homer: My terrorist masters are always talking about you, Lisa.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: They wanted gas, grass or ass, and, brother, I had the ass.
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: Pigs aren't happy to be made into pork chops. This T-shirt lied to me.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: Oh, I've been listening to this song for three days, and it's only the end of the first verse!
Homer Observational Character Comedy Homer: Lisa, I've never prayed to a city in my life, and if I did, it would be Hershey, Pennsylvania.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: Aw, sweetie, you told me a thousand things a million times. Even with a brain the size of a dinosaur's, I couldn't take that in.
Homer: Just like when I smell up the toilet.
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer · Lisa: Lou, Lou, Lou. Lou-Lou-Lou-Lou-Lou...! I can complete my dad's mission just like George W. Bush.
Lou: There's some things they just don't teach you in the police academy... movies.
Lou Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: No, I was just up late watching a movie. Something with William Holden and...
Homer Misdirection Character Comedy FBI Agent: Wait a minute, Burns. You don't have a functioning AC system at a nuclear plant? That's against the law. That's impossible.
Smithers · Mr. Burns: Sir, that's two years from now, and you're not supposed to tell anyone. Oopsie.
Mr. Burns · FBI Agent: Prisons are still made of mud and wattles, right? No. Concrete.
Homer: A beer from the sky! It's a sign!
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm FBI Agent: I wish a mission could bring me closer to someone, but it can't.
Homer: Amazingly, the hamster's older than I am.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Top Episodes — The Simpsons
